The Memoirs of Aenarion dePayens (draft)
At the time of writing this I will have served Knighthood for fifty two years. Prior to that I had been training under my father for a further ten years. Sixty two years I have been training to fight, fighting, or close to those fighting.
I joined Knighthood without even having all the recommended skills that were thought necessary to survive. Why I was allowed in at all is anybodies guess but I think Krysten took pity on me. I squired under half a dozen different knights, Ihsan being the main one, but with Kuldan and Garyn also chipping in as teachers. Even Seal took it upon himself to teach me at times, as I was hopeless at combat. The Keep in those days was a very different place. Ruled over by the Madaur family the focus was solely on destroying our enemy. Combat was the measuring stick for any and all knights. Honour, chivalry, even faith were worthless currencies. There were exceptions. Seal, Gunnar, Lancelot. These knights stood head and shoulders above the rest in my opinion, for their balance of virtue with combat. Mistake me not, the Madaurs were giants of men, fearsome knights focused on their duty in a way rarely seen since, but to my mind, our life has always been about more than just the fight. How you fight is as important as the fighting itself.
Following some advice from the Lord Knight, I started anew as a clergyman and found a little more success. My faith was strong and prayers came easily. I did not rain down holy judgement upon our enemies but I was able to keep myself alive much more easily with Nadrik�s help. With the help of persistence (I had gained Lieutenant rank in both Lance and Shield by this stage), and perhaps my ability to keep myself out of dire peril more often now, Seal granted me permission to become a paladin. It was about here in time that Seal left the Keep and Rheidyr took over. I spent the next few years learning the ways of a paladin. I was in no rush, helping out the clan in consecutive clan wars and otherwise learning what I had to the full before moving on.
What I remember most from this time was the �Vampires in Shalonesti� debacle. The conflict itself was simple. Do we kill the innocent and gold aured elves to get at the vampires we knew to make home there or do we allow some evil to go unpunished to protect the innocent? Half the Keep wanted the first, the other half wanted the second. Jyrin, a paladin, left the Keep for Armada so he could smite the evil. Garn and Muse championed the protection of the innocent whilst Rheidyr wished to strike down the unholy. Ihsan Madaur left the Keep, claiming the new leadership had persecuted him. He eventually fell to evil, becoming a prime force for Shadow. Zandreya eventually solved the vampire problem in Shalonesti and removed us from the hook but it left a bad taste in our mouths for months to follow.
Sometime early in this period I met and befriended a young gold named Elaevardoran. He and I spent quite some time together and when Leumas took over as Crown General I left the Keep to spend all of my time protecting the Gold. For some reason unknown to me, Elaevardoran left almost immediately after this, and so I wandered the realm alone, penniless and without cause for some time. It wasn�t until Jhervais, one time Squire of mine, took over as Crown General, that I was invited back to Knighthood, with my entrance paid in full. Absent from the Keep I�d still not finished my training and had no real plans on doing so until a persistent Brass dragon took it upon herself to help me learn the finest arts of paladinhood. I�ve since spent many hours with Paziameira, and count her amongst my friends, although I know she does not hold me in the same regard. She may be fond of my presence, or so I like to think, but I am still just a �softling� to her. She does not understand how I can be weary of life after having lived such a �short� period of time.
Let me digress for a moment to speak on Paz. She is, I believe, the first dragon I ever spoke to and the second I saw, behind Tiguexteac. To my mind, she is the greatest of the Metallics to ever fly in our age and more than a match for almost all of the Chromatics. I was never her official Warder, she never needed one and would be the first to tell you so. I have, however, flown with her into combat many a time. The child in me would revel when from on high, she would take us soaring down into the midst of battle and the enemy would flee before her in fear. There was a time during the Pirates reign of terror, when a chief antagonist of theirs was an assassin called Kath�ruk. This assassin was arrogant and cocky and had taunted many a knight, slaying many of them as they tried to answer. His arrogance was to prove his undoing though, as he stayed to fight Paz and me. I�ll confess I did little in the fight beyond knocking the assassin over a few times with my lance, but Paz was like a great cat on the hunt. A great cat with wings and a mouth full of teeth longer than my hand that is. The assassin didn�t stand a chance and although he will tell a different story with differing reasons, he was easily outmatched and slain. I remember this fight purely because the assassin stayed. Not through courage or valour, as someone such as Leumas may have done, but through sheer arrogance. He actually thought he could slay a dragon with a rider on his own.
Another memory of mine with Paz is from Icewall. We were there, together, hunting the white dragon Zsiera. We never found her but that is not what I remember. What I remember is soaring above the ice scape, the snow covered mountain peaks, the majestic glaciers, all so far below us. It was bitterly cold, and I think my armour had frozen into a solid suit. I�d not have been able to fall off if I wanted to. How Paz stayed, when it was the heat she loved and craved I don�t know. Still she took us down through precarious ravines, and up over frozen mountain saddles looking for the lair of this beast which we had directly tracked here. A fruitless exercise, and one of privation and pain, but highlighted by ethereal, natural beauty. Truly I was thankful to be alive when we landed.
Anyway, over the course of my training, before I left the Keep I had joined the Crown, at knight level and risen through the ranks to Captain. When I returned, my rank was reinstated and during my entire tenure in the Crown I�ve spent time as assistant High Justice, transferred several times to the Lance to teach as Weaponsmaster (the irony is not lost on me) and back again into the Crown ending up as a Colonel. There are not many Knights who earn Crown Colonel without going via Generalship in another Order. Varner is another who has achieved this and I still consider it one of the most important things I�ve ever achieved in Knighthood. I am much sorrowed that new Knights have lost the desire to join the Crown and rise through its ranks.
Toward the end of Jhervais� tenure as Crown General the Lords Shield and Lance came together, worried at the Lord Crown�s increasing absences and seeking me out as Crown Colonel we decided in the interests of the Keep to replace Jhervais. Aedon was selected, with Leumas being Shield General still, and myself becoming Lance General.
I don�t remember huge amounts of detail from my time as Lance General. Some amusing anecdotes. Threatening to burn down New Thalos if they didn�t return a knight they�d arrested is one that makes me chuckle now. Juggling the fiery hot headedness of Lancers who wanted to do anything to destroy evil with teaching them to behave like proper knights. Paleceron�s struggle with self imposed celibacy. I remember waging a constant struggle with Rheivan Madaur, a young Lancer of mine who never wanted to follow the rules and etiquette of knighthood. Always he would be out pushing the boundaries of what was now acceptable in a knight. He was an extremely capable fighter, a boon to the Lance and an example to all my other knights of how effective a paladin could be in combat which is why I allowed him some leeway. I remember Nadrik coming and visiting Rheivan and wondering why Nadrik would see this recalcitrant yet would not and had not ever talked to me. I know now, why, but I�ll withhold that reason to allow young paladins to discover it for themselves.
I became Crown General when Aedon retired but found myself worn out from my time in the Lance and so did not stay the position for long. I was not made to be the Crown General. I made mistakes almost immediately. Nadrik approached me and imposed a ban of silence on the Keep, telling me that no one was to know why. He was testing them. Tempers flared the minute I made the declaration, with knights coming up with all manner of ridiculous reasons why they should be allowed to talk to the outside world. I watched in sorrow as all manner of behaviour proved the ire of Nadrik well placed. Even Leumas, whom I regard as a close friend, was unwilling to stay the vow of silence for long with no explanation forthcoming from me. My pleas to everyone to endure in faith went largely overlooked.
A false messenger of Nadrik appeared, a trick by Devion, yet those knights who balked under my command were all too willing to believe the new, false, message about relaxed vows. The vow lasted for only a short time, less than a week I think, but in that time my faith in the Keep and my confidence to rule them in adversity was destroyed.
As soon as it was thought Gwynn was ready, I stepped down and she took over. It proved to be the wisest decision I�ve ever made. I haven�t the patience for dealing with outside forces. Live your life according to the tenets of Nadrik. Kill the enemy. Those are my guidelines for life. Politics is for someone else.
When Gwynn was young, she decided her life was to be that of a paladin. Unfortunately, much as myself when I was young, she was not terrible adept at combat. I told her this and suggested she become a priest instead. It is standard to tell a young aspirant they are not good enough to become a paladin. It is a test of their tenacity. No lies are told, just honest flaws pointed out. Most young knights see this and work hard to correct their flaws, never losing sight of their dream. Gwynn, however, saw that her stumbling block matched a dire need within Knighthood, and rather than choosing to maintain her path, she put the Keep�s needs in front of her and took up the mantle of a priest. This action is indicative of nearly every decision she has made since. It is rare to see a knight truly dedicated, from the first, with putting Knighthood�s needs before their own. She is one such as this.
So I�ve spent more time �retired� than I have on active service. I�ve been High Justice twice. Lord Templar for a while, a position created to formalise the teaching of paladin aspirants. I spend my time inside the Keep now, teaching and yelling at Squires. I ride only when danger is highest. Somehow along the way I managed to become Champion to Nadrik. I was rewarded, I think, for being true to His teaching in a difficult time.
Just prior to the Abhorrent slaying Aramaelous in the AGL arena, the angel came to us with a message. He, the guardian of the portal that prevented the Abhorrents re-entering our world, had been tricked into leaving his place and the portal had been breached. All was not lost though, certain artefacts could be gained which would allow him to fix the problem. He had tried Justice since he thought our honour would prevent us doing what needed to be done but they had failed him, so now he came to us as a last resort.
�Find the rod of reversal,� he told us. This rod will close the portal. Seek out either the bhalanx or the witch, Brei'naela. Convince either of them to help you. He left us with two warnings. One, the bhalanx would likely not help us if we told it the truth, and two; the witch did not have the rod on her.
It was a task we were doomed to fail from the start. Fate could not have placed us in a crueller situation. The bhalanx was approached, the truth was told as our vows demanded, and the rod was denied us as was forewarned. The witch was then approached. She demanded flesh. Several knights offered, despite the evilness of the act. This was countermanded and the witch ordered to hand over the rod on pain of death. She chose death. We were forced to return to the angel empty handed. Wroth was he that we had chosen to maintain our honour rather than do anything necessary to obtain the rod. Lie, cheat or steal? This is the way of Shadow, not Knighthood. We will find another method to protect this world. Within the week our Keep lay in ruins thanks to a devastating curse by the dead witch and I was named Champion by my Lord. The road of honour is never the easy road but our Lord sees and rewards those that have the courage to walk it always.
I remember us, in my early days, being reprimanded by Nadrik for allowing those of dishonourable training within our walls. This was a troubling time for me, because I�d always found Gwaine to be honourable, and I knew others such as Hugh, Valen and Moonwind, two more Squires of mine, quite well. Up until this point, there had been little focus on the how and more on the what. We, the Keep, had always allowed this, and it had not occurred to us that our reasoning was flawed from the start. This was, I think, one of the main catalysts for change within our Keep.