Citizens' Center
(page 7)
~ My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
~ Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
~ Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
~ Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
~ Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and
misplaced his hip.
~ John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
~ Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
~ Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
~ Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
~ Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
~ Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
~ Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
~ Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
~ I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping
because I don't know what size she wear.
~ Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper
off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
~ Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
~ My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired.
She spent a weekend with the Marines.
~ Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
~ Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
~ Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
~ Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
~ Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and
upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever
and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something
going around, her father even got hot last night.
She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper, and then in a bit of inspiration, takes a quarter out of her purse. The blonde then starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet "Yes" for heads and "No" for tails.
Within 30 minutes she's all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes of the exam period, the blonde again frantically starts flipping the coin again.
The moderator, concerned about what she's doing, stops by and asks if she's ok.
"Oh yes, I'm fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago -- but, " explained the frantic coin-tossing blonde, "I'm going back thru and checking my answers!"
