I found myself complaining to God, "But I have been waiting for so long! I really need direction now, Lord. Are you sure you want me to wait some more?"
I'd already waited--patiently, I thought--for six or seven months for an answer that I thought I needed then when I first surrendered the situation to God.
Long ago, I had committed to memory Isaiah 26:3 "Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trusteth in thee." I trusted God and had experienced that perfect peace, but I had been waiting for so long! I didn't seem to be going anywhere, just spinning my wheels and making ruts.
Well, maybe my peace wasn't perfect. Did that mean I didn't trust God completely? Did it mean that my mind wasn't "stayed on Him," and that maybe it had drifted and was "stayed" on my problem instead? In that case, I needed reassurance. I needed my strength renewed, and the best place I knew of to look for "revival" was God's Word.
Turning the pages of my much-marked Bible, I stopped at Psalm 27:14 again. According to the date recorded in the margin, I had passed that way nearly a year ago and set up a road sign for future walks that way. "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord." I had also cross-referenced it to Isaish 40:31, "They that wait upon the Lord shall mount up with wings as the eagle; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
It is really fantastic (fascinating to say the least!) how the Word can speak to our hearts--just what we need, when we need it! My daily devotions for several days had been in Numbers, and I had grossly underestimated that book's ability to minister to me.
As I read Numbers 9, the very familiar account of the Lord's traveling directions began to unfold. God instructed Israel to "rest in their tents" as long as the cloud abode upon the tabernacle. Now, I had been acquainted with that story since childhood; but suddenly it exploded in my mind and spirit. When the cloud lingered upon the tabernacle, the children of Israel "kept the charge of the Lord and journeyed not."
The explosion in my mind and spirit began to settle and take form. I could see my house nestled in a fleecy white cloud, saying to me "keep the charge of the Lord and journey not." In other words, "Keep on waiting until the cloud is taken up, then follow me as the cloud moves."
I must not resume my "journey" (or make any major moves) until the Lord says so, lest I go on my own and lose my way. Thus, my prayer changed to "Lead on, Lord, or I stay whether it be 'two days or a month or a year' as you told the children of Israel. As I stay, you are designing a tapestry for me while I wait that I can use in my next 'tent of waiting.' Either way, I'll be with You--that cloud represents your presence; and as long as it 'tarries' here, I'll be content to rest in my tent.
