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<sigh>,
What the fuck? Story goes like this. I even question whether I have to tell it I'm pretty sure you can see how it goes. Kind of like when someone starts to tell you a story of this church they heard of that practices snake handeling....they dont' even have to finish the story before you know what happens. Anyway, I go on this date, yada yada yada, ok fastforward, we're talking and I get THE line. I refer to it as THE line because I've heard it before and I'm trying to get to the bottom of it. THE line goes like this, "I want to be friends first and then if something happens it happens." In relationship communication standards it is arguably the most fucked up statement you can tell someone. And here's why...it is so incredibly ambigous and flawed at its core. Lets back up a bit and find where the root of this trend comes from.
Who hasn't heard the [A]"I think we should start seeing other people."? (Which is funny because there is no fucking thought of "we" in that statement. People should be honest and say I want to see other people. What they are really saying is "I really don't care about whether or not you see someone else, I"m tired of you, this time tomorrow I'll be fucking someone else....most likely someone you know,possibly a family memeber.) Or, [B]"I just want to be friends." or the often used "I only see you as a friend."? My theory is the new and improved method of fucking with people is the "be friends first" approach. This is a clever union of the two classic break up methods in one new peemptive strike approach to a relationship. I beleive this has come about as a result of the Bush regime's retoric and Dr. Phil's (gently put) bullshit. Our society has begun to influenced by such stupidity.
So you might ask, what effect does the "be friends first" approach have? It is the ambigousness of the phrase that is its masterfulness. What the fuck does that mean?!?! By that logic you are already friends with lots of people around you, why wouldn't you start dating them? Well because you only see them as friends, and you don't usually date your friends. This is imploring logic [B]. And aren't you allowed to have more than one friend. Doing what you want when you want with each friend. This is imploring logic [A] So you see, we treat friends in this repesct because it allows us to be free from responsibility or commitment. Ask yourself if there is ever really a possibility of becoming more than friends with the [A] and [B] mentality. FUCK NO! But see here is where the clever twist comes in....in seeing [A] and [B] as new and improved logic [C] we can the add the phrase "first." Fully knowing that there is no possibility of a friendship ever moving past just that, a friendship.
So how do you approach this. Do you take your friend, singular just one, out to dinner? Do you complement each other and stare into each others eyes? Do you hold hands and take nice quiet walks? If you do....you're gay. Because my friends are guys. See, you must understand. I don't want to date my fucking friend. I sit around and drink and insult the hell out of my friends as they do me. We go to games and shoot pull talk about shit that a lot of times doens't make any sense. A lot of the time we do absolutely nothing just fuck around. We cancel on each other all the time because other shit comes along. You can do that, you are just friends. My point it the way I treat my friends, and hence desire to be with my friends, is not th e way I want to be with my girlfriend or perspective girlfriend. And fuck anyone who thinks differently but that is the way it should be. Whatever happened to dating someone and getting to know them. Women bitch about there are know gentleman out there but then you don't know exactly how to treat a woman. Would you prefer I act like I just want to fuck? I can do that. I can do that very well. Or would you prefer I treat you with respect and interest, understanding, compassion. Lets see if we clique. If not then, guess what? See you around, Peace. That it. Don't give me this friends bullshit. It's hard enough to find a descent woman who hasn't fucked half the city and can talk about something other than the shoes she got at the mall. Now women are trying to complicate the whole process. Be honest how you feel with someone. If you want to keep dating...then fine. Keep dating go out a couple of time see if you grow more attached. Allow that person to be who that person is. This is how you avoid the classic, "he wasn't this way when I met him (officer)." I don't know folks, maybe, just maybe there is a woman out there who understands. I'll tell you one thing, from what I see this culture, this society, I am finding it harder and harder to belive that that woman will be an American woman.