Pure silliness, no beta, no spell check, no plausibility check.

NS and IK, an ordinary day:

Another day - another office

"Napoleon, where is that pendant we found on the Thrush villain we apprehended last week?” Illya walked briskly into their office, closing the door with a kick. “I would like to perform some tests with the new sonic..."

"As a matter of fact, Illya, Ilostitinmycoffecupanditdissolved." Napoleon inched backwards toward the door. It was less probable that Illya would kill him when there were witnesses around.

Illya scrunched his forehead, obviously trying to make sense of what he had said. Maybe he would manage to escape, he was already feeling the door handle against his back.

"You WHAT!"

Obviously not. Napoleon held up his hands in a futile attempt at calming his furious looking partner. "I just wanted to look at it, Illya." Napoleon made pleading eyes. "It slipped."

"Slipped? How?"

"I, hrm, eh, had opened the tube with the new brand of," Napoleon whispered, "glide. I wanted to check it out. My hands were still kind of slippery." Pleading eyes wouldn't get him out of this. He added the dimple. "I saved the coffee, Illya."

Illya’s eyes were bulging. Not a calming look on his partner. “You. Had. Lube. On. Your hands. Held. Thrush device. Over. Coffee. Filled. Cup.”

Napoleon wrinkled his eyebrows. “Didn’t I just say that, Illya?”

For once, and this had never happened before, Napoleon thought, Illya seemed at a loss for words. He was gaping. And swallowing. And breathing.

“Na…Napoleon. I am leaving for Alaska. No, Bhutan.” Illya pointed at him with a sturdy finger. “While you, partner, are going straight into Mr. Waverly’s office, bringing the coffee cup. I am certain he will appreciate your explanation.” Illya nodded to himself. “This is a good plan.”

Napoleon was sure it was. For Illya. “What? You want me to out us while you are out there, on a road trip?”

“That way, Mr. Waverly may forget to fire you for destroying the Thrush device.” Illya put his hands in his pockets, looking suddenly surprised.

“He never forgets any…are you smirking Illya? I wouldn’t think you knew how?

Illya smiled.

“Illya!”

Illya laughed outright. “I may have planned my road trip prematurely.”

Napoleon mimed incomprehension.

Illya withdrew his left hand from his pocket, holding a shiny pendant dangling from a chain. “You lost the copy, Napoleon. It was disposable.”

Napoleon sagged against the door, sudden relief making him dizzy, and watched Illya approach and nudge his elbow.

“Come on, Napoleon. I will buy you coffee in the commissary.”

ooo