Please Hate Me
Author's Notes: Yes, this is a Brad x Schu fic, but it's not a Brad x Schu fic. Confused? Good. There is, however, hints of Farf x Schu. Cause we all know the resident psychopath likes German telepaths. ^_^ I wrote this cause I was bored, and I've got writers block when it comes to my Farf x Schu fic: Loves Games. I had no trouble writing this...for some reason.
Oh, this is more angst than it is romance. All mushy, fluffy BxS lovers will have to go somewhere else. Please don't hate me for the outcome of this fic! Major bastard-ization of Brad (I'd probably make him proud). Now onto the fic!
Disclaimer: These bishounen do not belong to me. *sobs* They belong to Takehito Koyasu *swoons* and Project Weiss and whoever owns them that I didn’t list here. Speaking of which, I’m sure someone has written something similar to this (I mean there’s like 2,681 Weiss fics on FF.net alone, like someone hasn’t conceived this idea). I don’t plagiarize fics. I didn’t copy this from someone else’s work, so if it looks similar, don’t email me with a ‘You %#^%$&%*-ing copycat’ message or something.
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Please Hate Me
by Pyrochan ([email protected])
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"You're such a cold-hearted bastard, you know that?!" Schuldig glared at me.
Normally an insult for anyone else, it was more of a compliment for me. Thanks, Schuldig.
"I'd think you'd care once if one of us got hurt or killed!" he continued.
Care? Why should I? Estet can replace any of you should you happen to meet your demise. I smirked at him.
"Shit. Why do I even bother?" Schuldig pressed his hand to the bullet wound on his shoulder.
One mistake in that mission. We still completed it, but I'd hardly call it a success. A mistake was made. One that could have been avoided. Schuldig was careless and got shot. Why was I supposed to care? It was his own fault for not paying attention.
"Get one drop of blood on the seat and you'll have more to worry about than that little wound," I told him.
He cursed under his breath, "Bastard. I wonder why I even have feelings for you..."
What?! My foot slammed on the brakes, causing Schuldig so much surprise he fell forwards and smacked into the dashboard. He should have been wearing his seat belt, really.
"Ow! Dammit, what the hell was that for?! You trying to break my nose too?!" he brought his hand up to his face and glared at me.
I returned the glare, "You take that back!"
He looked at me slightly confused, "Um...okay...I'm sorry for calling you a bastard..."
"Not that, idiot. The other part. I don't want you attaching sentimental feelings for me, so you can just forget about that."
"But why should you care?" he asked, "It's not like I expect you to like me in return."
"So? Take it back." he was really starting to make me angry now. That and this little revelation was totally screwing up my schedule. We should have been home in 13 minutes, now we were going to be set back.
"No!" he argued, "You can't tell me who I can or cannot like!"
"Yes I can."
"No you can't!"
I rolled my eyes. We were not getting into this.
I sighed, "Look--"
"Just because you're the high and mighty fearless, cold-hearted bastard leader does NOT mean you can tell me what my feelings should be!"
He interupted me. I hate being interupted. I back-handed him, and he gasped.
"What's you're problem?!" he shreiked.
My problem? I maintain my attitude as such because I'd rather be hated than loved. Is that so much to ask? No, I don't want friends. Who needs them anyway? They all end up dying. And no, I don't need a lover either. They screw up your feelings, making you soft and vulnerable.
"Take. It. Back." By now I am seething. He knows this. And he knows not to get me angry. He shouldn't be messing with me like this.
"No."
"Schuldig..."
"Look, just forget I said anything and drive. Let's just go home," he wasn't even looking at me now.
I took the key out of the ignition and pocketed it, not really caring that the car was stopped in the middle of the street. There were no cars out on the street at this hour of night anyway. And if there were, they could just drive around us.
"What the heck?!" he opened the car door, before I could lock it, and slammed it shut, "I'll just walk home!"
I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel, watching him walk along the sidewalk. Geez, how I just wanted to run him over. How could he harbor such feelings anyway? He's an assassin too. We're not supposed to feel anything. At least that's what I always tell myself. He toys with emotions, I ignore them, pretend they're not there. I've had my share of pain and dealing with emotions.
Who'd want to feel anything after going through Esset anyway?
He's long since turned the corner, and I've lost sight of him. Schuldig, I don't care if you don't care that your feelings are in vain. It bothers me to have someone care about me. Like I should do or feel something in return. I won't have any attachments to you. I don't need to feel anything for anyone. I don't want to feel obligated. Even if you did tell me you took back those feelings, it'd make me feel better, but you and I still know you'd be lying. You're right, I can't make you not love me. But I can try harder to make you hate me.
I wish you'd never told me that. Even if you did so, accidently.
I put the key back in the ignition and start the car up, driving a different way than what Schuldig chose to walk.
***
"Where's Schu? Wasn't he part of the mission as well?" Nagi asked.
"We got split up on the way home," I told him, while taking off my shoes.
"Split up, huh? What'd he do this time?" Nagi asked.
"That's none of your concern," I headed towards the my room, closing the door.
Shrugging off my jacket, I put it with all my other clothes that needed to get dry-cleaned. Maybe I should assign Nagi to do that tomorrow.
Now it was time to do paperwork, it was trite and very repetitive, but someone had to do it. I couldn't trust anyone else in this household to get it done right anyway. Besides, my bed didn't look too inviting. It never does.
I turned on my computer and brought up the files. My concentration was faded. Thanks a lot, Schuldig. I just stared at the bright screen, unable to get the work done. My mind kept wandering to that conversation in the car.
I sighed taking off my glasses and rubbing my eyes. I shouldn't let this bother me. I shouldn't let him get to me like this. He likes toying with emotions, even people who don't think they have emotions. I'm supposed to be a hollow block of ice. I like being that way.
A light headache has set in, and I get back to work, trying to keep my mind focused.
***
It's never very good to wake up and find out you've falen asleep at the computer. My back is going to ache the rest of the day. I slowly stand up and stretch. Ouch.
I resolve to wearing beige slacks with a white dress shirt and vest. Ooh, and I can wear my new matching Italian leather shoes. Schuldig complains that I have too many shoes, but at least I wear mine. Half the shoes he has, he just buys so he owns them.
I head for the bathroom, when Nagi stops me.
"Should I feed Farfello?" he asked.
"Tell schuldig to get his lazy ass out of bed and do it," I told him.
"Schuldig isn't home."
"Great," I roll my eyes. Irresponsible punk.
"I tried his cellphone and he isn't answering either."
"Okay, after I get out of the shower, I'll feed Farfello. Fix him breakfast."
Nagi nodded and headed towards the kitchen. Normally that's Schuldig's job. When Farfello gets into his little fits, it seems the only one who can deal with him is Schuldig. The Irishman won't listen to me or Nagi very well. And of course, when Farfello's in one of his moods swings, who has disappeared?
Irresponsible punk.
***
Miso and rice. Just about the only dish the teenager can make. Not one of farfello's favorites, but oh well. Who ever said I cared for the well being of my teamates anyway. I should just let farfello starve on account that it's Schuldig's job to feed him, not mine. Let him get mad at the German. Maybe with two people pissed off at him, Schuldig would reconsider disappearing and leaving me to deal with this psycho.
I turn the key to open Farfello's cell door, balancing his breakfast with my other hand. I'm really not in the mood for this today.
The Irishman raises his eyebrow, watching me enter. He's crawled up in the corner, and by the looks of it, I may have just woken him.
I set the food on the floor, "Okay, get over here."
"Where's Schuldig?" he asks, not moving.
"Your fuck buddy decided not to come home last night," I inform him.
"He's not my 'fuck buddy'," the Irishman sneered.
"If you want to eat, you'll get over here," I warn.
"I don't have to listen to you."
I think I'd shoot him if it had some effect on him. He's testing my patience...and it's next to null this morning.
"Let me loose," he asks, struggling to get out of his straight-jacket.
"Maybe later."
"Let me loose!! Go get Schuldig!" he's standing up now, not so very threatening if he's restrained in his coat. Unless...
"Don't you dare think of biting me."
"I'll think as I please," he hobbles over to his breakfast and sits in front of it.
"Then don't act upon it. I'll have you chained to the ceiling, faster than you can think to do it again. And I'll leave you there the rest of the day too, without any food."
"Such threats. I'm hungry."
I kneel down to scoop some food on the spoon. How awkward that I have to do this. Once again, it's messing up my schedule. I'll be sure to punish Schuldig for this.
***
"You want that I should go search for him?"
"Let him come home when he's hungry."
"Crawford, I know that you don't care much for our well-being, but what if he's in trouble?"
"He can take care of himself Nagi."
"But the report said he got shot."
"Nagi..." it's just a warning, but unlike Schuldig, Nagi can pick up on those.
"Gomen nasai, I'll leave you alone," he quickly bows and leaves the room.
I think Nagi has become too attached the his 'family'. Even I have noticed that Nagi thinks of the redhead as if he were an older brother. They certainly act like it sometimes.
It's six at night. Nagi should be doing homework, or filing reports, not worrying over the German.
***
Unconsciously, I know I was worrying. That's what only made me angrier. And all he can do is stand there and smirk. Part of his coat is stained red, so is his hand.
"What?" he smirks at me, as I glare. The newspaper I was reading is long forgotten, "Did the unfeeling leader actually miss me?"
"Schuldig." I walk over to him, and he winces in pain as I grab his injured shoulder.
"You should've seen that I'd come back anyway," Schuldig says, tensing under the pressure.
"I don't like your disappearing acts. You're a part of Schwarz and it's your responsibility to be here."
"Brad...you're hurting me."
If he hates me, then I won't have to deal with his feelings.
If he hates me...
"Brad stop it! You're hurting me!"
"Don't call me that." I can feel the wound open up as fresh blood bleeds onto my hand.
"It hurts!"
"How do you like me now?" I knee him in the gut, and he almost falls supported by only my hand digging into his gunshot wound.
He mumbles, and I can barely make out the words. But they are what I want to hear.
"I can't hear you," my grip tightens, and I back-slap him.
"I hate you!"
"Say it right!" I unleash a few punches on his already bruising body.
"I hate you, Crawford!!" he yells glaring at me, tears running down his face, blood driping from his nose and busted lip.
"Good," I release him and he collapses to the ground. My hand is red with his blood. With it, I grab his hair, forcing him to look at me, "Do NOT forget that."
I leave him there. Body, mind, and heart broken and in tears. I can't have you, Schuldig. You would turn into my weakness. And I don't want a weakness. I can't have you. I'm sorry. Please hate me.
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Author's notes: Eep. I'm sadistic. Bradley's so mean! Ah, but what do you expect? This is Brad. And the more I watch of Weiss, the more I see their relationship...fading. ;_; Nooooooooooo. *clutches head and does the Cloud Strife freakout*
Schu: X_X Can someone please bandage me up??
Brad: Ewwwww! I got Schu's blood on me! Gross!!! *runs off*
Farf: Nurse Farfie to the rescue! Ok Schu, where does it hurt?
Schu: Everywhere... Stop poking me.
Farf: *glomps Schu* I'm just so glad you're back! Brad made me eat EVERYTHING on my plate! It was so terrible! I'll never eat another mushroom as long as I live!
Schu: Can't breathe... @_@