December
1, 2003
“Morning, Mamma,”
“I take it you slept
well in your new room, Shanda,”
“NO she didn’t she
slept in MY room, along with everyone else that could possibly fit!” Darcy
called out as she walked into the room. I laughed as I picked the smaller one,
up.
“Give it some time,
Darlita, it’s the first time they’ve all slept alone,” She nodded,
“The only one that
didn’t was Tanni, and that’s because she slept with
her pets, and I mean ALL of them!” I that was something that
I would have to see. Cause that girl had tones
of animals, I never knew what was in there anymore. I knew she had just found
an abandoned 3 wolf pups, and was tending to them herself not letting anyone else
near. She always had something new. I just gave up trying to figure all of them
out.
“She
still asleep?” Darcy
nodded. I smiled as Shanda and I both went to her room to see. I opened the
door, she wasn’t sleeping, but holding one of the tiny little pups in her small
hands, it laid there lifeless. Putting Shanda down I told her to go play for a
little while, she nodded and ran. I headed over to my daughter and sat with
her, pulling her close.
“It’s not fair!” She
cried. “Everything I get attached to dies!” Seeing her pain, I pulled her into
my lap,
“I know, Sweetheart,
but you know you tried, and it was beyond anything one of us could do. You did
more for that little pup than most could have. You think there's anything else
you could have done?” Sniffling, she shook her head.
“I thought I could
give it a chance.”
“And you did,
Sweetheart, I hadn’t seen anyone give anything like you gave that pup,” As I
spoke one of the other pups, that were able to, started whining, I picked it up
and held it to her, She looked away.
“Tanjia,
look at this one, you help this one and the other one as well. You helped all
three of them.” I watched as she started to clean things up, putting the pup
back in its box I headed over to her stopping her,
“Tanjia you started raising these animals, you're not going
to stop now, I know your hurting, but that’s no reason to quit. Prove with these other ones that you can do
it! You can help these pups live.” She started to continue,
“Tanjia
Destiny!” Hearing her middle name she froze, I turned her so that she was
looking at me in the eye. “You WILL NOT! Quit and walk out on them, Do you
understand me?” She nodded.
“Tanjia,
Gummies do not give up on the first try, and they do not walk out on some one that
needs them. These is some one that need you,” I took
the child into my lap and held her close to me. And just let her cry.
“I’m sorry I had to
sound so harsh but you needed to hear me out, and I needed to snap you out of
your thought. I couldn’t make you hear me.” I held her close and just rocked
her for a while, right there on that floor. She looked at me,
“Mamma, don’t leave
me, stay right here with me at least for a little bit.” I nodded,
“I won’t leave until
you ask me to.” As soon as she had said that, she had fallen asleep. I knew
that was part of it, she was worn out, from tending to these new animals, and
from working on the other parts of the house. I held her at least for an hour
then picked her up and took her to her bed, and laid her there; tucking her in
making sure she got the sleep she needed. Seeing one of the kittens that she
had taken care of in the same way that she had with the pups, behind me, I
picked it up and put it into the child’s bed with her to soothe her to sleep.