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A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

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An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.

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Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.

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An economic forecaster was known to have an horseshoe prominently displayed above the door frame of his office. Asked what it was for, he replied that it was a good luck charm that helped his forecasts. But do you believe in that superstition? he was asked, and he said, "Of course not!" But then why do you keep it? "Well," he said, "it works whether you believe in it or not."

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Kenneth Boulding said, "Mathematics brought rigor to Economics. Unfortunately, it also brought mortis."

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Economists do it with models.

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Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven, plus or minus ten.

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Q. What's the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer's?
A. The economist is the one with the calculator.

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A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half a year to live. The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota. The woman asks: will this cure my illness? Answer of the doctor: No, but the half year will seem pretty long.

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Q:Why did God create economists?
A:In order to make weather forecasters look good.

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Two economists meet on the street. One inquires, "How's your wife?" The other responds, "Relative to what?"

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I asked an economist for her phone number....and she gave me an estimate.

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Economists have forecasted 9 out of the last 5 recessions.

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Q: Why was astrology invented?
A: So economics could be an accurate science.

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"I'm thinking of leaving my husband," complained the economist's wife. "All he ever does is stand at the end of the bed and tell me how good things are going to be."

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Q: Why do Economists provide estimates of inflation to the nearest tenth of a percent?
A: To prove they have a sense of humour.

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Theories are testable where they are least needed, and are not testable where they are most needed. - Charles Manski

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There are three sorts of economist. Those who can count, and those who can't.

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Joke in Moscow: "Everything the Communists told us about communism was a complete and utter lie. Unfortunately, everything the Communists told us about capitalism turned out to be true."

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Two economists sit down to play chess. They study the board for 24 hours and declare a stale-mate.

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On the first day God created the sun - so the Devil countered and created sunburn. On the second day God created sex. In response the Devil created marriage. On the third day God created an economist. This was a tough one for the Devil, but in the end and after a lot of thought he created a second economist! - CHEER February 1993

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The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist.
The Second Law of Economists: They're both wrong.

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We have two classes of forecasters: Those who don't know . . . and those who don't know they don't know. - John Kenneth Galbraith

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If all economists were laid end to end they would not reach a conclusion. - George Bernard Shaw

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If you put two economists in a room, you get two opinions, unless one of them is Lord Keynes, in which case you get three opinions. - Winston Churchill

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An economist is someone who sees something working in practice and asks whether it would work in principle. - Stephen M. Goldfeld

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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but it really gets screwed.