Chapter Seven
Disclosure
Smelly Lake Rotorua stretched out in front of Kaylen and Alex. The sulphur in the area gave it a permanent smell that lingered in the air most places around Rotorua. In the middle of the Lake was an island that held special meaning for the local Maori Tribe. This place would also hold a special significance for Alex and especially Kaylen. They sat together on the edge of the lakeside and looked out over the water. A definite rift had grown between them since leaving Auckland. Alex hardly spoke during the trip, and Kaylen was feeling agitated because she had no idea what could be wrong. They both knew they would have to speak to each other, Kaylen felt Alex should start seeing as he must have the problem. Alex just fiddled with the drawstrings of his cargo trousers and avoided Kaylen's watchful eye.
Kaylen asked the question to at least start the conversation. "Alex, what is going on here? I mean a couple of days ago and everything was going great, and now it's like you don�t even want to be with me". Kaylen pushed a few stones around with her hand and avoided Alex's eye as he looked up to face her. If she had looked at him she would have seen the mixture of pain and anger fighting to say something.
"Well I don't really know Kaylen; maybe you could enlighten me as to what is wrong. Why do you think we are having this problem at the moment when everything was going great?"
"What type of question is that, and that doesn't answer my question. I'm the one that is confused here and has no idea what is happening. You would not even talk to me as we drove along the road; I wanted to share my insight into the local scenery with you. Where has my friend gone?" Kaylen was afraid of looking at Alex because she had seen his expression and still had no idea whatsoever what was happening.
"I guess Kaylen, that I just want you to be honest with me. You keep talking to me about how important trust and honesty is to you, and how you feel some kind of connection with me. I want you to show me that you actually trust me. I want the truth! I thought we had trust in whatever we have here." Alex motioned to the space between Kaylen and himself.
"Alex, you are going to have to spell this out to me in small words and simple sentences because I have been completely honest with you. I don't believe anyone; especially you would or could even question my integrity in this way? I have no reason to lie to you, Alex, I really like and respect you. Just tell me what it is that I have done, or not told you!" Kaylen picked up a small pile of rocks and threw them out into the lake with all the velocity she could muster.
�Why did you tell me that all your mother�s parents had died�.
�Because they have, and what does that have to do with anything, it�s none of your business anyway Alex�.
�A few days ago, that day we kissed, I got an email from my mother, her friend had a request to ask�. They wanted me to find someone for them and their parents. I didn�t think of it much then, all I knew was they were a female British traveller and is in New Zealand�.
�Is there a point to your story Alex, or are you trying to distract me from the fact you are being a complete and utter ass�. Kaylen rubbed her head; this was a completely useless attempt to provide reasoning for some ridiculous story. There was almost nothing Alex could do or say to recover and take his size ten out of his mouth.
�Just let me get to the point!� Alex was angry and didn�t want to be in front of this woman any more. �Kaylen shut up and let me finish. The parents of the friend say they are your grandparents�.
�Alex do you have any idea how insulting this is. Of course my grandparents are dead; I think I would be a better judge of that than you. I watched them all get lowered into the ground, I wept for them, and I held my Mum when she was in tremendous amounts of pain! Where were you? No, you have no right to question this, Alex! There must be hundreds of British tourists in New Zealand. This isn�t a good way to start a relationship Alex. What reason did you think I would have anything to do with this?�
�It�s pretty easy to tell they are looking for you. They have your name, Kaylen. And not just that one, the whole thing Candida Kaylen Knight. You can�t refute that, Liar!�
�How dare you! I am not a liar, and I do not have any grandparents other than the one you already know about. How can you say these awful things, Alex? There must be some big mix up somewhere. Maybe there is another Candida Kaylen somewhere.�
�Face the facts Kaylen, you are busted! If you are having trouble remembering them maybe you should try and think on a wider scale, include ALL of your mothers in the list. I know the truth Kaylen. Get off your high horse and admit your deceit. It would have saved this whole pointless argument!� Alex stood up and brushed himself off, Kaylen also stood.
�Yeah that would have been really great, wouldn�t it? The only problem with that is the fact I don�t have any other mothers.� Alex had put up with enough of this stupidity. He stared to walk away, yelling back that she should ask her Aunt Carolyn because she knew everything. There was no reason he had to put up with this; he had tourist things to do with his time. If Kaylen was too stubborn to give in on this thing then she was not worth being around. It was not like they were married, in fact there were hardly any emotional ties to the relationship.
Kaylen walked off in the opposite direction unable to get over the horrible things Alex had accused of her. What kind of person would say those things with the intention to hurt another? Kaylen did not see any resurrection of their relationship happening. What she was sure of was the need to eat. Sympathy food for one of the shortest relationships recorded.
Kaylen had decided that Alex must never have liked her, and heard her talking about her aunt. As Kaylen walked along the main street of Rotorua she saw a phone box and didn�t think it could cause her any more pain to phone Carolyn and tell her the ridiculous things Alex had gone off about. Even though it was she knew it was stupid, she just wanted clarification.
Kaylen dialled the number of her calling card and the number connecting to her aunt�s house. Even though it was the middle of the night, Carolyn answered the phone call.
�Carolyn, I have quite an alarming question to ask you, and I know you will laugh. You don�t know anything about someone trying to find me, do you?� Kaylen was going to continue with �isn�t that ridiculous� but was cut off.
�That was quick.� Carolyn said, almost in whisper.
�What? There was someone looking for me?� Kaylen was tired and was sick of the games people play.
�I-ah, um. I don�t know what you are talking about, Kaylen? It was just a little slip of the tongue�. Carolyn was waking up quickly but was confused as to this conversation. How could Kaylen know? They had only started this about a week ago. She thought she would have more time. It wasn�t supposed to happen like this, there was an agreement and now they had broken that contract.
�Again, I say what! I heard you say something Carolyn and I demand to know what you are meaning!� Kaylen did not like the sound of how this conversation was turning out. It was not at all as she expected. What was happening, how could she have been out of the loop in something important that had to do with her own life?
�How do you know you are being looked for?� Carolyn could only hope to save something out of this phone call that would keep Kaylen talking to her after the shambles, that was this situation, was cleared.
�Because the person who is meant to be looking for me confronted me with some disturbing accusations.�
�But he was supposed to be keeping this distance and just observing for the people that are looking for you. He was not meant to even talk to you about anything until he got clearance!� Carolyn had picked up the cordless phone and gone into another room so as not to disturb her sleeping husband.
�Well he could not exactly keep his mouth shut or his distance, we are, or at least were, very good friends. I mean we�ve just started a relationship. So tell me the truth now or I will hang up this phone and never tell you anything anymore about where I am or what I am doing.� Kaylen meant business. There was a very strong chance that even if Carolyn did tell what was happening that she still wouldn�t talk to them ever again. It would depend on her mood and the type of information Kaylen was going to be told about her life.
�No one wanted to hurt you Kaylen, especially your mother. I do not want you to hate me for what I am about to tell you, we all wanted your parents to tell you this but they never did. I guess to save you the pain and also the confusion. But these people approached me a few weeks ago, just after you had left England, and I knew the time of the secret had come to an end. I have wanted to tell you this for so long. Kaylen, you are adopted.� Carolyn sighed and fought back the tears. This was not the type of thing you ever wanted to tell anyone, especially your own niece. For now the rest of the story could wait, this first blow was enough for eternity.
�I know I�m adopted, but only by my father. You cannot tell me Mum adopted me! You know that I am not adopted. My mother had a long drawn out labour for 28 hours and I have seen photographs of me when I was born. Carolyn, what are you saying?� Kaylen was almost dizzy, there was no possible way this was true, was there?
"Yes, your mother did adopt you. She was unable to have children of her own but dearly wanted a family. Your mum always wanted the best for you; the only problem was that she also wanted complete credit for your achievements. They made up the story of the affair because they knew one of them would not be able to take the credit for you, what with your mixed colouring. It just made more sense for your father to be the adoptee. They had a real copy of your birth certificate, which they used to get your passport. They had another doctored copy, showing your real adoption details, but with your birth father�s name omitted and with your mother�s name changed. They told you that they both had to adopt you because the courts wouldn�t allow only one person to adopt you, and that is why both names appeared in the adoptive details, which you have seen. These people that are looking for you are really your birth mother�s parents, your grandparents�. The phone disconnected as Kaylen hung up, she wanted to hear no more of this episode.
Kaylen put down the phone and backed away from the box as if it had a disease. It was a disease of truth and deceit that she had just been infected. The side effects were as yet unknown, even when they were presented Kaylen had no way of reading the symptoms. If she had read them she had not expected anything like this. And now she was alone. Kaylen was sure Rotorua was big enough for Alex and herself not to cross paths. Kaylen needed someone to talk to but he was angry about something that, at the time, she had no idea about. Surly if they saw each other they could make up, but did she want to?
Kaylen was in a half dream world as she walked through the gardens on the way to the museum. Suddenly without warning all her feelings rushed to the surface and Kaylen fell to the ground in tears. Every memory of her mother flashed past. How could she not be my mum? What about all the stories of the 28-hour labour, and all the photos in the hospital? Why couldn�t they tell me I was adopted? They had twenty-three years to fill her in. Yeah Kaylen, I�m not your mother. I just signed some papers and ta da, you arrived. The magic of childbirth! A mixture of sadness and anger washed over Kaylen so she decided that heading toward the museum for a bit of culture would be a good cure.
It was the best thing she could have done. As Kaylen exited she added another item to her list of things to do while in Rotorua. First thing to do was stop at the backpackers to pick up her swimming togs and head to one of the local mineral spa baths and relax for a few hours. She waked down the steps into the sun and pulled down her sunglasses. Kaylen headed into her future. She changed her mind on returning to the backpackers and seeing Alex�s bags and decided to check out. Kaylen found another backpacker hostel as far away from the old one as she could find, and then relaxed in the spa pool they had at the lodge. There was no point going anywhere else. If someone wanted to find Kaylen again they would have to do it the old fashioned way and without any help from her. From now on it wouldn�t be as easy to find Kaylen Knight, she wouldn�t be emailing her aunt for a while.
Alex arrived back at their original room to find an unknown guy sitting on what used to be Kaylen�s bed in their twin single share room. After finding out he was supposed to be there Alex headed down to the office to investigate. All they could say was that Kaylen had checked out about half an hour ago and that she had left a note.
Alex,
I thought I had better leave the room and you. I have a lot of things to think about and I thought you would not want me to stay here. Think of me as you will � I cannot change your perspective. Anyway, I don�t think you would listen even if I tried to talk. I should tell you to phone your mother, I�m guessing she will have heard through the grapevine what happened by now and will have some interesting news for you to accept. If those people need to get hold of me they can try and get in contact through my auntie, who should have been the person to contact me in the first place. Chances are I will not be contacting her for a while because I no longer trust her enough to confide anything. Look at the mess created when they leave it up to a stupid monkey boy, you should have just followed your orders and then we might still be friends. I don�t think much of you at the moment. I hope in future you do what you are told and have a nice horrible life filled with pain, misery and heartache, just like me.
C.K.K.
Alex screwed up the note and went to use the phone to call home. From what Kaylen had said, she knew what his mother would have to say. How dare she try and control him after everything she had done. Kaylen had pretty much admitted in that letter that she had been caught out and was running away because she couldn�t handle facing him, and the fact she had ruined their relationship. Girls were stupid and shouldn�t be allowed out of their cages. It was no wonder there were so many homosexual men out there when women like Kaylen were able to get away with being horrible disgusting excuses for the �fairer sex�.
Kaylen
What a heavy load to bear. I can't believe this happened, where did my life go? I thought it was messed up enough already and now there is this to deal with. I am starting to think of many questions that I need answered and I don't know whom to ask. Who is there I can trust in my family to tell me the truth? How can I believe anything anymore? Well it answers a few questions about my father. He probably felt quite duped when I turned out brown and they had to make up some ridiculous story to make the whole thing seem believable. They really did not want me to know the truth.
That spa was amazing. It didn�t get rid of all my heartache and internal pain, but all the physical scars are a lot less painful. I guess I will take one day at a time and wait and see. I suppose in time I will start to think about questions I have. I already have a few but I need more time to compute what has happened. My life has changed forever and I have no idea when it will be back on track. What I do know is that I am in a wonderful location for all this horrid stuff to be happening. This area has so much to offer a tourist and I am damn well going to have a good time, all that other stuff doesn�t matter at the moment. It is not like it is going anywhere except the back of my mind from now until the end of time. I might be lucky and meet up with some more tourists and travel around with them, but for now I am happy to be on my own and free from Alex�s bad karma.