�Hey Femi, how are you doing? I just wanted to apologize for the fiasco and��� (pause) At a higher pitch, �Shit, I hate talking to machines so why don�t you call me? You know the number... actually, incase you�ve lost it, it�s 555-9602?�
So, this Tuesday I called him. Yeah I said Tuesday. I wasn�t about to call him sooner and appear pathetic, like I have no life and am desperate. So at about 8:23 I called him (a friend once said you should never call at :00, :15, :30 or :45 past the hour �cos it seems planned). Here�s how the call went down.
As I dialed the number, my heart was pounding so hard that I was SURE it was going to leap out of my chest. My fingers were shaking as I dialed the number and guess what? I got the answering machine. So knowing that he owns a caller id box and hanging up would appear rather terrible, I left a message. It went like this:
� �Sup Tommy. I got your message. I�ll talk to you later.� Short and sweet. You�re damn right I had to sound busy.
Anywayz, Wednesday I was flipping between �Felicity� and �The West Wing� while munching on some tortilla chips when my phone rang. Tommy�s name showed up on the caller id, so I took a deep breath and picked it up.
�Hello�� I said in the most casual of voices.
�Hi. Femi?�
�Speaking. And you are�?��
He chuckled, �Unless you�ve changed your phone, I know you have caller id so I know for a fact you know who this is.�
Like I was just gonna give up so easily, �Whatever. I don�t have all day. Who�s speaking?��
�I guess you just love fighting but I�m done with that shit. You win, it�s Tommy Njuguna.�
You got that right, buster. I win. �Hello Tommy, how are you doing��
�I�m o.k. I just wanted to apologize for what went down at the restaurant.�
Since it seemed to be working for me, I decided to feign ignorance. �Sorry? Something happened? When?��
He sighed. He appeared to be getting a little frustrated. My master plan was working. Yippee! �You know, when I came in with my girlfriend, I think I might have said something to hurt my feelings.�
�Trust me, Tommy, you could never hurt my feelings, you really don�t matter that much to me.?
I guess he REALLY didn�t want to argue �cos he said, �Good. Just incase I hurt your feelings because I know some sensitive people might have been offended by what I said, I apologize. So���
I interrupted him, �Like I said, I wasn�t offended but if you know that you say hurtful things that might offend sensitive people --a group I don�t belong to-- why do you say such things? You think it is o.k. to be spiteful and that apologizing after the fact would make the hurt disappear? Isn�t it better to police yourself beforehand?�� Dang, I think I should join the ministry -the preacher in me rears its pious head from time to time.
�I thought you weren�t offended?�
�I�m not.�
�So why do you sound--��
�Gosh!� I was rather pissed. �If that�s the only reason you called, apology accepted. By--�
It was his turn to interrupt. ��So what are you doing tonight?��
I was ready to hang up the phone. �Nothing. You know how dead this town can get. Hey, Tommy thanks for--��
�Look out of your window.�
�God what now? Some stars? You know I don�t give a shit about crap like that.�
�It�s not stars. I promise. Look out,� he pleaded.
So I went to window, drew back my curtain and guess who was standing at my doorstep?!? I was in shock.
�Femi, are you still there�?�
�What da fuck are you doing outside my house? I accept your freaking apology!!! Be gone!�
He was laughing. �It�s kinda cold out here, let me in.�
�Did I ask you to be out in the cold?�
�Hey, just let me in.�
Let�s keep it real. I am still strangely attracted to this Tommy character so in more than a few ways I was excited that he was at my doorstep. I opened the door and there Tommy stood in all his glory -sexier than any words in Webster�s dictionary could possibly begin to describe. Before I knew it, I went out for �drinks� with Tommy. A couple of hours later, I found myself in Tommy�s apartment, one thing led to another and at 1:37 Thursday morning, I looked down to the foot of Tommy�s bed and there lay an empty condom wrapper. NOW LISTEN. I have an excuse -I WAS OVULATING!!!!! You know how that time is for us ladies� and don�t tell me anything about his girlfriend �cos I don�t know her. Which means I don�t owe her ANYTHING, plus that is Tommy�s business. Plus I think they might be over because as I was getting dressed, Tommy got out of the bed, hugged and kissed me and said, �Lord, that was great.�
I smiled and rolled my eyes. He touched my chin and directed my eyes to his, �I am serious,� he said, ��This,� he pointed to both of us, �has made me realize that I really miss you and I think you are--��
I stopped him before he could say too much, �Tommy, please let�s not make this bigger than it has to be. You have a girlfriend and what did you say last time? I put my finger on my forehead, leaned on my left foot and animatedly said � �The one that makes life work living.��� I paused for a minute, � It was a mistake,� I concluded.
�Listen Femi, it doesn�t have to be a mistake. I still have feelings for you and I know you have some for me. Let�s not pretend--��
I was really freaking out. I decided that it wasn�t that important to be fully dressed when one left the house at 2am. So I fled. As I shut the door, I shouted, �I�ll talk to you later.�
Nonetheless the rest of the week at work (yeah, started working at Starbucks) I messed up a few orders. Tommy left messages on Thursday evening and yesterday so I�m thinking of returning his call today. Keep your fingers crossed for us. Funny how I said �us.� I must really be losing it.
Femi, 8:34am, Sunday, May 12, 2002
