http://www.thekeep.org/~lara/


{Shin Seiki Evangelion/Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to Gainax, Hideaki
Anno and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto.  The use of their material in this work is
not intended for profit, and shall not be used in that way.}


The Success of Two Salarymen
part a
by Lara Bartram
----------------------------



"Kozo, I think we have certifiably hit the big time."

"Don't get your hopes up.  Do you know how much work this is going to mean
for us?"

"And you're the one that's always calling me lazy!  This is our chance!
We can finally get the respect we deserve!"

"Jubilation doesn't suit you."

Gendo rolled his eyes.  "Why are you so negative?  Don't you see?  No more
Kaji breathing down our necks, no more baby-sitting, no more scrubbing
toilets..."  He took Kozo by the lapels of his rumpled suit.  "We are on
easy street."

"Maybe.  I just don't think we should get ahead of ourselves."

"Bah.  You worry too much."  Gendo turned his attention back to his
sandwich.  The sun was out, the birds were singing, his paycheck was
rising...  How Kozo could be such a party-pooper was beyond him.

"Hey, isn't that the woman you were seeing last year, Gendo?"

"Naoko?"  He looked up.  "Whe--"  Then he saw her.

She was smiling and waving, jogging in their direction.  She looked
exactly as he remembered her... except for the whole pregnant thing.

"She's as big as a whale, Gendo!"

"A... whale..."  Gendo's eyes rolled back into his head, and he collapsed
in a dead faint.

***

Gendo looked at the card in his hand and had to fight off waves of nausea.

"She sounded really happy, Gendo.  She's looking forward to you calling
her tonight."

"Shut up, Kozo."

"She was really pretty; that dress looked very nice on her, even if she
was hugely pregnant.  How lucky you must feel to be a father and all."
Kozo smiled widely and pat his friend on the back.

"A whale..." was the only thing Gendo could offer in response.

Kozo leaned in and whispered, "Probably twins."

"Twins...  Whale..."  Gendo let out a low moan and dropped his head to his
desk.

***

Gendo tapped his feet restlessly under the table.  The sooner the whole
thing was over with, the better.  There was just no way he was ready to
believe that he was really going to be a...  With Naoko.

For some reason, that was more frightening than the rest of it.

"I'm not marrying her," he muttered to himself, as he kept his eyes glued
to the door.

The door opened, and he saw a man standing there, and behind him...  Gendo
winced.

Naoko hadn't been the most patient or polite woman he'd ever known, and he
just knew she was about to display that to the entire restaurant.

"MOVE!"

Gendo turned his head and held his hand up in an effort to hide his face.
Maybe she wouldn't see him and leave.  Oh please, let her leave.  He
didn't want to have to--

"It's been such a long time, Gendo!"

"Hi, Naoko."  He accepted her hug and kiss on the cheek with a minimum of
flinching.

"I haven't heard from you in about nine months."  If she saw his wince,
she made no mention of it.  "So what have you been doing?"

"Working."  Making conversation had never been a strong suit of his, and
he had never really had any long conversations with Naoko.  That hadn't
been their thing.

Gendo almost started to weep.  If it had been, maybe he wouldn't have been
sitting there with her.  Oh God, why did he have to be such a slave to
his hormones?

"That's good to hear.  I just took time off from work."  The reason why
was left unspoken.

"Uh... ah."  He tried his best to avoid looking in her eyes, then maybe
she wouldn't detect the fear.

They sat that way, her looking at him expectantly and him not looking at
her fearfully.  Finally, the waiter saved Gendo for the time being.

"Would you like anything to drink?"

A very short time being.

"A drink?!  I'm pregnant with this man's child and you're asking me if I
want a _drink_?!" Naoko barked, getting the attention of everyone in the
restaurant.

Gendo tried to slide out of his chair and duck under the table.  On the
plus side, how much worse could it get?  Ask and ye shall receive.  Across
the restaurant, through one of the stylistic archways that split the
dining areas roughly in half, he saw her.

Slit his wrists... with a butterknife.  It could be done.  If a person was
determined enough, and at that moment, he was certainly determined, for on
the other side of the dining area he saw two very familiar blue eyes
staring at him.

He looked away, hoping she wouldn't recognize him.  If she knew...  He had
actually been making progress with her!  That pity lay had only been maybe
nine or ten dates away!  And now...

"Gendo Rokubungi!  Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

And now, since most of the free world knew who he was, his chances of
scoring with Yui were right down the toilet like Director Lorenz's
daughter's face.  A sliver of rage burned inside of him for this
injustice.  They had both known the risks, and they had both agreed that
it wouldn't be a permanent thing, and here she was, trying to sink her
witchy, jagged, blood-red claws into him.

Gendo stood suddenly, knocking his chair over and getting the attention of
just about everyone.  "Are you positive that's mine?"

Naoko stared at him.

"Are you sure that's mine?" he repeated, his gaze boring into her head.

"No."

"What?"

"No."  Naoko shrugged like she had just finished the last brownie.  "I
mean, sure there were other guys, but you and I were three, four times a
night.  It has to be yours."

Gendo sputtered.  "Other guys?!  What?!"

"Oh please."  Naoko waved him off, looking bored with the whole situation.
"Like this is news to you.  What, you thought all those nights I was just
w--"  She lowered her voice.  "You thought I was wet with anticipation for
you?"

Gendo's stomach flip-flopped and he turned decidedly green.  "I... don't
wanna know.  I don't."

"But I didn't know those other men the way I know you.  I knew it had to
be yours because we always did it... the traditional way.  The other guys,
well, you know, sometimes it was... back door, and sometimes I would
just..."  She opened her mouth and bobbed her head a little.  "And most of
them I made wear condoms!"

[Flashback!  Nine months previous or so]

The lights were dim, the music was loud, the alcohol was flowing, Naoko
was toasted.  "Yer a strong lookin' fella," she slurred, spilling some
of her drink on the man's white outfit.

He smiled and steadied her with a hand on her breast.  "Take it easy now,
ma'am."

"Yer foreign, aint'cha?"

"Yes, ma'am.  The three of us are on shore leave for a little...
relaxation."  The man smiled as he gestured to his two friends, also in
white outfits.  They smiled and nodded at her.

Naoko wiggled her fingers back at them, smiling broadly.

"So what're you in?  Tha merines?"

"The navy, ma'am.  We're in the navy."

"Ah...  Well, one of us 'as gotta wear white."  Naoko laughed and slapped
her hand on the man's chest.  "Whut's yer name, sailor?"

"I'm Mel.  This are my buds, Casper and Theo."

"Short for Balthazar," the one nick-named Theo added, still smiling at
Naoko.

"You guys rilly are foreign!  Wow...  I don't think I've ever had sex on a
boat before."

"It's a ship, ma'am.  And we really aren't supposed to bring people on
board, especially after hours," said Mel, still steadying Naoko with his
hands on various parts of her anatomy.

"Oh... well how about a cheap hotel?"

[End sordid flashback]

"I am calling a doctor."  Gendo sat back down slowly, his face white as a
sheet.

"More baby tests?" Naoko squealed with delight.  "Sometimes those
instruments are a little cold, but the strong hands of a d--"

"No!  I am getting myself tested, you skanky tramp.  And then we are gonna
have some sort of blood test, DNA test, chemistry, physics, biology,
history, math... whatever kind of test it takes to prove that kid is _not_
mine!"

The delighted smile on Naoko's face had turned into disbelief, which had
turned into disgusted boredom.  "You men are all the same.  You want all
the sex and none of the responsibilities.  Well fine.  I don't need you or
your stupid tests."  She stood and grabbed her purse.  "You can just
forget you ever knew me, Gendo Rokubungi.  I won't be darkening your
doorway ever again."  With that, she marched out, pushing aside a waiter
and a pair of customers waiting to be seated.

When the door swung shut behind her, Gendo let out a shout of triumph.
"Yes!  She's gone!"

The other patrons seemed similarly relieved.

"Waiter... something to drink.  Something strong.  And I'd also like to
buy that table whatever they want," he said, grinning and pointing to the
table Yui was at with some of her friends.

***

"You're chipper today."  He better not have scored with Yui or I'll kill
him.

"Yeah, Naoko dumped me last night.  It was the best thing in the world."

"That's nice."  Kozo wore a decidedly fake smile to hide his frustration.
Dammit.  That witch was supposed to take him out of the running.  "What
about the baby?"  Yeah, riddle him with guilt.

"Oh, it turns out she was a totally ho-bag slut."

"You just now figured this out?"

"Shut up.  Almost blew it with Yui too, stupid bitch."

Kozo gaped.  "How _dare_ you call Yui a stupid bitch, you sorry sack of
sh--"

"_Naoko_ is a stupid bitch.  Jeez, old man.  Settle down.  I would never
call Yui that.  She's... a perfect, nice, kind, gentle, well-rounded--"

Kozo slapped Gendo's hands down, which had started to trace some imaginary
outline in the air.  "I get the point.  Besides, she's more like
this."  He traced his own outline.

"Really?  I think you're being a little conservative on top there.  Maybe
this."

"Her breasts aren't _that_ big!"

"Hi, you two."

The two men froze, Gendo with his hands held two feet apart in front of
him, and Kozo with his hands poised in the air like they were... supporting
something.  All hands disappeared into various pockets before they turned
around.

"Hi, Yui."

She smiled warmly at them before taking Gendo by the arm and leading him a
short distance away.  "About that scene at the restaurant," she began.

Gendo flinched.  He had been hoping she hadn't noticed him there.

"I'm really sorry that woman caused you so much trouble.  That was very
unsightly for everyone."

With his eyes searching for some sort of Candid Camera set-up, Gendo
nodded.

"I hope it all works out for you."  She hadn't stopped smiling, but here
it shifted from her general 'I'm too innocent to fuck' smile to something
that said, maybe, 'I'm not as innocent as you think, so give it a try'.

Luckily, Gendo had his hands still shoved in his pockets.  "Thanks,
Yui.  I'm pretty sure it will now.  I just..."  Something in him screamed
to play this to the hilt.  "I just never realized how she was going around
behind my back.  I l-loved her, and she was just using me.  It hurts so
much."

"There, there."  Yui slipped her arm around him and patted his
back.  "Maybe we can talk about this later to help you get over her
brutal and callous treatment.  A wounded heart can be the toughest thing
in the world to heal."

Gendo looked at her, his eyes growing to cartoonish proportions and
becoming liquid with emotion.  "Would you?"

"I would."

"Over dinner?"

"Sure."

"Tonight?"

"Tonight."

"Could I run my hands over your naked, oiled body and then cover you in
whipped cream to lick it off with such excruciating slowness you become my
willing love slave for the rest of our lives?"

"We'll talk about it later."

Gendo shook his head.  "Er... right.  I'll talk to you about dinner
later."

"Feel better."

"You will.  I mean, right.  I'm already feeling much better."

Kozo watched this quiet conversation with half-lidded eyes.  What a crock
of shit.

***

"I should kill you, Rokubungi."

"Oh, come on, old man.  There's plenty of other available women around.
Of course, none of them are Yui, but that's just a minor drawback.  I'm
sure you won't notice the different eyes, or lips, or how her breasts
don't--"

"Rokubungi," Kozo growled.

"All right, all right.  What about...  Hey!"  Gendo's eyes lit up.  "You
could always put your best moves on Inspector Katsuragi.  I've heard she's
easy."

"I don't want easy!  I want Yui!"

"Yeah, but... wouldn't you be the talk of the office if you snatched a
wild woman like her right out from underneath that bastard Kaji?  Your
name would live in office legend!"

"You are such a--"

"Gentlemen, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

The two stood up.  "Of course not, Director Lorenz," they said in unison.

"Good.  Rokubungi, I have a special task for you.  This will entail some
overtime, but I know you'll enjoy it."

"Of course I will, sir."  The only overtime he was looking forward to was
what he'd be spending with Yui, but it was looking like that was about to
be put on hold.  He could see the smirk on Kozo's face.

"Excellent.  Here."  Lorenz tossed a set of keys to Gendo, who barely
caught them.

"What are these to?"

"The company van."

"And what will I be needing that for?"

"Since you're so good with them, I figured you wouldn't have any trouble
watching my children while I'm off on some business."

Kozo's smirk immediately changed to a wide smile.  "That's an excellent
idea, sir.  I know they really enjoy spending time with Rokubungi!"

"Stop kissing ass, Fuyutsuki.  I'm not impressed."

"Sorry, sir."

"Now, Rokubungi..."

Gendo seemed to shrivel under his bosses words, like a plant under a heat
lamp.

"My children like you, and though Shinji wanted to spend more time
Fuyutsuki here--"

Kozo opened his mouth in a silent scream.

"--I'm not giving you both time off.  Besides, they're only children so it
should only take one of you to handle them."

"Yes, sir."  Gendo had accepted his fate, and was preparing mentally for
killing himself later.

"Good.  I'll bring them by this afternoon."  Director Lorenz began to
waddle off.

Afternoon...  "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Did you say something, Rokubungi?"

"No, sir."

"Good."

Gendo fell against Kozo, sobbing.  "My date.  My date with Yui..."  He
blew his nose on his friend's tie.  "All ruined.  Because of that man's
little demonspawn!"

"Grow up, you putz," Kozo snapped, shoving Gendo away.  "So you don't get
to go on a date with Yui.  It's not the end of the world."

With disbelieving eyes, Gendo stared.

"Well, okay, for you it is, but come on!  It's not that bad."

Gendo continued to stare.

"Well, yeah, it is.  But you'll survive."

...

"Well, maybe you won't, but..."  Kozo had run out of things to say.  "Can
I have your stash of cup ramen when you die?"

Gendo began sobbing again.

***

With a look of complete misery, Gendo trudged to the cafeteria.  Kozo,
with his carefree life lacking completely of monstrous children that
wanted to kill him, had made his merry way there already.  "I hate
you," Gendo muttered, sending several people around him to walk just a
little further away.

He opened the double swinging cafeteria doors with his face and flopped
down in the nearest chair, angering the current occupant, Tajumi Ikeda.

"Gendo?"

That voice...  He looked up and managed to smile at the face he saw.  A
tear of joy trickled down his cheek.

"Gendo, what's wrong?"

A hand of pure golden light held itself out and waited for him to take
it.  When he slipped his hand into it, he felt the light filling his
being, purifying his soul of the darkness the demon Naoko had left there
to fester and rot like a wet cabbage in the broiling sun.

Yui led Gendo back to her table and sat him down in an unoccupied
chair.  The others there stared.

"He's weeping like a small child," one commented.

"Hey, I've been in Tajumi's lap before; he has every right to weep."

Yui ignored them and tried to figure out what the problem was.  "Gendo,
what's wrong?"

When Gendo got a clear look at her face, his crying intensified and he
threw her arms around her, crushing her to him.

"Sensitive men are the greatest," another table occupant said dreamily.

"Yeah, but he's just crying like a big baby."

"Be quiet," Yui scolded them, prying Gendo's arms apart.  "There's
obviously something wrong.  This might not be the best time to break bad
news to him."

Bad news... bad news... bad news...  "Yuiiiii," Gendo wailed, "I don't
wanna go!"

"Go where?  Tell me what's wrong," she urged, still trying to get his arms
apart.

"Director *sniffle* Lorenz's kids *sniffle* don't wanna watch them
*hiccup* evil demons!"

"You have to watch the director's children?"  Yui finally got one arm
loose.

Gendo nodded.

"When?"

"Tonight."

"Oh!  Well everything works out then!"

Gendo's tears dried immediately.  "What?"

Yui broke free and smiled at him.  "At the last minute, my sister
called--"

"You have a sister?"

"Yeah.  I thought everyone knew that.  Anyway, she called and is having a
personal problem.  She asked if I could watch her son for the evening.  I
knew you'd understand, and I couldn't turn away my sister..."

Gendo stared dully at her.  "This isn't making me feel better."

Yui shook her finger.  "No, this is perfect.  While I'm watching Kaworu,
that's my nephew, you can bring the director's children, and we can go to
Disney together.  I'm sure the director would gladly pay for the
expenses."

"Yeah, gladly like I'd gladly shove a box of Lincoln Logs up my rectum."

Yui just smiled at him.

Gendo started to sweat.

***

That afternoon, Kozo stood behind Gendo, giving him the typical
manager-boxer pep talk.  "Stick and move.  Never stand in one place for
more than a few seconds.  Don't let them get inside your defenses.  Use
verbal intimidation; psych them out.  Take control of the situation.  And
for goodness sake, wear a cup.  You know the girl will be armed."

Gendo nodded, his fixed down the hallway where, any moment now, the
children would be emerging.  Control the situation.  Verbal intimidation.
Wear a cup.  The only thing that actually kept him from fleeing in terror
was the knowledge that he'd have Yui's bosom to cry on when things got
really bad.

"And no crying on Yui's bosom when they beat the hell out of you."  Kozo
spun Gendo around roughly, slapped his cheek and nodded.  "Go get
'em."  He spun Gendo around again and shoved him down the hall.

Just then, the door opened, and in slow motion, the wave of chaos rushed
through.

"Remember it's always the quiet ones!"

Gendo had less than two seconds to consider his friend's words before the
little hellions were upon him.  Shinji clutched his hand like _they_ were
the ones on a date; Asuka greeted him with a vicious kick to the shin; and
Rei... she didn't do anything.

"Goodbye, old friend," he called out to Kozo, giving him one last wave
before he was dragged away.

***

In the van, Gendo was amazed at how well-behaved the children were.  It
didn't hurt that Rei was in the passenger seat while the other two beasts
were in the back.  They seemed content, at any rate, to verbally abuse
each other and not him.  Life was good.

"We're almost there," he informed them, unsure of what kind of reaction it
would promote.  They were wildly unpredictable outside of abusing him.

"I don't see why we have to spend time with _her_," Asuka grouched,
crossing her arms over the yellow dress she was wearing.  "She's not our
mother."

"Of course she's not," Gendo began in his best effort to not piss the girl
off.  "Satan's your mother," he muttered under his breath.  "We just
thought you'd like to spend the evening at the amusement park."

Asuka snorted.

Shinji's reply was a little more... negative.  "Oh, not that awful Tokyo
Disney.  It's a vile little drone factory that's consumed with greed and
the oppression of artistic expression."

Gendo sighed.  "Or not.  Well, I'm sure Yui will be able to--"

"Why do you talk about her so much?  You think she wants to have sex with
you, don't you?" Asuka sniped.  "She must be stupid if she does.  And then
you'd end up having stupid kids who would work for me and I'd have to fire
them because they were so stupid."

"She is rather... common," Shinji added.

"I like her."

The other two children immediately quieted at the words out of Rei's
mouth and an unnatural silence filled the van.

Gendo glanced at Rei, noting she was staring out the window.  He _assumed_
it had been Rei that spoke, as the voice came from her general direction,
but he hadn't heard her speak before, and she hadn't moved an
inch.  "Yes, well, let's just try to have fun.  Please.  Pleeeease."

Shinji leaned forward and hung over the back of Gendo's seat.  "For you
I will," he said quietly and slipped his arms around Gendo's neck.

***

Gendo smiled at Yui.  "Are you ready?"

Yui smiled back.  "We sure are.  This is my nephew, Kaworu."  From
behind Yui stepped a tallish young man with silvery hair and vibrant red
eyes.

He smiled at Gendo in a far too familiar Shinji sort of way.

"Uh... nice to meet you, Kaworu.  Should we go now?"  He took a small step
back, putting extra distance between himself and the boy.

"Yes, that would be an excellent idea, and then I can meet the director's
children."  Yui slipped a sweater over her shoulders, took Kaworu's hand,
then exited the apartment.

As they walked down the stairs, Gendo, feeling slightly more confident in
Yui's presence, said, "I should tell you, Shinji is against going to
Disney."

"Shinji?"

Gendo glanced at the boy and noted the way his eyes were alight with
interest.  "Uh, yeah.  Shinji."

Kaworu released Yui's hand and grabbed on to Gendo's arm.  "Tell me all
about him.  What are his measurements?  What color eyes does he have?  I
just love a pair of big brown eyes like pools of melted chocolate that I
could just swim around nude in."

"I avoid making eye contact as much as possible."

Yui leaned down to whisper, "The director's children are a bit wild."

Kaworu giggled girlishly and clutched Gendo's arm tighter as the
boy's body quivered.  "Oh, a wild stallion that needs taming.  I
can't wait!"

Gendo looked over at Yui, desperate pleading in his eyes, but she merely
smiled at her nephew and ruffled the boy's hair.

"You take it easy on Shinji.  We're here to have a good time."

"Oh, I _know_."

"You're such a little Casanova.  And let go of Gendo's arm; you're
frightening him.

Gendo tried to laugh it off as Kaworu walked just a little too close to
him, allowing the boy's thigh to rub against his as they stepped in
unison.  "No, it's fine.  He's just... friendly."

"As friendly as you want me to be," Kaworu said quietly, and let his
fingers dance up Gendo's arm.

"Okay, Yui, get him off me.  Now, please."

***

The van rumbled down the street, its once quiet engine now ticking
ominously as steam snaked out from under the rumpled hood.  Luckily, Gendo
hadn't actually been going that fast when Shinji had grabbed him and sent
him plowing directly into a light pole.

"We don't have to go to Disney.  It wouldn't be much time there anyway,"
Yui said pleasantly as she looked into the back.

Rei nodded.

Asuka scowled.

Kaworu and Shinji giggled like a couple of school girls.

"I want to see hands in laps, you two.  Your own laps!"

The boys giggled again then abruptly stopped.

"Why thank you, Rei.  You're so well behaved."  Yui turned back around and
folded her hands in her lap.  "They're not so bad, Gendo.  I don't know
what you were so worried about."

Gendo looked back to see Rei still staring at the two boys, who were now
silent and unhappy.

"I... guess."  There was something very odd about that girl, but he
couldn't tell what.  She was quiet, silent in most cases, and yet her
siblings, and even Kaworu, were intimidated by her.  She was built like a
China doll, pale skin and so slender she didn't appear to be able to hurt
a fly.

When she looked at him though, looked into his eyes, which so far had only
been once thankfully, her gaze was like a laser straight into his brain,
into his soul.  If that was how he felt, no wonder the kids were so
intimidated.  But still...  At least the others were quiet.

Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all.

***

Gendo sat on a bench and watched the kids do things not near him.  They
appeared, at this distance, to be normal children and not Stygian larvae
disguised in human form.

And they would be infinitely more tolerable if they weren't his bosses
kids.  But such was life, and especially his life.  Even Kozo, as old as
he was and with zero romantic prospects, had it better than he.

Yes, Yui was almost certainly his, and his job was definitely better than
before, but there was something missing.  There was still too much against
him.  Kozo too, but his old friend had always seemed one step ahead.

Until now.

"Here you go."  Yui handed him a large drink and sat next to him.  She
balanced a large container of fries on their legs.  "I'm so glad they're
having fun."

"As long as they leave me alone, they can burn down the Imperial
Palace."

Yui giggled and patted his arm.  If she had arms the size of a
heavyweight boxer, it might have been called a swat, but as it was, it
looked more like a congratulatory gesture.  "They're not so bad, are
they?"

"Your nephew seems... the least destructive of them."

"He and Shinji get along very well."

"A little too well," Gendo mumbled and took a drink of his soda.  Because
of the position he was in, with the fries on his leg and the drink at his
mouth, the only thing he could manage was to perk his ears up when Yui
leaned her head on his shoulder.

Recovering from the moment of social dysfunction, Gendo set down his
drink and pulled one of the oldest moves in the book.  Pretending to
stretch, he put his arm around Yui's shoulders.

"You bastard."  Kozo's eyes narrowed from his hiding place behind some
tastefully placed bushes and a garbage receptacle.  "You... bastard."
He could feel the various important arteries and veins in his body throb
and threaten to burst.

>From narrow to impossibly wide, his eyes transitioned in an instant when
he saw Yui tilt her head up slightly, her eyes closed, and Gendo look at
her, then slowly move his head down...  Kozo's hand closed on a
half-filled cup that someone had deigned not to throw away.  Maybe it
had been obvious that Yui had a sweet spot--many sweet spots--for Gendo,
but that didn't excuse it in the older man's eyes.  No, this was
completely unacceptable.

He stood and prepared to hurl the cup at the...  Bile rose in his
throat.  He prepared to hurl the cup at the "couple" preparing to kiss.

"I'm Akagi Ritsuko, and I'm here at the local fair for our weekly slice
of life story.  Call it human interest, call it sappy mush, call it
catching  people in forbidden moments of PDAs..."  The blond sauntered
through Kozo's line of fire, carrying her microphone and followed by a
struggling camera and sound man.

"And here we are," she informed the camera as she walked around the bench
Yui and Gendo were sitting on, "with two young lovers..."  Ritsuko paused
as the surprised faces of the two looked up at her.  "Well, two lovers at
any rate.  Now," she continued, hardly missing a beat, and thrusting the
microphone at them, "why are the two of you sitting here so flagrantly and
publically making out like a pair of wild animals?"

Yui turned away and blushed profusely, shaking her head.

Gendo stared for a moment, then sprang to his feet, tossing the food and
his drink over the hapless assistants.  "You're the reporter!  The one
with the aliens!"

With a condescending smile, Ritsuko nodded.  "I am.  Always nice to meet a
fan."

Sidling a little closer, Gendo continued to stare at her.  A grin slowly
spread across his face as his eyes looked down at the generous amount of
exposed cleavage.  "Your _biggest_ fan."

With those words slipping from his mouth, Yui turned and stared at him.
"G-Gendo..."

"You are, are you?"  Ritsuko was looking at him now with a half-lidded
eyes and a small, some might say seductive smile.  She made a small motion
with her hand, and the light on the camera switched off.

"Not again," the sound guy mumbled as he walked off toward the nearest
beerstand with his co-worker.

"Yeah.  I know you'd appreciate something like that the way you handle
that microphone."

Yui stood, no longer shocked, but now furious.  Without pausing a moment
to attempt to think rationally, she took her drink and poured it over
Gendo's head, then marched away.

Seconds later, Kozo walked up and dumped the drink he had been ready to
throw over Gendo's head, and followed quickly after Yui.

The next moments went by in a blur for Gendo.  First the drink and Yui
walking away, Kozo, then a storm in the shape of children pelting him with
questions (and in Asuka's case, her foot), and then...

"Oh, how cute," Ritsuko said distastefully as the children rampaged off
again.  "Are those your children?"

"n-no"

"Ah.  Little beasts.  Look, why don't we go and get you cleaned up?"

"go?"

"Back to my place.  Run your clothes through a washer, run yourself
through a shower, do a little... 'investigative reporting' together, maybe
have some dinner, and then I can shuck you out the door like just another
one night stand.  Sounds fun, doesn't it?"

"uh"

"I knew you couldn't resist.  I'd better call Maya and tell her I have
other plans.  You're not her type."  With that said, and done as far as
Ritsuko was concerned, she escorted him off with a very satisfied smile on
her face.

--------------------
TBC