March 20, 2004

 

Ulisa walked into the bedroom where I had fallen asleep in the rocking chair that I had barrowed, with my daughter in my lap  Ulisa walked over slowly and put a hand on her shoulder, "Selena?' groaning a bit I looked to her

"sorry to wake you up," she broke out in a huge grin

"Is he?"

"He's awake getting up I laid Darcy in her bed, and said that I wanted her to sleep more right now

and headed to my son

Ulisa backed to the wall, knowing too well the speed of a mother determined to see her child

Throwing open the door I could hear the screams of Elliot filling the hall, I quickened my pace, Almost running into Buddi. "Sorry Buddi," Buddi backed up quickly, "it's okay..." he now followed her! "I wanna see him too

I nodded was in almost a run by now and rushed into sickbay and beside Grubbi begging to let me hold him Buddi stuck his head in too. "C'mon let her hold him, Grubbi!"

Not waiting for an answer I just snatched the toddler up and held him close kissing him all over his face, As he continued to wail Buddi grinned and walked in, staying back to tell them enjoy the moment but anxious to see the cub himself. I gave this if anyone dared touch him I'll kill look to everyone Buddi held his palms up, "relax...I just wanna see him"

"Sorry Buddi,"

Buddi merely nodded, "you think Ursa hasn't given the others looks like that?" He grinned

I bet she has, She's a Mamma isn't she?

Buddi nodded, "Usually after I was really sick." He turned to Grubbi, "So is Chace okay, now?"

"I think so, but I want him here for a little longer to just keep an eye on him." I nodded and went back to talking to my son.

as well as calming him Buddi crept closer, keeping his distance but still getitng close enough to smile at the cub

"Di?" Chace said looking at Buddi and grinned

Buddi smiled and looked at Selena, to see if he could touch him, if not hold him

"Yeah you can hold him Buddi, I just want you to sit with him though for right now."

Buddi nodded and sat down immediately

I handed the toddler to him, but staying close

buddi grinned at Chace, who seemed happy enough to see him sure gave us a scare didn't he Buddi? Ursa said from behind Buddi turned, "Uh huh." to Chace, he hugged him and said "Don't you _ever_ do that to me again! I had to smile at Buddi's comment, "Buddi, in a couple weeks I'm going to be taking a trip with Darcy for a few weeks, A month actually, I have someone eles watching the others but Chace is happier with you I was wondering if you'd like to watch him through that time  Buddi blinked and turned to Ursa, "Can I, Mama?"

"That's up to you Buddi, but this time you'll also have to train, and such as well. And your soley responsible for him.' Buddi nodded, "Okay..." to Selena, he beamed like nothing else, "yes!"

"Alright then, It's settled then I'll bring him to you in about two weeks

Buddi beamed widely and hugged Chace again, then handing him back to Selena, he embraced Ursa what’s that for Buddi?"

Thanks. I can do this mama,

I know you can."

Buddi pulled away and then, jumping onto the bed, he leapt into Grubbi's arms and kissed his cheek, hugging him like a leech.

"what’s this about Buddi?

Buddi looked at him, "For not letting him die." He grinned a very Ursa-like grin, "cause then I woulda had to kill you....PawPaw." he gave Grubbi a classic look, even letting his ears drop

Grubbi smiled at him, "You really like that kid don't you?

He nodded, "Yeah” Grubbi smiled I then spoke to Buddi, with Chace falling back to sleep, "You know Buddi you have all right over him, when he's here, I trust you enough to correct him when he does wrong as well,” Buddi blinked, "what?  Say that in common..:

"What she means Buddi if Chace's is doing something that is wrong, and you see him doing it you can spank him she trusts you with that

Buddi jumped out of Grubbi's arms and picked Chace up again, "I don't wanna do TAHT

"That’s fine, but if you feel that its needed you have that you can Buddi just nodded and glared at Grubbi, holding Chace with a "touch him and die" look I had to laugh, "Alright Buddi, I see you've taken on my protective side as well Ursa said Buddi merely fixed her with the same glare

"were not going to do anything" she told him

Buddi just nodded and set the baby down and said with a look almost identical to Ursa's "You better not"

I had to laugh, "You know Ursa, if I didn't know better, I would think you had a twin

Buddi just made a face, "I don't act like _her_!

"Buddi look in the mirror while  you make that face

I told him

Buddi bliked at her curious and then screamed, "Oh sweet Gum, Mama, I'm turning into you!

the group had started laughing hard when Darcy walked into the room.

She stopped dead in her tracks, and stayed right where she stood afraid to come in.

Buddi ran to Grubbi, "I'm sick, I know I'm sick."

Ulisa gestured her in

Darcy shook her head no,

Ulisa looked to Selena

as Grubbi that Buddi had nothing that he couldn't stop all the kid had to do was bend so he could smack is backside a few jokingly buddi ran back to Ursa, hiding behind her, "forget that!"

I called to my daughter, and told her that Chace was going to be aright, he's alive." She still shook her head no, then took off running back to her room.

"Buddi would you stay with Chace a minute?"

Buddi turned all serious and nodded, scooping the baby up

I took off after my daughter trying to talk to her. She just cried and screamed about how everyone should hate her.

"Darlita Rose stop it! We don't hate you and you've been punished for what happened, and you said you had no control over what happened," I told her. She just took off running into the woods. I sighed and turned hearing Ulisa walking up behind me. "I can't get her to understand that

I forgave her from the start

Ulisa sighed and said, "come on..." she led the wall into the woods, dragging her behind

"I followed seeing my daughter sitting by a rock just shaking as hard as she could

as well as sobbing, I walked over to her, "Go away!" She cried

"Leave me here to rot! I deserve it!"

Ulisa yanked the girl up, "No you don't. We've forgiven you. You want to help Chace and your mother, don;t you?"

"Yes, but look at what I did! There's no way I can look at him!"

"Darcy, I want you to stop beating yourself up over this" I told her, "I mean if you were under that spell then you had no control over what happened." I told her

ulisa nodded, "Forgive yourself Darcy...that's why your mother wants you to d

"I can't! Look at all the trouble that I caused look at what i did to him, Yes he's alive, But I almost killed him

Ulisa didn't like to bring up her past but she saw no other way in this situation, "You wanna compare bad deeds, I'll bury ya."

"No but I can't help thinking of all that I did." After thinking a moment, I asked Ulisa to just stay with her a minute, I had an idea.

Ulisa nodded and sat down by Darcy. "That what I was like afterwards. The guilt's horrible...like some horrible acid in you, isn't it?"

Darcy nodded the tears threatening again

"You want that pain to stop?"

"yes I do, But how?"

forgive yourself. you can't change the past only learn from it. Dwelling on it will just make it worse

"That spell made me do all those things, I could have stopped it though by not feeding it what it needed

so were you in control? did you say to yourself, let me throw Chace and kill him?

"No I didn't but I did feed the spell with all those books I stole,

And it lead to that

did you know it would build up to _this?_

"I new it could but I didn't think a little bit of it would do so much

so you thought the little bit you were doing wouldn't lead to much?

"Yes, But I see it did, But its like I crave the books at times, not all the time but just sometimes."

that's because they're like a drug with that spell Darcy...your mother and I will help you resist the temptations and we;ll work with you until the spell is gone from you

"I'm back." I called I had Chace who was wide awake in my arms as I walked over.

"Chace look here, It's Darcy." I told him putting him on the ground and watched him walk right over to Darcy and ask to be picked up,

"Dar, I think he forgives you as well." I told her sitting the baby in her lap

Ulisa nodded in agreement

Ulisa, could you see that my other children make it to Rainbowland? I'm going to be taking that trip with Darcy a little earlyer than planned, Grubbi wants to keep and eye on Chace anyways so I figured that I would do it now instead. I think it would be best to go ahead and start the trip now and rebuild what she thinks is lost."

Ulisa nodded, "sure...not a problem

"Thanks. Now Darcy I'm going to trust you to go get yourself a few extra peaces of clothing and a blanket or two and meet me back in Sickbay

"Ans would you let the other children know that Chace is fine and I'm working with their sister?"

Ulisa smiled and walked off to do as asked'

Darcy did the same.

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