Kaylen looked out of the bus windows and watched as the paddocks and cars flew past. The animals looked so content to just stand there. They didn�t have to put on any airs and graces; also they probably couldn�t remember their mothers and fathers. They probably had children but didn�t have to pretend they cared.
The group were currently travelling even further north on a bus trip to see a very long beach and a lighthouse. The road wound inland, twisted and turned, travelled through small towns and places Kaylen would have liked to return at some stage. The road continued and went through coastal towns where the view was amazing. This would be a great place to live, and the exchange rate was very much in her favour - �1 equal to $3 New Zealand.
Averill leaned forward and bent over the Kaylen and Alex�s seats. She pointed out of the window at some people standing in the middle of the mudflats. One of the New Zealanders, or Kiwi�s as they are fondly called, told those that would listen that the locals were collecting pipi. Later in the trip the tourists also had a chance to try this task as well, using their toe to dig around in the mud and sand in an attempt to loosen the local food.
When they eventually made it to the top, at the end of a long, windy and metal/gravel road, Cape Reinga lay in front of them. The driver informed the travellers of the spiritual significance of this point for Maori � the indigenous culture of New Zealand. In Maori mythology, the headland down past the lighthouse is the point where spirits of the dead jump off from this world and travel down to the underworld. As the others ran around the path to get photos next to the lighthouse, Kaylen went and stood at the edge of the Cape and looked out towards the spiritual point. It felt right to be standing here. From this point you could look far out to the ocean horizon and you could easily see where the Tasman Sea and Pacific Ocean meet with a crash and a roar.
Kaylen felt the universe had brought her to this point. Since her mother died she had been carrying around a large weight in her heart. It was almost like her mother�s spirit had been catching a ride until finding a place it wanted to spend eternity. This was the place because Kaylen suddenly felt free. When they returned to Paihia and unwound after the busy day, Kaylen walked up to Alex and gave him a hug. �I haven�t thanked you properly for the other day. Thanks for being a really good friend.�
Kaylen
What an amazing day. I never expected anything like this to happen. The story the driver told us about the spiritual journey to the underworld was amazing. I love hearing about cultural beliefs and I felt such a connection with that place. In general I have never felt so free and comfortable with a place than I have felt here in New Zealand. Maybe I lived here in a past life. After today I feel free of the grief and pain I have been feeling since Mum died. I feel like I can begin to live again. I�ll never forget her, but at least now I can begin to not resent her for leaving me alone in this world.
I know most people say this about their mothers, but my mum was everything. Over the last few years I didn�t see her as much as I would have liked, but we talked or emailed every couple of days. She was a great nurse and I used to love being sick because she would stay home and dress up in her uniform and treat me like one of her patients. I remember one time when three of my friends and I were all sick at the same time. Mum offered to look after them all so their mum�s could go to work. It was like the children�s ward at a really fun hospital. Anything I needed she would get for me and anytime I needed a ride she would drop everything to pick me up. I lost her and I felt like I had lost half of myself.
My father on the other hand, what can I possible say about him other than the only time he made me fell free or joyful was the time he gave me my first grown up hiding at about age thirteen. I no longer had to pretend that I was grateful for his existence, economic and emotional support. I didn�t have to pretend that I was indebted to him for adopting me so I wasn�t the bastard child of my mother�s illicit affair during marriage.
I laugh when I remember back to the day they both sat me down and told me that the man I �thought� was my father really wasn�t. Did they think I was blind to the fact that my mum was white and my father was white? I was and clearly am of much stronger stuff � being of mixed blood. They thought I would love and respect my father because he took my mother back after their break and raised me as his own child. I do get pleasure out of knowing my mother was at one time strong enough and smart enough to get away from the drinking, gambling and debt ridden lump of a man that my father was. It would have been nice though to experience a life not filled with hate and pain. To put things as they really were Darrell did deeply love my mother. This was to the point that he took his own life because he literally could not live without her. My father just could not take the fact that the child he had to care for as his own was of impure and disgusting black blood. He forgave my mother because they were on a break, but he could never forgive me for turning out this way. Did I mention he was a horrendous racist animal who was disgusted by anything not of his own kind? If I had only come out white and stayed white everything would have been okay. Alas though as I got older my true skin colour and darker hair came as well and he could not look at me and ignore the fact I was half black. To make his point clear he tried to �beat the black b**t**d out of me�, it never worked except that I usually turned a nice shade of purple and it was still not the colour he wanted. He didn�t care about me at all and probably laughed in his grave when I had to deal with all his debts. The house sold for �200,000, �120,000 for an outstanding mortgage, 50 k for miscellaneous debts of my fathers, 10 k for my loan, leaving �20,000 for my inheritance.
I have never admitted this before but I would have been interested to know my real father. Unfortunately now my mother has gone I don�t think that would be possible. If I had only had a chance to say goodbye I would have asked. I would then have had the chance to know about my own culture. As it is I have only known have bangers and mash, Queen and Country.
Alex
Well, that was some kind of crazy. I don�t get that girl, Kaylen. Today she has been on some kind of crazy universe that isn�t Earth. One moment I think I am grasping some comprehension of her and then she does something really out of character, like that hug. Mind you she was beginning to bum everyone out with her sad energy. I knew why but couldn�t exactly tell the girls, that is Kaylen�s place and not mine. My job is to be Kaylen�s friend and to put up with the others whining. Man, they can moan and whine for about ten people. It is starting to get on my nerves. At least Kaylen has a valid reason for being cranky, they�re just been pedantic. Today we all went for a boat cruise out to the �Hole in The Rock�, which was nice except that Lucy wore this stupid scarf and it flew overboard because �Oh No� it was windy. This is not a surprise since we were nearly out of the Bay and in the middle of the freaking ocean! I don�t get women and scarves; maybe that is why I am still single, although I might like to change that. I mean SHE did hug me and �thank me�. Maybe I should start to seriously turn on ye ole Alexander Haverty charm? Ha Ha Ha, I think with Kaylen it is best to just leave it all up to her. I have decided that yes, I am going to make an effort to treat this girl. She deserves something nice, and besides it may calm her down. Since we got back from that trip to the lighthouse Kaylen has been bouncing off the walls.
I have just received an email from my mother. I am using the Internet and emailing people, catching up with what is happening back home. No Royals have died; no pop stars have had babies since I have left. All is well. My mother is busy with all of her normal day-to-day charity things and saving the world. I am pretty sure that the only people she saves are the wealthy and powerful from the shame of being seen in a bad light. But I guess when you spend all of your time surrounded by Lords, Ladies, Counts and Barons things become hazy and the line between reality and dreamtime gets hazy. I guess I just have to face the facts my parents are aristocrats who spend all their money making other rich people happy by throwing big parties for the fortunate so they can give a little bit of time to the needy. It is good to be here in a place that is so obviously not all about dollars and pounds. Some of the towns we have driven through here in Northland have astounded me and I guess my jaded view of the world already didn�t help. Is there really a need for some people to have an exponential amount of wealth when others are living from government handout to handout? I know my parents are more in the first category and I am product of that union, but I am allowed to still hold values that may be different.
Sorry Journal for being a bummer drummer but I�m just having a crisis of conscience. Kaylen is rubbing off on me. There are some dilapidated looking towns here. I don�t know what to do about it? I should probably just go to sleep and wake up happy smiley fun loving Alex who has lots of money and is slowly falling for a girl with issues. I know this seems very clich� but I think it might be happening. Kaylen is just so, just so� I don�t have the word to put in there yet but I think it is in there somewhere..
