Katia Rogers walked into her empty apartment. It seemed to be so dark and cold, mirroring her emotions and the weather outside. She had just walked about a mile in the freezing cold and snow because she couldn't stand to be in the house anymore. She couldn't believe it, she was really alone. Her boyfriend Nick Miller had broken up with her the day before. Katia knew it was coming, she had known for weeks. She just didn't want to admit to herself that it was possible. She thought Nick was so forgiving. He had been in the past but even he had a limit. She had messed up too many times for him to take her back again. Even she knew it. She wouldn't have taken her back if she were him. She didn't know what was wrong with her. Why couldn't she stay faithful? She had no reason to cheat. Nick was the greatest boyfriend she could ever ask for. She loved him and even if he didn't love her anymore, she would love him until the day that she died. And she felt like a part of her had died. She was never going to be the same person she was before Nick. She would be a shell of her former self. But it was like the saying goes 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks.' Once a cheater, always a cheater. Katia basically came to terms with the fact that she would be alone for the rest of her life because she didn't know how to stay committed to one person. And when she was, it never lasted long. As she was sitting in her dark living room, silently beating herself up, the phone rang.
"Hello?" she asked
"Hi Kati. It's Melody." her best friend said.
"Hi. What's up?" Katia asked
"Nothing much. What are you up to?" Melody asked
"Sitting here, trying to figure out why I'm so fucked up." Katia replied
"You're not fucked up Kati." Melody said
"Well then why is it that I cannot maintain a relationship? Why can't I stay faithful to the person I'm with? Why must I always try to find something else, even if I'm perfectly happy with the one I'm with?" Katia asked, nearing tears.
"I don't know. Have you ever thought about maybe going to a therapist?" Melody asked
"Oh great, so now you think I'm crazy?" Katia asked
"Did I say that? No, I didn't. I'm merely saying that maybe you need to talk to a professional. There could be something deeper than either of us can ever figure out." Melody said
"I guess you could be right." Katia agreed
"And besides, I hardly think you're crazy. Wouldn't it be nice to get a more expert opinion on your problems?" Melody asked
"Yeah. I'll think about it. Thanks Mel." Katia said
"Of course. It's what best friends do." Melody replied
"I guess so. Hold on, I have a beep." Katia said
"Okay." Melody replied
"Hello?" Katia asked
"Kat? It's Nick." he said
"Um, hi. What's up?" Katia asked
"I was wondering if I could come over. We need to talk." he said
"What else is there to say?" Katia asked
"A lot. I'll be there in twenty minutes." he said
"Fine. I'll be here." Katia replied
"Bye." Nick said. Katia clicked back over to Melody.
"Who was it?" Melody asked
"Nick." Katia replied
"Whoa. What did he want?" Melody asked
"He wants to talk." Katia replied
"Well good luck with that." Melody said
"Yeah, thanks." Katia scoffed
"I don't know what to say Kati." Melody replied
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'm just nervous." Katia replied
"Understandable. Well, I gotta jet. I'll call you tonight when I get back from work." Melody said
"Okay. I'll talk you then." Katia said
"Hang in there kiddo." Melody said
"I will. Bye." Katia said, hanging up.
Katia aimlessly wandered around her apartment for the next few minutes waiting for Nick to come over. She really couldn't figure out what he could possibly want from her. She thought that he said everything he had to say when he broke up with her. He pretty much laid it all on the table. There was no ultimatium, he was done with her. He couldn't have been any clearer about it. He told her flat out that he couldn't take her shit anymore and he was fed up. And she just sat there and took it. There really wasn't anything else she could do about it. She knew fighting with him would have made no different because everything he was saying was completely right. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. She got up to answer it. There was Nick standing there with a serious look on his face.
"Hi." he said first.
"Hi. Come in." she said, stepping aside for him to pass.
"How are you?" he asked
"As good as to be expected. What's up?" she asked, walking into the apartment.
"I thought of some more things I wanted to say." he replied
"What? I can't think of anything you could have possibly held back." she replied, sitting on the couch.
"I love you." he said
"I know that." she countered
"You need help. Something isn't right." he said
"No kidding something isn't right. I've been beating myself up for the past twenty four hours about that." she said
"Kat, I want to be with you. I love you. I have for a long time." he said
"Nick, I know. But I don't know what to do." she replied, shaking her head.
"Have you thought about seeing a therapist?" he asked
"Melody suggested the same thing." she said sadly.
"It's just a suggestion Kat. I'm not saying you're crazy but there could be something behind your actions." he said
"I know, I know. We'll see okay?" she replied
"Well, I just want you to know that I'm willing to wait for as long as it takes for you to be better." he said
"Are you serious?" she asked
"Of course I am. Katia, I'm lost without you. But I know I can't be with you right now. We're both hurting." he said
"Yeah. I promise I'll get help." she said
"And I promise I'll be here for you, every step of the way." he said
"Great." she said smiling.
"Yeah." he agreed
He got up to leave and they walked to the front door. Nick kissed the top of Katia's head before opening the door. She stood there staring at him.
"I love you." he said
"I love you too." she said, closing the door.
Once the door was shut and locked tight Katia cried. She cried a million tears for every word she couldn't say. She knew Nick loved her and he just wanted her to be better and she wanted to be better for him. She didn't want to go to a therapist but she knew she had to. And she was going to. For Nick. Because she was lost without him.