HEIL ASUKA!
an Evangelion fanfic by EeL
completed Oct 98

Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by the people at GAINAX.
English translation rights and distribution in the UK 
belong to ADVision.

This fanfic should rate as a 'Lime' with adult themes
(no, not tax returns or gorcery shopping or mortgages)
without overt descriptions. Readers who are averse to
their imaginations running wild should look away now.

	*		*		*

      Misato hummed cheerfully as she approached the
entrance to her apartment. She had good reason to be
pleased. The operations planning tonight had been
finished much earlier than expected so there was no 
need to pull another all-nighter. Just as she was 
about to enter, she noticed that the lights in the 
apartment were still on.

      "Are those two still up?" she thought and 
decided to eavesdrop for a while to find out what
her two charges were up to.

      "Ummm. Mmm. More to the left, Shinji. Yeessss."

      "Hmmmm."

      "Aaaah."

      Asuka went on for a few more minutes.

      "Ummmmmm. Okay, Shinji. Just let me change
position.... right. Back to work."

      "Jawohl mein fuhrer. Heil Asuka."

      "Yes, I'm glad you realize you're only fit 
to be my slave. Ooooooh! That was sooo good... 
ummmm."

      "Aaaaah."

      "Oooh."

      "Mmmmm."

      And on she went. Meanwhile, ear pressed against
her door, Misato was debating whether or not to burst
in on the two of them. After much consideration, she
turned around and headed to the nearest bar. 

 	*		*		*

      At breakfast the next morning, Misato observed
both Shinji and Asuka very carefully. Shinji, in his
apron, was serving breakfast. He was just like he
usually was except that he looked just a little tired
and occassionally snuck a quick glance at Asuka. The
object of his attentions meanwhile was definitely
Miss Sunshine. She smiled broadly as she ate her 
breakfast heartily.

      As Shinji, sans apron, returned to the table 
and settled down into his cup of tea, Misato decided 
to strike.

      "So what were you both doing last night before
I got back from headquarters?"

      Shinji nearly choked on his tea. Asuka, on
the other hand, seemed completely unperturbed.

      "Television. Homework. Sleep," she shrugged.

      "Really? Anything else? Anything at all?"

      Shinji was blushing as he set his cup down
on the table with shaking hands. Asuka's brows
were furrowed in thought, her finger on her chin.

      "Oh come on, you two. 'Jawohl mein fuhrer.
Heil Asuka?'"

      Shinji turned even redder. Asuka's eyes lit
up and she exclaimed,"Oh! Last night! Yeah! Hey,
you tell her, Shinji!"

      Shinji could only stutter helplessly,
overwhelmed by his shyness and embarrassment.

      "Oh come on, Shinji! You can tell Misato.
She probably just wants you to service her as
well." All the colour drained from Shinji's face
as he clasped his hands over his mouth.

      "Asuka!" Misato was really shocked at
how casually Asuka was treating this whole matter.
"This is something very special between you and
Shinji-kun. How can you talk about it like that?"

      "Why not?"

      "Asuka! You and Shinji-kun have just become
one in body and soul... don't you feel anything
about it?"

      "What are you talking about, Misato? I would 
hardly call getting a foot massage becoming one in 
body and soul!"

      Misato was very confused. "Foot massage? You
mean the two of you didn't... didn't..."

      "Didn't what!?" Asuka demanded. Shinji looked
like he wanted to hide under the table.

      "You know..." said Misato reluctantly. "That...."

      Asuka's eyes widened again. "Oh mein Gott!!!
Misato! How could you think I would demean myself
like that! Shinji's a wimp and a pervert! I wouldn't 
get with him even if he were the last male on earth!
Augh! Yuck!!! That's disgusting!"

      Misato had already fallen off her chair.

	*		*		*

      Asuka and Shinji were walking side by side, on
their way back home from school. The former was humming 
a tune while the latter looked positively downcast.

      "Hey Shinji. Why so gloomy?"

      "Asuka... I..."

      "Oh, stop giving me that sad puppy dog look.
What's the matter with you!? You've been like that
the whole day!"

      "Did you... did you really mean what you said
this morning?"

      "Hmm?... Oh that. Of course not! You have to 
thank me for my quick thinking. Otherwise Misato 
would have had both our asses."

      "I'm sorry, Asuka. Thanks."

      "That's better. You're such a lousy liar."

      "Sorry."

      "Oh, you can make it up to me later," said
Asuka as she casually reached over and pinched 
Shinji's butt. "Misato's working late again tonight."

End.

	*		*		*

Notes

      I'm really a Rei person but Asuka can be 
fun to write, especially when she's in character.

      The idea for "Jawohl mein Fuhrer" came from
a Calvin and Hobbes strip. It was Calvin's response
to Rosalyn's (his baby-sitter) instructions.

      The phrase "Heil Asuka!" seems so appropriate
given Asuka's German heritage and her domineering
nature. In "Allo Allo", this device was used to great 
effect. A whole room of people saluting and screaming
"Hail Hilter!" one after another. Then Hilter himself
emerges from a doorway - looking short, pompous and
slightly disoriented - and declares "Hail myself."


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(email: toheel@singnet.com.sg)

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