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methinks... |
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my old roommate kelli used to talk about verbal diarrhea.
this is not that. i realized i spend a lot of time looking at stuff and thinking about stuff and that my head is getting full of stuff. my plan is to periodically brain-dump here and hope someone might find it mildy interesting. for reals. |
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back home |
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mariachi! |
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tuesday, 6/3/03 2:09pm PDT |
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i'm not positive what the dilly is... there are a lot of crazy people running around, and i think a lot of them are in the mission. i mean, really, why put feathers in your bike helmet? why stand next to your car in the heat for 25 minutes (and counting)?
and then there are the crazies who aren't in the mission. like the governor of minnesota. the new gun laws are CRAZY.
the thing with crazy is that you think you can take it and then you realize how much of it has piled up and you're like, um, i can't take it. now THAT was fuckin profound.
we have a little countdown going - three days until JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. for free. and we have an extra ticket. we are now accepting applications.
okay, back to work before the maybe intern shows up. |
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off the matrix |
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sunday, 6/1/03 10:19pm PDT |
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so my attempts at being a regular updater have failed... blame too many hours at work, blame impatience with geocities, blame the fantastically delicious bay area weather... whatever it is, it's been two weeks. two and a half even. oh wellsies.
i just saw the matrix: reloaded again. yes, the first time i thought it was forced and too obvious. but the second time just made me think it was just a thing of beauty. i'm in the fucking matrix. i get it. i've been watching too many psycho thriller things lately though - there's only so much i-live-in-a-pod cinema i can take. i miss contact with real humans. i guess i've been remedying that a little lately as well. but in a regressive way. i think it'll work out though.
i've been reading books, mostly because i spend over an hour in transit three days a week. i'm stuck on an over 900 pager right now, America in the King years. it's riveting. but heavy.
is anyone reading this? given my track record with these journal things, probably not. but isssokay.
in other news, arvin is a rock star - literally. i think he's eating his rocks. for such a cute frog (the cutest, even), i don't think he's very smart. i mean, i'd much rather eat crickets than purple rocks. still, i think he'll be alright.
in closing, i'd like to express my love for humans. i would like to see more living, breathing, feeling humans running around. fuck robots. posse out. |
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gay rat boy is a daddy! |
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wednesday, 5/14/03 10:17pm PDT |
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the end of an era... and i promise this will be the last faux-deep entry for a while. anyway. dawson ended tonight. i have no soulmate. i was very upset about this, crying, in fact, until the very wise shana lee reminded me that stupid joey potter is the only person our age in the whole world who has one. so i feel better. do you remember what it was like to be in high school? did you have someone who challenged you to do things that were out of your comfort zone? things beyond calling some boy you have a crush on, things like talking to the press and standing up to your assistant principal. i sure didn't. i am amazed by my youth daily. as frustrated as they make me, i am so happy that they are getting the experience of having their opinions and voices heard and valued. i wish it were more effective, but i have to start somewhere. i still have no soulmate, but i have a little bit of purpose, which is pretty good too. |
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hands |
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wednesday, 5/14/03 1:14am PDT |
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i wrote this on the train:
so there was this girl. this one-time-cool-girl girl. and she spent days and minutes wrapped up so deep in stuff that didn't matter. and there was this one day in july that she realized that none of that stuff really mattered. normally, the details about that day would have filed themselves in her already-too-full brain and cause clutter. but on that july day, all those details and the details of the days that came before that july day just started to float. and then came vivid dreams and sharp analyses and strong opinions. and she never said "i don't care" ever again because, contrary to immediate understanding, she had the time and space and will to care about everything. and then she realized more. that july day, when everything began to float, only happened because someone else had let go. there had been hands that had held her thoughts and wonders and cares together. more than one hand, but never more than one at a time and it was never hers. and on that july day, she gave herself permission to give those hands permission to let go. and everything that floated went somewhere else, away from her and away from the hands that held them. including her. she found her little piece of freedom and there weren't any hands there but her own.
i'm not sleeping yet. |
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tuesday, 5/13/03 6:04pm PDT |
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fidel |
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at the exact moment that Celia Cruz entered my head from my spanky just-for-BART-but-being-used-at-work, fidel walked past my window. as in castro. i didn't know he was kickin' it mission-style these days. not only was he sportin' the super-beard, but he was rockin' the tevas-and-socks. smooooth. i'm also contemplating the purchase of a denim jacket. i've never owned one. shanalee says i'm all about keeping up on the styles of the day, and i agree. if you would like to give me your opinion on the denim-on-denim debate, i would like to hear it. i could also use a car, but that's more of a long-term thing. and my favorite new-cuba-traveller has returned and is on my phone... holla! |
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monday, 5/12/03 12:39am PDT |
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it's blowin you and me |
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i've been on this strange kick lately where I see movies in the theater more than once. Not since Chicken Run (a record 6 times! woo!) has this happened and then all of a sudden we get Amandla and A Mighty Wind and Talk to Her all at once. the worst part is that I know I'm gonna end up buying the damn movies too so I'm really spending like $50 on one movie. I don't think our budget can really accommodate that. Hm. It's already Monday, too much excitement this weekend (YANNI!!!) and I can't see myself going to sleep anytime soon. No regrets. |
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window musing |
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friday, 5/9/03 4:19pm PDT |
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i just ate a killer quesadilla. there was very little activity at Cyclops Tatoos today, only one guy who was already full of piercings stopped in and i don't think he actually got inked, but he could have been at a station away from the window. it's nice to be here. just nice. valencia is a very active street and all of the cars and people and buses kind of keep you from noticing all of the stuff that isn't moving here. there are buildings that look like the mission used to look. and roofs made out of terra cotta. and every so often, someone walks by with a guitar. |
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