* I do physical labor.
* I work at great depths.
* I plunge head first into everything I do.
* I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
* I work in high temperatures.
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
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Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,
The administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
* You do not work 8 hours straight.
* You fall asleep after brief work periods.
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
* You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
* You do not take initiative, you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
* You leave your workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
* You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
* You will retire well before you are 65.
* You are unable to work double shifts.
* You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
* And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management