Now let me tell you about Taiwo�s girl. Previously I had gossiped with Taiwo about my Dad�s reaction to Duc Van/Charles and he chuckled saying that Dad would be happy with his choice because not only is she Nigerian, she�s Yoruba (Dad�s ethnic group) too. Of course I had told Mum �she couldn�t care less and Dad �he was delighted.
Once again, the doorbell rang, I answered it and there standing at the other side of it were Taiwo and his girlfriend. O.K I know that I�m not all that and neither is Taiwo but come on! This female was literally tore up from the floor up! She�s medium skin toned, medium height �around 5�6/5�7, skinnier than Ally McBeal, I am so serious� she looked like one of those people featured in the �10 cents a day� ads, her dreads were fat and chunky, and her face looked like the result of a botched up plastic surgery experiment. Goodness! I couldn�t wait to see my Dad�s reaction so I ran ahead of them to avoid missing a single second of the expected drama unfolding.
I sat down on the couch and just stared at my father. To my surprise, he didn�t flinch. Instead, I saw my mother�s eyes grow to the size of saucers. Hahaha. Kehinde just shook her head. I think she was relieved that my parents would now have someone else to bug. I didn�t learn much about her at dinner because she didn�t talk much � Taiwo like every arrogant man was her mouthpiece. When she spoke she sounded like an American so I guess she�s as Yoruba as us kids.
Later that evening while Kehinde and Leticia (yeah, that�s her name) were out getting something, my Mother (yeah I know, wrong parent) sat Taiwo down and said her piece.
�So that�s your girlfriend?� Duh, Mother. Taiwo nodded his head. �How old is she?�
�She�s 23.� Taiwo is 25.
�Only?� Hahahahahahahaha. I know she DIDN�T.
�And where did you say you met again?�
�At a party.� Taiwo was getting bored. �Mom, if there�s something you want to ask could you just come out with it? I don�t have all day.�
My mom looked hurt and you know she was faking it. �What? Do I have to have an agenda? Can�t I talk to my son? It�s been a while since you were home.� There she goes again, trying to lay a guilt trip.
�Mom, you saw me on Mother�s day. It wasn�t that long ago.�
Pause. �So what�s her name again? Lest��
�Leticia.�
�So you met her at a party? Where there other women there?� No, I know she isn�t going there.
�It wasn�t a gay party. Or a bachelor�s party and she was the stripper� Let me break it to you brother, highly unlikely! �Of course there were other women there.�
�And she was the one you picked? No prettier ones?� HAHAHAHA She WENT there.
Taiwo�s eyes went red � a sign that he was really mad. �What did you say?� he shouted.
My mother�s voice became a whisper. �I was just wondering. There�s no need to be angry. Can�t a mother ask a simple question?�
Taiwo sent her a very deadly piercing look and said "And you wonder why I don't come home more often." OUCH Mother. That must have hurt.
Then he walked out. From my few years on earth I can tell you that it is not advisable to talk to Taiwo when he is in that mood so I decided to leave him alone to cool off. He waited for her on the porch and when she and Kehinde returned, they drove off.
The minute he walked out my father said, � Femi, that�s dada (dreadlocks) right?�
�Yes Daddy.�
�But it�s not the one people are born with?� I shook my head. �Thank God!� He said as he let out a sigh of relief. I can always trust my Dad to provide comic relief.
The rest of the week was cool. I got a call from the job I applied for and I was told that I pretty much have it. I just have to go to the office this week for some discussions. YIPPEE!!!! What else� yeah, I met someone. I�ll tell you all about it next week.
Femi, Sunday 4:30pm June 23, 2002
