Citizens' Center
(page 5)
George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a
particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they
spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it
was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left
Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the
following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer
in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he
accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without
realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from
her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory
following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her email expecting messages
from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed
and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on
the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've arrived
Date: October 16, 2004
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now
and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived
and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your
arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey
is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!!!
They're really good for nothing,
but they bring a smile to your face
when you push them down a flight of stairs.
