If I were a squirrel, I'd frolic in the grass,
I'd climb up all the <Am>chestnut trees and I'd slide down on my hands and knees.
If I were a salmon, I would swim just beneath the ice,
And when the girls came skating past, oooh . . . wouldn't it be nice?

Chorus:
But I am just a lonely boy and I must walk alone,
I long to have a little girl that I can call my own.
I long to hold her loving hand in mine, long to see her lovely face,
Long to kiss two lips as red as wine and feel her soft embrace.

Yes, I am just a lonely boy and I must walk alone,
I long to have a little girl that I can call my own.
I long to hold her loving hand in mine, long to see her lovely face,
Long to kiss two lips as red as wine and feel her soft em-<Am>brace.

If I were a pigeon, every day I'd fly
Around to see my mother-in-law, and I'd -- pffft -- right in her eye.
But I'm just an un-lucky lad, so un-lucky it has often been said,
If I were Sophia Loren's baby boy, oooh . . . I'd be bottle-fed.

<Chorus>