February 19, 2004

 

“STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE! DON’T TOUCH ME! GET AWAY!”

“Cubbi, come on wake up,” Plucki’s voice had concern in it at this point. The kid had woken him in the middle of the night just screaming and crying… how long he wasn’t sure, but every time he got near the kid, he started to get torn up.  Plucki called to the kid again.

“Cubbi wake up, it’s just a dream.” At that point, Cubbi’s eyes opened and he was trembling and crying. He turned his back away from his captain, not wanting to show weakness.

“Cubbi… tell me what happened.”

“I can’t” He said as he laid back down and closed his eyes; Plucki cracked the door to both rooms open so that he could hear if he needed to.

 

“Cubbi what’s wrong?”

"Nothin' Plucki"

 “It's not 'nothing' when you're throwing a book and cursing yourself out. I can hear you down the halls”

Cubbi just pouted and turned his back, not wanting to again show the weakness. Seeing this, Plucki went over to him and sat, pulling the kid on his lap and told him to tell him.

"Nothing...Maci was just calling me names”

“What did he call you?”

“Said I was the "baby" reader...said he didn't understand how come I was nine and he can read better than me…"

“Don't worry about what Maci says. I think you read better then any of the others”

“But I don't...I'm slow Plucki...my teacher even told me that...I'm supposed to be at level 8 and I'm at level 11."

"I don't care what they say. I say you read pretty well." Plucki picked up the book, and told Cubbi "I want you to read to me."

It's a type of I CAN READ book. Cubbi stared at it a moment and said, "I can't...the words are too hard…"

"Just to me, here I'll shut the door and that way it's just the two of us… show me."

Cubbi just burst into tears and threw the book down,

"They're too hard Plucki! I can't even read THAT!"

 “Hey now, that's enough, come here a minute, leave the book though." Cubbi slowly came over. "You're not in trouble, sit here on my lap for a moment” he walked over closer, tears running down his face but he complied. Plucki just rocked him for a minute and talked soothingly, "You think I'd lie to you about what I think about how you do with things?"

“But when we read in school...it takes the pages only about fifteen minutes and it takes me almost an hour”

“That doesn't mean anything”

 “Yeah it does...it means I'm slow and everyone knows it”

“The ones who rush into things are the ones who usually get burned first; the ones who take their time and think about things save their tails”

 “But...I'm not slow because I take my time...I'm slow because I have trouble piecing the letters together...Plucki, sometimes I have to think to spell my own name! You can't tell me _that's_ right”

“Would you like to shock those other ones to death?"

 Cubbi looked up.

 “I'm going to do something I wouldn't do for anyone else, is that understood? I'm going to have Gumlittle take over for a few weeks and you and I are going to go on a little camping trip”

Cubbi blinked, "Why?"

 "I want you to bring your favorite books with you; the ones that you have me read to you."

Cubbi just blinked but nodded

 "And you and I are going to have you reading the way you want to, and it will only work if you want to; I'm going to have the others watch after Elliot while we do this, and we're going to be gone for a month and a half, and through that time you won't be in school and will not have to make that up."

Cubbi said, "Why are you doing this for me?"

"I've been thinking about doing this for a while now, and have already talked to the teacher so you're excused; we leave in two days."

“'Cause I want to” Cubbi blinked but nodded,

"Yer gonna leave Elliot to the others?"

"Yes I am… so it's just you and me for that time being but for right now follow me a minute“, Cubbi got up, wiping at his eyes but followed. Plucki opened the door to a spare room and led Cubbi into it, the same one that Blastus used with Maci.  Cubbi looked around and just blinked at Plucki. 

“I know you're going to feel odd but I want you to take all that off of you and lay face down on the table for me; I'm going to help you relax” Cubbi turned blood red and clutched his clothes

“Its alright, I'm just going to help you relax so you feel better. If you want, I can help you” Plucki'd already set out the oil. The cub looked around, as if to make sure they were alone

“It's just me with you; I'm not going to let anyone in here while we're here; they're not permitted” Cubbi slowly started to peel the clothing off but he was blood red

 “Once you get that done, lay up here on your belly” Cubbi just took his shirt off, and looked at Plucki, blood red

“What? You don't have anything I haven't seen before; take those off too” He said, pointing to his pants. Cubbi just blushed deeper at that but not about to disobey his captain, complied.

“Get up there." Cubbi climbs up, lying on his belly, still not sure what this is about.

“Good boy." Cubbi looked at the oils and gave Plucki a questioning look. Plucki poured some of the heated oil onto the cub's shoulders as Plucki told him to just relax and Cubbi said,

 "Yer oiling me like a fish” as Plucki just started working the oil into the skin and fur, starting with his neck and going to his shoulders. Cubbi relaxed a smidge, mainly out of curiosity.

“That's it Cubbi; just relax I'm not going to hurt you."  The cub nodded, laying his head down.

“Think of pleasant thoughts, things you enjoy, things that you dream of… anything at all." Cubbi sighed and closed his eyes, trying to comply.

 “That's my boy.” Plucki moved more into the middle of Cubbi's back, finding that Cubbi's sweet spot was in the arch of his back so he sighed contently. Plucki's hands were gently kneading the skin and fur.

"Good boy, that's it," Plucki started to hum a soft tune; Cubbi's ears twitched, moving to catch the sound as Plucki moved more downwards to his lower back and to his thighs.

 Cubbi said, half asleep, "What's that tune?"

“Something I sang to my son”

 “Yer singing it to me?” Plucki moved to the cub's legs.

"Yes, I am."

"Why?"

"I care a lot about you Cubbi; that's why."

"But...I'm your squire...that's it."

 "But I look at you like a son, Cubbi."

 "Why? What makes you look at me that way?"

"I don't know Cubbi but I do. Maybe it's actually love."

Cubbi doesn't say anything else, stunned silent.

"Cubbi I want a son that's just like you someday if that would happen." Cubbi's throat clogged and tears slowly slid out of his closed eyes. Plucki stopped and headed to Cubbi's head and told him to open his eyes and look at him. Cubbi did that, tears sliding down his face.

"Cubbi, I was going to wait until this trip to ask you but I think I'll do it now; if you would take the offer let me be your father; let me be Daddy to you."

Cubbi blinked, "You're not like Papa..."

“What? What did you say?” Cubbi said, tears running down his cheeks, "Why would you want me?"

 "What do you mean I'm not like Papa? Cubbi, come here and tell me about Papa.”

Cubbi's face paled, significantly.

 “It's alright; trust me anything you say in here is between us, no one else will hear.”

“Papa swore...I can't tell...Papa said..."

"Cubbi those things that you spoke about… did he do those?”

"On a good day"

“Tell me, son I'll help you I'll keep you safe from him, he's not going to touch you”

“Promise?”

Plucki nodded, and asked, “I Promise if he even comes near you I'll kill him. What would happen on a bad day?”

“The iron stick”

 “What he do with the iron stick?”

Cubbi pushed aside some fur on his chest, showing old bruises and cuts that never healed. "I was bad...he punished'

 “OH SHIT! He did that to you? Oh Cubbi, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you.”

 "Papa said...you ever tell anyone...I'll...cut your head off, you little shit."

Plucki held the cub closer to him and had tears in his own eyes.

“He said that?” Cubbi nodded.

“You know if that guy ever tries to lay a hand on you, I'll kill him. I'll give him a very slow and painful death for doing that to you; no one hurts my boy and gets away with it. Tell Daddy more. Let me help you out”

"Papa made sure I knew it too...one time...he pushed me into a dark closet, walked around me...with an ax....swung at me, missed each time....nicked me though...said if I ever told, he'd connect with my neck...that...that's why I'm afraid of the dark...I couldn't see him...couldn't run...dodge..”. Plucki held him close. Cubbi was shaking; He rubbed a little scar by his ear and Plucki said that he was sorry he wasn't there and Daddy was going to make everything better now.  Plucki brushed the scar gently with his finger tips and Cubbi just said, "That was the worst but papa had ...other ways."

Then, Plucki started rubbing the child's sweet spot to comfort him. “What were the other ways?" Cubbi laid on Plucki's chest and said, "One...day...I was just outta diapers...I wet my pants...Papa beat me with that iron stick for hours....I was pleading with him and he just screamed "bad little boys wet their pants, yer bad you little shit, why didn't you die instead of yer mother?"

"He did what?"

 Cubbi just nodded, tears rolling down his face and he buried his face in Plucki's chest.

"It's alright, son, just cry it out, I bet you haven't done that before have you?"

"Papa hit for it...called tears bad, said I was bad for crying."

"No, you're not bad for it; in fact I want you to do it. In fact you're not bad at all."

Cubbi sobbed, wailing, "The fire...Papa threw me in the fire..."

"The son of a bitch did what? Cubbi where does he live? I want to know so I can go kill him right now!"

 "He left...left when I was four...I dunno where he is."

"Okay then he's barely escaped; Cubbi if anyone ever messes with you again I want you to come straight to me and tell me. I don't care where you are, or what you're doing or even how old you are, alright?"

Cubbi blinked but nodded, "I don't know what I did...he said I killed Mama."

 "You did nothing to him. I think the world's a better place with you around; you make my life complete."

 "How can you say that...I'm a murderer...I killed Mama."

"No, you're not; Cubbi I don't know if you noticed that I've made my life around you in the last year. From the second that I saw you I said: that's the son I want-- spunky, loving, kind, and beautiful. I wanted that and you have everything I want. Cubbi you gave me my life back."

Cubbi looked at Plucki and flung his arms around his neck and started sobbing his eyes out.

"It's alright son; Cubbi look at me a second though.”

Cubbi looked up. “Cubbi I love you more than anything else in this world. I would give up everything for you and I mean everything. I would even give up being captain if I had to.”

Cubbi let the tears run down his face.

 “And nothing will change it, do you accept the offer that I gave to you will you give me the honor of letting me call you my son? You're the treasure that I've been looking for”

Cubbi nodded, "Yes...yes..."

“Come here and let those tears just fall as you want them to; I'll sit right here until you're done.” Cubbi burst into tears and started sobbing hysterically.

“Just do that, my Son,” he said gently and kissed the child's cheek. Cubbi cried and cried until it looked like he'll make himself sick.

“Just let it go. Release everything… don't hold it back. If you need to get sick just do it, if it helps."

The cub howled, in tears and eventually got nauseous and threw up.

"That's alright son, you feel better?"

Cubbi moans, "I'm sorry..."

“That's alright; I told you to do it so that you felt better, you needed to get all that out and I meant what I said Cubbi. I love you like you wouldn't believe. In fact, stay here a minute I'll be right back I have something for you in my room”

“Grammi and the others...they loved me but they weren't parents...more like guardians who were older friends...Grammi let me do anything, Gruffi was too stern…" he cried, openly. "Now I want something in between! Someone to love me...to not be afraid to say it!”

“You've got them, my son; I'm not your guardian or just your captain or mentor anymore. I'm your Daddy, I will always be here and I will not leave you, now I have something that I was going to wait to give you but I want to give it to you now, but I have to go get it, wait here”

 Cubbi nodded.

Plucki came back with a small purple box. Cubbi looked up and opened it for the cub to see it, then took it out. Cubbi blinked, wiping at his wet eyes.

“I got this metal when I was just knighted for the first time; I ran head on into a very bad battle they gave me this for my bravery; I want you to have it to hold onto and keep with you.” Cubbi blinked,

"I can't take that"

“Yes, you can. It's yours; I want you to have it. You're my son. It would be an honor for you to have it” Cubbi looked at Plucki but put it around his neck.

“It makes me proud to see you wear that Cubbi.” Cubbi just blinked at Plucki and the tears came again.

“Come here, little one. I know, I know.”  Cubbi didn't waste time and crawled into his arms, sobbing into his shoulder. Plucki sat with the cub on his lap and took his own shirt off and wrapped it around Cubbi to keep him warm, remembering the kid's present state at the moment. Cubbi just laid against his chest, crying like there was no tomorrow.

After a bit, Plucki slipped a hand onto his sweet spot under his shirt, rubbing that spot telling the cub just to close his eyes and rest as he rocked and hummed that same tune again. Cubbi's sobs slowly began to quiet.

"That's it, my little one. Just rest." Plucki stopped with his back and started smoothing the kid's hair down and kept humming.  Cubbi, after a bit, fell asleep against Plucki's chest.

Plucki picked the kid up gently and headed to his own room, only stopping to tell Gumlittle that he would be taking over for the rest of the night as well as the next assigned days and told him that no one is to bother them. Gumlittle just nodded, although he was a bit bewildered. Plucki took the kid into the room and laid with him so the child was not alone and had a protective arm around him. When he woke again Cubbi blinked, surprised and looked to see who was holding him.

 “Cubbi you sleep well?”

Cubbi blinked again, stunned.

“I hope so; I took the rest of today off just to be with you."

 Cubbi mouthed, "Why?"

“To be with my son. That's why.” Cubbi looked about ready to start crying again. Plucki started rubbing his back again. Cubbi clung to him, snatching him around the neck. Plucki picked the cub up and carried him into the bathroom that's connected with the room and drew really warm water into the tub, and he asked Cubbi if he minded if he gave him a bath now; he has something special that he wants to do with him in a little bit

 "Go ahead."

Plucki put the kid into the warm water and just started smoothing the kid's fur with the cloth for a bit making it damp, not totally wet  Cubbi just closed his eyes, all modesty gone for now. Plucki asked if the kid wanted to stay in here for a moment while he goes gets it.

"You'll come back?"

 "Yes, I just need to go to your room and get you something to wear; if you want you can just stay in the water until I come back."

Cubbi nodded, "Okay...

When Plucki pulled the kid out in the towel; he took him and sat Cubbi on his bed, then went to a trunk and pulled out a soft brush, one that Cubbi had never seen before.

 Cubbi blinked, interested.

 Plucki went over and started running it though the cub's fur.

 Cubbi looked at him, turning his head.

 "Cubbi, this brush once belonged to Aldi. I used to sit and do this with him and I'm going to do the same with you as much as you like and I'll use this one or we can find you your own."

 Cubbi blinked, surprised, and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling.

 "Anytime you want this just tell me I'll do it, I'd be happy to."

 "Promise?"

 "Whatever was good enough for him is good enough for you as well. Yes, I promise."

 Cubbi nodded, "Okay...I like it..."

 After a bit, Plucki put the brush down and asked the cub if he wanted to dress or if he wanted Plucki to do it.

 Cubbi said, "You do it...I...I know I'm acting like a baby but...it feels good."

 "Well you're not acting like a baby; you're acting like MY baby."

 Cubbi smiled faintly...just a bit

 "Now you want to know what the surprise is?"

 Cubbi nodded.

 "We're going to go to the toy shop and get you anything you want and it's going to be as much as you want and I don't care how expensive it is. That's the first thing."

 Cubbi was stunned but nodded.

 "Secondly, we're going to get an all new bed made for you, as well as other furnishings, as well as clothing, and beddings and you get to pick them out."

 Cubbi blinked, "Mean it?"

 "Yep, you get to pick everything."

 Cubbi smiled, a bit brighter.

 "Then we're going to go out to eat wherever you want and after that if you aren't too tired we're going to stop at the candy store and get you as much candy as you want and what ever kind you want then were also going to stop and get ice cream."

 Cubbi finally smiles brightly, widely and grabbed Plucki in a tight hug.

 "Now, the candy you can't eat all in one day though just a bit at a time that's the only thing I ask with that."

 Cubbi nodded, "No problem."

 "Maybe a piece a day or so and I'll tell you right now it's the one time I won't make you share it if you don't want; you tell them its a gift from Daddy."

 Cubbi nodded, and his eyes welled up with tears.

 "You want to walk Cubbi or can I carry you?"

 Cubbi held his arms up in answer.

 "That's what I was hoping for."

 Cubbi smiled in response.

 Plucki and kissed the kid's nose this time and told him again that he loves him and told him again that no one's ever going to bother him again; not as long as Daddy's got air in his lungs and that he wants the child to call him Daddy not Plucki anymore.

 Cubbi cocked his head and said, "Okay...Daddy

 Plucki then told Cubbi that they need to make one special stop before they go do this other stuff and it's for him,

 Cubbi nodded.

 "You want to know when that is?"

 

 Cubbi nodded.

 "To stop at the council and make it official. They'll put it down on paper that you are now my son. If you're sure you want it."

 Cubbi cried briefly and tightened his grip.

 "And I have one more thing when we get back."

 "What?" Cubbi looked at Plucki with curious eyes.

 "That I'll save for last and keep until then you'll see little one."

 Cubbi smirked and pretended to pout but says, "Okay.."

 

 When all is done, Plucki had Cubbi follow him into his office.

 Cubbi followed, clinging to his hand,

 "Don't worry you're not in trouble, Bright Eyes." Plucki pulled a folder out of the files; this one's got Cubbi's name on it.

 Cubbi smiled at the nickname.

 He then took out a second folder, put the cub on his lap and wrote 'Sir Cubbi Kai Gummi, Son of Captain Sir Lithium Plucki Gummi of The Gummadoon Knights.' 

 Cubbi looked up at him.

 "This will be your new file, Bright Eyes.  I'm going to put all new stuff in here. This is where we keep all the stuff that others may need to know if I have to be away."

 Cubbi nodded, "I like that name.."

 "You like Bright Eyes or Sir Cubbi?"

 "Bright Eyes...I dunno why...but I like it."

 "Well, I know why I like it."

 Cubbi blinked, "Why?"

 "Your eyes are the brightest and the most beautiful I have ever seen."

 Cubbi turned red in the cheeks.

 "I mean it, Cubbi."

 Cubbi lowered his head, bright red in the cheeks.

 Plucki set the kid on his desk so he could see his eyes better. "And I want to tell you one more thing son, something that I want you to remember and I want you to understand that I mean it. You're the most special thing and important one in my life and if you need anything I don't want you to hold it in; come get me and tell me. I don't care if I'm in a meeting or training the others… I don't care, you are to come to me and tell me so that we can talk about it, alright?"

Cubbi nodded, wiping at his eyes.

"Now, I mean it and you know what else, Bright Eyes?"

 Cubbi said, "What?"

"I promise you that I'll never leave you and that I will always love you no matter what you do."

Cubbi said, "No matter what I do?"

"And I will always be proud of you; never will I be ashamed to call you my son."

Cubbi said, "Honestly? Never?"

"No matter what. I may whip your hide for something you do but I'll always love you nor leave nor be ashamed."

 Cubbi flung himself at him, tears rolling down his face.

"On my word as Captain I mean every word I just said."

Cubbi nodded into his shoulder.

"Come on now, it's getting late and we have that camping trip and you need to get to bed."

Cubbi looked up and nodded but held his arms up.

"You know what else?"

"What?"

"Would you believe I just let you stay up until midnight, son?"

 Cubbi blinked, "You did?"

"Yes, I did. Look at the clock."

 Cubbi turned and then said, "Then that explains why I'm tired." he held his arms up again.

"I guess so." He picked the cub up and they headed to Plucki's room. Cubbi laid his cheek on his shoulder and closed his eyes and instead of climbing into bed, Plucki just pulled a blanket around Cubbi and started rocking in the rocking chair in the room. Cubbi looked up at him. "Just close your eyes and dream sweet dreams, Love. I'll stay like this until you sleep." Cubbi closed his eyes and tears slipped out briefly as he nuzzled his head into Plucki's shoulder. "Cubbi I know you heard me several times saying this but I'm going to say it again… I love you, my son and I'm proud to have you."

 Cubbi said, "You...thank you Daddy

"For what?"

"No need to thank me."

"For...everything..."

"Just trust in that, my love."

Cubbi just nodded and said softly, "Daddy...a favor?"

"What's that Bright Eyes?"

"Can you sing that tune again?"

 Plucki started the tune again.

Cubbi relaxed significantly and started to drift off.

Plucki then kissed the nose of the cub again

Cubbi's mouth was slightly open and he was completely out of it.

Plucki laid the child on the bed and climbed in himself, rubbing the child's back again getting to that sweet spot telling him to have sweet dreams.

Cubbi rolled over and grabbed Plucki around the waist, burying his face into his belly.

"That's my son; goodnight little one."

 Cubbi smiled faintly in sleep and Plucki continued to rub his back until he himself fell asleep and they stayed like this most of the night until Cubbi woke up, screaming.

"Hey, hey it's all right, Bright Eyes. It's Daddy. Nothing's going to hurt you. I've got you.'

Cubbi clung to him, shaking. "Daddy's got you; nothing's going to happen. You're alright."

"You're safe," Cubbi just buried his face into his chest. "It's alright. Do what you need to." Cubbi started crying. Plucki then took the cub and blanket off the bed and started walking with him, singing that tune again. Cubbi's sobs started to slowly quiet.

“That's my son. Good boy, remember Daddy's right here” He kissed the nose on the child again. Cubbi tightened his grip, sweaty but starting to calm then stopped a minute then pulled a stuffed bear out of the closet and gave it to Cubbi. "I got this earlier today when you weren't looking; I had someone put something special on it. Read what it says. I'll help you if you want me to and you can keep it with you as much as you want, and I want you to know if I'm not near, then this bear will let you know that I'm right here beside you."

Cubbi looked to Plucki for help with the reading. "It says to 'Cubbi with love Daddy' Cubbi hugged it and then kissed Plucki on the cheek.

“You're welcome son,”

“Now let's try some more sleep alright” Cubbi laid his head on Plucki's shoulder and hugged the bear into his chest, closing his eyes. "Remember you're with Daddy and you're safe," Cubbi nodded, his muscles relaxing. Plucki brought the kid's head so that it's right under his chin and Cubbi can feel Plucki's breath on his head. The cub's breathing slowed until it's obvious he's asleep. He laid with the cub once more. Cubbi wrapped one arm around Plucki's waist and clutched the bear with the other "That's alright, son, you just sleep. Daddy will stay right here with you."

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