me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how
it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every
move.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for
me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no
arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my
limbs.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I am
psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this ship and really have nowhere to go
or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean an
award.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular on the
1MC.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save
them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
10. Never introduce me to the people above my paygrade. I have no right to know
anything. As far as anyone else is concerned, I am plankton. When you refer
to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life
and send you straight to that next paygrade.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know
someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so
much taxes on the hefty check you received for being such a good leader.
13. Wait until my annual evaluation and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD
have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living
increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.