Okay so, I'm twenty years old. Now, many of my friends have or had boyfriends at some point in the last few years. Me? I haven't. Is there something seriously wrong with me? I've only been asking myself that question for the past four years. I've watched many of my friends get set up and have relationships. I kept thinking that my time was coming. Of course it was, it had to be. There were guys I liked but nothing ever happened. They never liked me back. I started to wonder if I was defective. I mean, people thought I was pretty, my friends told me I was, complete stangers told me I was and yet, there I was still single and completely a prude.
I didn't have my first kiss until I was eighteen. Well actually I was less then two months away from being eighteen. How seriously lame right? The whole situation was totally random. I mean, it was one of my friends, but we had never been attracted to each other. Well I had never been attracted to him. I don't know if he was attracted to me. But we hooked up anyway. And I was finally not a prude so I wasn't about to complain.Then there was the jerk. The guy who I thought was going to save me from my single purgatory. He was so great. Maybe I was crazy. Maybe I did something wrong but I don't think so. It was probably him.
He made me feel like maybe I wasn't a complete failure. Like I was capable of liking something and have them like me back. Who knew maybe there was someone out there who liked me. I wasn't defective! I just had to wait it out. And this guy was definitely worth the wait. He was cute, smart. ambitious, my friends liked him, my parents liked him and he was a great kisser! Score! Things were good in the beginning. We liked each other and we were on the same page. But ya know how that goes. When you think something is good, it's usually bad. And this potientially blossoming romance went pretty bad. Rotten egg bad.
And that's why two years later, here I am, still boyfriendless. So my friends call me the "boyfriendless wonder." I guess I don't mine it, the title is very fitting. The reason behind me being called the boyfriendless wonder is that even though I don't have a boyfriend, nor have I ever had one, I still give lots of relationship and romantic advice. Some of my friends actually said it worked. So I've complied m top questions, answers, and situations, among other things to make your love life hopefully better than mine...
1. Communication: If you don't communicate, how can you ever expect to make it work? You have to keep things honest. A relationship takes being open and sharing with your partner. It's like if you can't tell your partner how you feel, they'll never know. Communication is key. If you can't communicate, you can't be real.
2. Trust: If you don't trust the person you're with, it will never go far. You'll always be doubting the actions of your partner. You can't base a relationship on distrust. If don't trust them, leave. You're better off on your own than you are with a person that you constantly doubt is telling you the truth right? Always be open and honest. Your relationship will benefit greatly.
3. Honesty: You should always be honest. If you lie, there's a good chance the other person will find out. And if they find out, it would be more damanging to your relationship than whatever you lied about was going to be. Why you ask? Because it's like my mom used to tell me. You'll just get into more trouble. Not only because of what you did, but because you lied about what you did.
See? It all ties together. To have and maintain trust in a relationship, you have to be honest and open the lines of communication. The foundation of every good relationship is built on those three things. Trust me. Next, I'll be sharing the most popular questions my friends ask my advice on and my wonderful answers sure to change your way of thinking.
1. I really like this guy but I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?
-Well, you have to not be like me first of al. Tell him! He'll never know how you feel if you don't tell him. You never know, he may like you too. Flirt a little, see how things go. If he seems interested than take it to the next level by telling him you like him. If he doesn't seem interested, you may not want to say anything and save yourself the trouble. But if you feel gutsy, just do it! You'll never know what could happen.
2. Guys never seem interested. Is it me?
-No, it's not you! You obviously just haven't found the right person yet. He's out there I promise. I know, who am I to be answering such a question but this is the advice others have given me. But if you think it could be you, there are a few things to consider. Maybe you're being too picky. It is possible you know. There may have been a great guy you passed up because he didn't fot some sort of standard that you have. If that's the case, try again. You don't want to kick yourself later for missing out. But in any matter, don't stress, it'll happen.
3. I like my best friend but I'm afraid that dating him will mess up with friendship. Any advice?
-Again, it comes down to communication. How does he feel about you? Have you talked to him about it? If you guys have mutually decided that you like each other then you need to mutually decide on the next step. Talk about the pros and cons of taking your relationship to the next level and once you've decided then take it where you're going to take it. Don't be afraid to tell him that you're worried or scared. He's your best friend, you should be able to talk to him about it. Chances are he's feeling the same. Just talk to him.
4. I've been hooking up with the same guy for months. Now I think I like him. Help!
-That could be a problem. What were the agreements of your hookup? If it was a friends-with-benefits kid of thing, then having a crush on him could most definitely be a problem. Also, do you know how he feels about you? Because if he doesn't like you in that way then it's going to be really hard for you. So I suggest being careful and trying to casually bring it up in conversation. Feel it out before you do something that could hurt you.
5. I really liked this guy and thought he liked me too. But then he told me that he just wanted to be friends and finished it with "I really like you." What the heck is he trying to say?
-Hm, sounds like he's trying to say that he's confused about his feelings for you. He may have been interested in you but he may not have known how to deal with his feelings. So instead of trying to call figure them out, he pushed them away and pushed you away as well. Give him some time to figure them out. If he likes you enough he'll come back. If not, don't sweat it. You're probably better off.
1. My boyfriend always ditches me for his friends.
-Kate
-Guys suck. I mean, yeah his friends are important to him but you should be too. Talk to him. Chances are he has no clue. [Edit: I read in a magazine that a guy who's loyal to his friends is loyal to you too. Just let him know when he's being too loyal]
2. He never wants to do what I want to do.
-Jocelyn
-You have to let him know that relationships are about compromise. Sometimes he has to do what you want to do too. Suggest that you guys take turns doing what you both like to do. Like trade off every weekend or every other weekend.
3. The guy I like keeps sending me mixed signals.
-Sierra
-Ditch him. I know this one from personal experience. Playing games and wasting time is not fair. Either he likes you or he doesn't. And even if he's not sure, it's not right to be jerking you in different directions.
4. Why do I always have to be the one to call?
-Danielle
-Couldn't tell ya. Guys are sometimes incapable of remembering things so that could be the problem. Their short term memory is wired differently than ours. Just talk to him about it. Maybe he just didn't realize and will make a more conscious effort.
5. My boyfriend's sister hates me and to make matters worse, my boyfriend will take her side. What should I do?
-Ally
-That simple, as far as her disliking you goes, don't do anything. If she doesn't like you, chances are she'll never like you. The harder you try, the worse you could potentially make it. And as for him, talk to him. Tell him that you understand his closeness with his sister but it's not fair to you when he takes her side over yours. You're supposed to be his girlfriend. He's dating you, not her. And if he can't understand that, dump him.
The funny thing about all of those questions is how often I've heard them. It's amazing how often my coupled-off friends come to me for advice. Me! The perpetually single one. But they said single people are the best people to ask because they are removed from the whole scene. That's all well and good but I always ask 'Why not ask a single friend who has been in a relationship?' They always say that currently single friends always base their advice on what they did wrong in their past relationships. The friend who has never been in a real relationship has no bad past experiences to base their advice on. It makes for a totally nonjudgemental and unbiased opinion.
After hearing that plenty of times, I started to believe it. So if you don't believe what I've said, oh well. My friends do and ultimately since this advice was for them, their happiness is all that matters. I know what you're saying. You're saying 'Gianna, if you didn't care, why share with us?' Well because I think I have valid opinion and you may find something that you can use to help your love life. I'm starting to take my own advice. And if you don't find anything useful, I'm sure you can laugh at it. I know I sure have. Okay, so before I go, here are a few last parting words.