August 14, 2003

 

Boy, that’s something I never want to have to go through again, but I know I will have to. Thankfully not for awhile though. Shanda, Skyla and Kenya most likely will be around the same time period. Then so will Bliss and the twins. But like I said, that won't happen for awhile. Maybe it will be easier then.

Hearing Chase, I got up and walked over to him.

"Oh boy, Chase! Gross!" I said as I looked for a way to pick him up out of the crib.

"When did you learn how to take that off?" I asked him. Chase had managed to take his own diaper off and everything was all over the place.

I hand make the diapers; they all have Velcro on the sides and have long strips across so I never have to worry about grabbing one that’s too small or too big. Last night, it was warm enough I had put him to bed in just in his shirt and diaper. I sighed; he had to have a bath; there was no two ways about it.

"Not funny, Chase Cullen." I scolded as he laughed.

 

 

At breakfast, I was sitting with all the children. Timmy was picking at his fruits that I had put in front of him. I always make sure they all get some at least once throughout the day.

"Timmy, stop playing with that and eat it." He shook his head.

"You’re not going anywhere until you eat that. You didn't eat them yesterday like your supposed to. So today you’re going to.

"But I don't want them."

"I don't care, eat." I then looked at the rest of the children.

"You can all go out now, if you'd like." One by one, they all cleared out.

"Mamma, Kennie didn't eat hers either today or yesterday." Timmy spoke out just as the little girl started to leave the room. I looked over to the spot where she’d been sitting. Sure enough, it was still there. He was right; she didn't them either. 

"Kenya, you get back here and eat that!"

"I going out to play!" She told me. As she started out, I walked over and blocked the door taking her by the arm and led her back to the table.

"You’re going to eat."

"Let me go, nishien!" My hand swung out and connected with her rear. Kenya let out a yelp.

"You listen here young lady, you are not to speak to me that way, again." She nodded and sat back in her seat and I picked her up and set her back in her seat.

"Neither one of you are to leave here until you eat that." Both cubs sat there and crossed their arms stubbornly. I walked out of the room.

"There you go." I had placed both twins on the floor to let them play and move around a bit. I then started on other chores that needed done. I noted Kenya heading out the door,

"I take it you finished eating." She nodded.

"Lets go check then." I told her, walking into the kitchen with her.

"What’s that?" I asked, "Not one of these have been bitten into! Kenya Elsa!  Why did you tell me that you did finish with the fruits?"  She never answered me, just looked to the floor with tears running down her face. I gave her a few very hard swats, then sat her back in her seat again.

"If you get up without eating that again, I'll take this to you." I told her, showing her the wooden spoon. She nodded, as she started picking at her food. I noted that her brother finally ate his.

"Thank you Timmy, go on." He didn't have to be told twice that boy ran out the door, and down the hill. He loved going down there; it’s where he spent most of his free time there. A little too much I think. Tomorrow he was going to stay here, like it or not. He was going to spend time with his siblings instead, or at least spend time around the house instead. I headed back into the living room where the twins were just laughing at each other. It seemed as if they were holding their own little conversations. I thought it was very funny. I turned to where Bliss and Chase were playing. Each child seemed to have someone they were close to. Like Skyla had Kenya, Bliss had Chase, Rei and Scarlet seemed to be the same way, Shanda stuck around Darlita. Timmy seemed to stick to himself a lot. 

"Mumumumumum" I turned to see who was saying that,

"That’s right Chase! Good boy!" Pleased with himself he did it again over and over.

"Mumumumumum" I spun around with him in my arms. He was speaking to me. Hewas saying Mamma; I was on cloud nine because of it.

"Good Boy!" I praised him. I was more than pleased with him. Chase had started talking!

 

 

After about a half day fight with Kennie, she finally headed outside. Not before I told her a fight like the one we had today wasn't going to happen again and that she would just get in big trouble for not obeying.

Shanda came up to me and pointed in the direction of the lake, making some sound that almost sounded like the th sound. Understanding what she meant, I told her to let me get the others and we can make a trip out of it. She grinned but shook her head no. But tugged me to follow.

"We can't leave them here by themselves Baby. We have to take them with us." I told her. She pointed to Darcy who was just sitting on the porch at the moment.

"I don't mind Mamma."

"You sure, Sweetheart? I want you to enjoy yourself."

"I'm sure. They aren't any problem."

"Alright then, I'll take you Shanda, go get your suit." As she took off, I walked over to my oldest daughter, hugging her tight,

"You don't know how proud you make me." She beamed.

"You tell me all the time,"

"I know, but I feel that’s important." She nodded and put her nose back into her book.

They've all been studying a bit every evening after dinner, to Skyla's dismay. She doesn't like it because she has to sit too long. I laughed at her comment, as I reflex back on it. The tug on my shirt gets my attention telling me that she's ready and then she reached up to me. Getting the idea, I picked her up and carried her off.

 

"Shanda come here!" I called as I put my feet into the water. She stopped at the bank.

"Come on Baby" I told her, trying to get her out here. She shook her head. I wondered if the fear had been from the last time we where down here together or something else. I shook it off and called to her again,

"Shanda, come on in." She shook her head as tears began to flow. Seeing her face, I couldn't help it I had to help her I walked over and scooped her up.

"What is it? Why are you so afraid, Angel?" She buried her blue face into my shirt. I just held her. I know there’s more to her than she can tell me. All that she's seen has to be kept to herself. I wish it wasn't that way but it is. She pulled herself into me even more than she had been.

I looked to the skies in prayer for even just a few minutes that Shanda could talk to me, longer would be great but a few minutes would be better than none at all. Just so I could find out what she's keeping hidden so I could help her.

I stood with her in my arms then walked out to the water. Gently, I lowered her in so that her feet were touching she pulled back curling up. I pulled her back, comforting her. Slowly she let her feet touch the water again.

"That’s it, just take your time I've got you." I told her as she let her legs just dangle in for a moment, before pulling back.

"Good girl." I praised, carrying her back to the shore,

"Would you like to play for a little while longer before we head back?" I asked her, she nodded but pulled me to the swings with her. After about an hour on the swing, I told her it was time to head back.

"Skyla, sit down here and eat!" I told her again trying not to get angry.

"No! Don't wanna." She called back from the other room.

"I'm not telling you again! Get over here!" I called to her, my voice rising a bit.

"If you don't get out here right now, you will not be able to play with Cookies tomorrow at all!

"No!" She called back as something made a very loud crash. I ran to see what was going on; Skyla was throwing things to keep me back.

"Skylay Videl Walker! Stop this nonsense right now!" I yelled; my temper was now beyond gone. She backed up farther. I managed to get to her, but not before getting hit with a few things, I grabbed hold of her.

"Just go to bed. Get up and believe me you'll wish you didn't." I told her before putting her on the ladder before heading back into the other room to help the others with their lessons.

 

"Mamma I went out to feed the horses for you and discovered that Skyla's in the rafters again."

"She's what!" I asked Darcy before heading outside, walking into the building I looked up and sure enough my four year old was up there. I never said a word but went and got a ladder climbed up, grabbed her, climbed down and told Darcy to leave us be. Just as I was about to punish her, Skyla stomped on my foot; I let go involuntarily, and she ran. I ran after but not before stopping at an old hickory tree and grabbing a switch from it. I was going to make sure she never acted the way she did tonight again. The switch is for times that the children have acted so bad that I have to get the point across better than any hand or spoon could.

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