We strive to deliver the best possible service that we can. This includes helpful customer service, zero waiting time, and a 100% money back guarantee. We may have only been around for a couple of days, but you can sleep safe knowing that we have your life in our hands.
We sell seizures to anyone dumb enough to buy one. This usually is people that aren't prone to seizures, and just want a good laugh. We are currently avoiding advertising our website to anyone. After all, it would be best for our company if no one found out about it.
Our seizures are the best on the market, mostly because no other company has a big enough death wish to sell something that no one really wants. Furthermore, unlike many other services, all of the money that we get is profit. This occurs because we don't have to spend any money to produce the product.
To increase our sales and business, we are making sure that we don't let anyone prone to seizures onto our website. Some may say that this would lower our sales, but we respectfully disagree. If anyone with a seizure got on, we would be sued for everything that we own and probably put in jail. We aren't able to sell anything if we don't have any money, or a company.