Selma's Legs

Robin Williams pokes fun at Selma Blair's stunning, leg revealing attire on the Tonight Show.   (1/17/03)

Selma Blair. I'd seen her briefly on television, here and there, but didn't know her name, nor did I care too. I thought she was just another very pretty actor. That was until I saw her on the David Letterman show. That changed everything.

I've been a leg man as long as I can remember. I used to think that the best legs were the very longest legs and therefore always attached to the tallest supermodels. Selma Blair started to make me rethink that. On Letterman she wore a short dress with her legs constantly crossed (the sexiest quiescent position for legs). I just stared at the television. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She couldn't be more than 5'5'', I thought to myself. Why on earth can't I avert my gaze from her legs?

Months and months went by. Seeing her in commercials for movies from time to time would remind me of her appearance on Letterman and how sexy she was. Eventually, the memory faded somewhat. It wasn't until January 17th, 2003 that a permanent change would take place. I was lazily flipping through channels on the television when I heard Jay Leno announce that Selma Blair would be appearing on the Tonight Show momentarily. So, I made it a point to see her introduced just in case she wore something that flattered her legs. Nothing could have prepared me for what she had in store. At this time I am still unable to type exactly what she she did. You see, I can't move when I think of it. As soon as I begin to replay her actions in my mind, I drift into a head tilting, eye glazing, smile inducing daydream. I'm not kidding. It really, really affected me. Suffice it so say that her appearance on that show has cemented me into holding the following two statements as absolute, undeniable truths:

1) Selma Blair has one of the sexiest pairs of legs in the world.
2) Selma Blair understands the incredible and underrated power that sexy legs can have and this makes her both sexy and fascinating.

So fascinating that seeing two talk show appearances by her has inspired me beyond mere ponder and hereto pen and publish! Such is the charisma of those who are gifted in both physical form and mental prowess. When a woman tailors her appearance and her pose to bias the legs, she reveals herself to be powerful and smart. She might also be privy to the knowledge that leg men are typically more learned, passionate and allegiant than men who are predominantly fascinated with other parts of the female body (although none too modest).

This was the moment. The moment when everyone was stopped in their tracks as Selma Blair suddenly and graciously chose to create for us that which can only be described as one of the sexiest moments in talk show history. Though the above image (captured from a video cassette tape, so not nearly a faithful representation) is hauntingly sexy, it pales infinitely in comparison to how stunning she actually looked on television that night.

With the passing of considerable time, I hope to be able to describe in more detail what occurred on the Tonight Show and how it affected me then and now as it has, no doubt, affected scores of leg men across the country. But, I will likely find myself unable to do so aptly as no text could capture the fevered rush and anticipation that I, as one of millions, experienced that winter night when all I could care to wonder was what Selma Blair would say or do next.

Update - 10/14/08: I haven't written on this page for over five and a half years (a considerable amount of time indeed) but I am still unable to put into words the effects of January 17th, 2003. However, events last night have led me to contemplate about not what happened, but rather, what might have happened had fate been a little kinder. I present the subject in a question: Is it just me or are you dying to know what Selma Blair would have worn if her dress didn't rip?!

Selma Blair was on The Tonight Show last night to promote her new hilarious show, Kath and Kim when she mentioned that the dress she was wearing was actually her second choice as her initial dress was accidentally ripped. Then she laid it on us: the initial dress was much sexier.

I wish she hadn't mentioned that. What she eventually wore was absolutely lovely but the notion that she intended to don a much sexier outfit rattled my head with unanswerable questions: What did it look like? Would it have flattered her legs even more than this gorgeous "crinkly" number? I bet it really, really flattered her legs. Could the outfit have led to a moment comparable to what occurred five and a half years ago? Did we all just miss out on what might have been one of the most mind-shattering Selma Blair leg moments of all time because a horrifically timed tear?!

That small comment about the change in dress got me (and countless others, I'm sure) speculating about what might have been and, therefore, thinking about her well after the show ended. So, here I waste away, resigned to a world where all I want to wonder is what Selma Blair would have worn were it not for a wanton rip.

Because it has been so long since I've written about Selma Blair, allow me to put forth something I've learned about this actor over that time: Selma Blair is one of the most august talents we've seen and will ever see on screen. To the unfortunate among you who may be tempted to label such a statement hyperbole, consider this. There are only a few performers in the history of Hollywood that have displayed a versatility rivaling that of Selma Blair's. She can play (and has played) many types of characters -- shy, funny, weak, cold, warm, powerful -- in various genres -- drama, comedy, suspense, action -- and all to great success. Even with her extraordinary accomplishments, ordinary folks feel akin to her sweetness as she maintains an aura of accessibility via a demeanor that she cannot stifle. It is a demeanor which shows such great success has not given her a sense of superiority. That is a rare and welcome trait that helps to explain, in part, why Selma Blair is and will continue to be a star.

Questions or comments may be directed to me at: [email protected]

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