Authored by Godsend777 All characters belong to GAINAX Do not post without permission. All situations just happen The Death of One 6 Put the Past Behind Us/The Future is Ours He'd been standing here for nearly six hours straight, looking into the murky brown waters of the newest 'lake.' He knew that several small metal signs would be erected in a few days that would read one thing. Tokyo-3 Memorial Lake. He didn't find it funny, as some people had. He didn't find it sad, as most others thought. He'd simply found it... Stupid. Everything was slowly becoming so damn stupid. No, not stupid. Stupid was too... low a word to describe what everything had turned into. Unfair was a much better description. Rei was gone, simple as that. He'd briefly hoped that the Commander might have used another, but Ritsuko had taken that chance away from him. Besides, he hated himself for what he was, so why should he wish that fate on another person? So he stood. He was lonely. He was depressed. But luckily for everyone around him, he was no longer angry. That had been taken care of immediately after the last battle. =*= When he saw the explosion, he raged. A primal scream welled up from the very depths of his soul as Eva Unit 01 tried to break free from its restraints to avenge his fallen lover. Misato was screaming at him to stop, but he didn't care. The three bridge technicians were frozen in fear. Good. Gendo stared at him silently as Fuuyutsuki frowned, the latter apparently ready to accept his possible fate. He did not hear Asuka. Strangely, the fact drove him even angrier. He had already made sure in no uncertain terms that he wanted nothing to do with her. So why should her sudden absence bother him? He had made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her, even if she made him feel strange. The Eva tore through the restraints fairly easily when the thought of Asuka's, as well as Rei's, deaths entered his mind. It was almost as if... it was acting on its own. But it didn't matter. Vengeance was needed regardless of the tools used. He would kill this Angel and anything that stood in his way. The Eva made its way to the nearest catapult and triggered the release mechanism. He knew that with the city destroyed he'd have to break through the blast doors, but he'd do it. There was nothing to stop him. There would be no pressurizing of LCL. There would be no interference from the Dummy Plug. There was just he and Eva, clawing their way to the Geofront, one hand implanting itself in the steel wall one at a time as the two slowly but surely made their way up the catapult. He was determined that nothing would stop him. But something did. Somewhere on the way up, the smoke had cleared on the battlefield and the sensors came back on line, revealing what was left. Just how long had he been climbing anyway? *Status!?* He heard Misato cry. *Uh...the Target has been destroyed, Ma'am.* He felt his heart sink. What was there to take vengeance on now? What was there to dispense his wrath on? *And the pilots?* *There is no sign of the First Child...* He was snapped out of his trance. His limbs felt heavy, and he knew that it would be hopeless to try to continue. Why did he feel so sad? And why did Eva continue to move? *Second Child's life signs confirmed. Sending a recovery team out ASAP.* And suddenly it stopped. The Eva lurched in its place; it's hands stuck in the metal shaft that surrounded it, and then stopped. 'Of course.' He remembered thinking. And then the sudden pressurization of the chamber caused him to black out. =*= The sound of humming brought him out of his reflection. He slowly turned to the side; his full intent to tell the person to go away so that he might be alone to think. The boy's mouth opened and his lips were about to speak when he turned and smiled at him, eyes closed. "Do not be sad. I do not think she would want that." Then, still smiling, he opened his eyes to reveal a shade of red not unlike Rei Ayanami's. The Project. Ikari's eyes narrowed to slits. "Who are you." "M-Misato...?" She asked. Her voice was dry and cracked, and she needed water badly. As if on cue, the elder woman handed her a glass of the liquid. She drank it down, letting the fluid slowly flow over her parched mouth and throat. Finally, she finished, handing the glass back to her roommate. "What are you doing here?" She thought she saw Misato's eyes narrow a bit when she asked that, but her vision was fuzzy and she couldn't be sure... "I was worried!" She said quickly. "Why else would I be here!?" "I'm sorry... just never woke up to anyone like this before..." Her eyes softened and she smiled. "I'm just worried about you..." She said, setting the glass down onto a night- stand next to her. "..." "How do you feel?" "Where's Rei?" Asuka asked, staring directly at Misato. The purple haired woman's face simply fell, and her eyes became distant with depression. "Misato... where's Rei?" The younger girl asked again, her tone frantic and frightened. She sat up quickly, despite the weakness she felt from being asleep for over twenty hours. "WHERE'S REI!?" Her answer was swift and silent, awkward and graceless, for Misato simply wrapped her arms around the girl and nearly forced her face into her chest. Misato relaxed her chin on Asuka's head, and spoke the words she'd tried to prepare for the past twenty hours. "I'm so sorry..." It was not long before both of them cry into each other for comfort. "Do you like music?" The other boy asked as he trailed a few feet behind Ikari. He was on his way to get something to eat from the cafeteria and hopefully escape his newfound 'friend,' but it seemed that Kaworu Nagisa was not so eager to be left behind.. "Do you like to follow me around?" He asked, gritting his teeth. "I am hungry as well, Shinji-san. I would like to eat before the testing begins." He replied, pulling up beside him and flashing him a smile that reminded him too much of someone he would rather not think about at the moment. "Stop calling me that." He ordered. The other boy just grinned and kept pace. He had tried to speed up his own stride, but the boy easily matched him. Perhaps he should make an impression on him with his fist... "I assure you that fighting me would lead to both of us getting hurt very badly." He said, the smile suddenly shifting from friendliness to what appeared to be smugness. Something that reminded him of someone else he would rather not think about right now. "What do you want?" He asked. Perhaps if he just fulfilled whatever sick needs the boy desired he could be left alone. "To talk." The boy's smile went back to its original state of sickening friendliness as he spoke. Then, as an afterthought, he added, "And to possibly be friends." Ikari suddenly stopped. Friends? Now? Feh. What need was there? Who else could understand his pain? Who else? He looked over to the boy with dusty grey hair and red eyes, almost the exact same colors as his own. The boy closed his eyes and smiled, a smile that radiated that sickening friendliness and warmth. 'Rei had a smile like that,' he thought. Who else could understand his pain? Perhaps someone from the Project? "..." "..." "Call me Ikari, Nagisa-san." "Call me Kaworu, Ikari." "You know.... There's only one more. What will you do?" Asuka, now sitting forward on her bed as Misato sat behind her and brushed her hair, looked straight ahead. She didn't know how to answer, despite the hours, days, even weeks of thought that she had put into the question. More importantly, she felt empty again. Everyone was leaving her, and the feelings she'd thought she'd gotten over were suddenly resurfacing. Was all her growth for nothing? No, she was thinking about herself again. She had to think of something else. Something to drive this... selfishness away. But the only other things she could think about were either Rei or her future. And to be honest, both things depressed her a lot. They made her depressed to the point where she didn't want to so much as even move. "Thank you for doing my hair, Misato." She replied weakly. "It's okay, Asuka. I know that you're very... tired right now." Misato paused in mid-stroke, then asked her question again. "So what will you do?" "I... don't know. The way I see it, Eva technology won't fade away, so I guess I'll be around here for the rest of my life." Behind her, Misato nodded. Eva tech was more than likely going to be around for a long while. The secrets were heavily guarded now, but what would happen when, after the war, people wanted the records? The data? The technology itself? To hand a country that much power... Misato thought that it should never be allowed. *With four Evas, you could rule the world.* She had once said to Ritsuko. Misato pushed those thoughts out of her head when she realized she had stopped brushing. "Misato?" "Hmm?" "What will you do?" Misato didn't even pause to think and just blurted out what her intentions were. "Get that idiot Kaji to straighten up!" She exclaimed. She thought she saw Asuka smile, before it turned into a frown. "You're lucky, Misato..." "Ssshhhh..." Hushed Misato. "He may not be as good to you as our Shinji was, but you'll eventually find someone who cares about you." "I... suppose. I haven't given it much thought..." "I'd say just think of the now, but after asking so many questions about the future, that'd just be wrong. And then there's poor Rei..." "I know, Misato." Asuka muttered, again on the verge of tears. She'd tried not to cry, but every time she thought of Rei, of Shinji, or of anyone who'd left her, the urge would just come back. And worse... she was starting to feel angry again. She knew that if this kept happening, she'd lose it. Her body was already weak from the physical trauma, and the emotional trauma was beginning to get to her physically as well. She knew that between the two, it would be a few days before she got out of the hospital, even if she tried to convince Misato to get her out earlier. In fact, she had a pretty good idea that everyone would say 'You need rest.' And Misato would probably make it an order. So now all she could do was sit here and alternate between depression and anger, and most importantly, do nothing. "Urg." She tried to growl, but found she didn't have the appropriate strength. The sound caused Misato, who had just finished with her hair, to stand up and walk in front of her. "Stay in bed and get some rest, Asuka." She said as she tried to get her to lay back down. "But..." "That's an order." "..." "Sorry, Asuka." "But... I wanted to see Rei..." Misato quickly turned on her heel and walked towards the door. "Just stay in bed, okay? I'll be back as soon as I check on Ritsuko." When the people of NERV first saw how Gendo treated his son, they thought that he was a man who wasn't concerned with the affairs of his family, and could probably care less about them. They would never know how wrong they were. Gendo was a man who did everything for family. He wanted to be with them, and most of all he wanted to be with her. Simply because being with her meant being with them. He thought that if he could be with her, another would want to be with them. In the year 2005 of the Roman calendar, another 'family' member appeared. While there were other, more pressing reasons to keep her close to him, one that permeated through his head more often than not was the fact that she was family. Recently, he thought that all hopes he had of ever becoming family again were dashed. His grip on reality had been fading as well as his abilities and mindset. Why, just last night he had drunk himself into a stupor in his office, mumbling about how God must hate him and humanity, before falling asleep in his chair. Such actions as these were unthinkable. However, such actions had lead to devising a plan. He had thought about it all day as he made the preparations for Rei's 'final resting place.' A shame that there would never truly be one. Her body had to be liquefied and disposed of. So, like his son, there would only be a headstone to mark her passing. 'There would not have been a need for a monument had Doctor Akagi kept away from the Room of the Guf,' he told himself. 'And retribution should have been enacted.' A small voice added. He squashed both of these thoughts; they were unproductive. They caused him to lose control. They caused him to lose sight. He thought about his plan, trying to find the correct way to enact it. Sadly, perfect chances do not come along as often as he would have liked. Or do they? The morning's security reports on the Children had just come across his desk. The Fifth and the 'Third' had met. He would tell Fuuyutsuki to have Security monitor them carefully as soon as the old man got back from his meeting. But the one on Sohryuu... Perhaps God did not hate him after all. He smiled. "I want out of here." Enough strength had returned that she could now make her voice sound angry enough to her liking. After all, she had practiced it enough before Misato came back just to make sure. "You'll be released tomorrow, Asuka." Misato said as she closed the report she was reading. Before her set a small folding table normally used for meals. Resting on the table was a pen and several other reports. When she returned to check on Asuka, she asked Hyuuga to bring these things for her so that she could get work done and look over the girl. Asuka hadn't seemed to mind, but with her current state she could not be sure. "It's her funeral. I want to be there." The younger girl said. "You need rest." Misato replied. "I want out." She ordered. "... I'm sorry." The report was set gently down on the table before her as she reached her other hand forward to grasp another. "..." The air tensed up around the German girl; the only thing permeating it was her breath... "..." and the noise of Misato's report flipping open. "... You should be." Asuka finally said, breaking the awkward silence. "That's not fair!" Misato yelled as she slammed the report down onto the table. The table, not being able to take such stress on its' spindly frames, collapsed into a heap by the older woman's feet. The reports and their contents glided around the floor until the eventually came to rest at multiple spots around the room. "What the hell do you mean!? That I can't even go see someone I cared about buried!?" Asuka shouted back. Sitting in the hospital room for the past day and a half was beginning to make her hostile. The doctors wouldn't even let her go for a walk! "There's nothing to see." Misato angrily spoke as she bent down to pick up the papers that were now strewn on the ground. "I... I... I don't care! It's the principle!" Asuka huffed, clutching her right hand to her chest in both slight surprise at Misato's callousness and a little bit of defiance. "Asuka... they had to... liquefy her remains..." The purple-haired woman whispered; her voice shaking slightly. "Wha... What!?" Her surprise was now fully shown on her face, as well as shock. "You know what she was. You have to understand why they did that." "D-Dammit! Why the hell can't this damn organization leave anyone alone!?" Asuka pounded her bed repeatedly in frustration while wishing that there was something harder and more sturdy to hit. "A-Asuka..." Misato stammered, watching the girl throw a temper tantrum in front of her. It was a sight that she hadn't seen in a long time. "It's because of this stupid place that my friends are gone!" Asuka continued, this time picking up her pillow and hurtling it across the room. "Asuka..." "It's because of this stupid place that Shinji's dead!" She swung her feet off the opposite side of the bed from Misato and began to stand up, but faltered in her attempt. Before her guardian could react in any way, Asuka braced herself against the nightstand next to her. With a wide swing of her hand, she knocked the bedpan and a glass of drinking water to the floor with a loud clash of metal and a high-pitched tinkling of breaking glass. "Asuka!" Misato cried as she ran around the bed to get to the girl. "IT'S BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID PLACE THAT I DON'T HAVE MY MOMMY!!" Asuka finally screamed as she flung her arms wildly in the air before falling on her knees to the floor. The strength she had regained gave way to a feeling of helplessness as she wrapped her arms around her knees and sobbed into them. Misato stood behind her, looking at the redheaded girl's head slowly shake as she sobbed into her legs. And suddenly, she felt hurt. She had looked after both Asuka and Shinji. She had provided a place for them to live, food to eat, and had tried to protect them when she could. She had loved them, although she never had a chance to tell that to Shinji. She'd... been their mother. "Haven't... haven't I been good enough to you?" Misato sniffed. Her own tears threatening to cause her to break down like the girl before her. The only answer Asuka could give was to sob. "Haven't I loved you?" Misato whispered as she wiped away an errant tear from her eye. Asuka began to slowly look up, though her sobbing continued. "Haven't I been a good... mother to you?" Misato finally gave into her feelings and let the tears flow freely down her cheeks. The words struck Asuka, causing her to stop her sobbing and look at Misato in the eyes. Minutes passed as the two remained in their respective positions. Finally, Asuka relented and spoke. "I'm sorry... I just never saw it that way..." Feeling slightly ashamed, Asuka looked down to the ground. "I... see..." She replied in a sad voice. "You've... done a good job, Misato... it's just... you're... not her..." Asuka spoke again; her gaze finding something more interesting on the wall to her left than on the floor. "..." Misato's gaze found its' way to the same point Asuka's had leveled hers. "But... I do love you... in that way..." Asuka spoke, her voice sheepish. Misato let out a small smile as she kneeled down to her charge. "Thank you..." "It's a nice day out, isn't it?" Kaworu sighed as he lifted his right hand to shield his eyes from the sun. Under his left arm, he held two small box lunches. It was now a little past noon, and they had come to the edge of Tokyo- 3 Memorial Lake at Kaworu's insistence. His companion remained silent. Instead, he looked over the water's edge, judging the slight waves to see if they could be threatening or not. His thoughts were interrupted when Kaworu rested a hand on his shoulder. "Relax, Ikari. I will teach you how to swim." He said as he flashed a smile. "..." Mount Morisato. The grim reminder of the war with the Angels was unfazed by the destruction below it. Far outside the city it stood, and probably would for a long time to come. Almost two months ago, Shinji Ikari was 'buried' here, and the whole of Tokyo-3 mourned his loss. Three days ago, Rei Ayanami died. Just yesterday, her 'remains' were placed next to Shinji's. Nobody came. With the city destroyed, there was no populace to mourn her. Ritsuko could not drag herself away from bed, and the rest of the staff was on Yellow Alert due to the reduction of sensors from the destruction of Tokyo-3. She herself was not allowed out of the hospital and Misato had sat by her side until she was released. Not even Gendo had come out to see it from what information she had gotten from the people who placed the headstone. She idly traced a finger of the headstone. It was exactly the same as Shinji's, a tall, black, slim rectangle with a pointed top. "I know you're there..." She began, her hand still tracing the headstone. He nodded. He knew she couldn't see it, but he also suspected that she knew he was doing so. He pushed his glasses back up on his nose, shifted the large brown bag under his arm to a more comfortable position, and stepped forward. "What do you want? It's bad enough you treated them like shit when they were alive. Do you think they want to see you now?" Her words had hurt him despite his preparation. Her words had carried the most venom he had ever felt from any spoken tongue in over ten years despite his defenses. How could this girl hurt him? "Child," He began, pushing his glasses back up his nose again. "Ten years ago I lost my wife. More recently, I have lost my son and a girl that, despite everything I may have done to her, was like a daughter to me." She stepped back. Good. He was not in the mood to be hurt. He had simply come here for two reasons. One was to say goodbye. The other was to regain control. "So I do believe that I have every right to be here." "I don't think you do." She said as she crossed her arms over her stomach and looked away. She was being petulant, and he hated petulant children. Children should listen to what their elders tell them. "So someone that physically and verbally abused their loved ones is a better person than one who sacrifices themselves to defending humanity?" He queried, raising his left eyebrow. Ah, shock. Now if he knew her as well as he thought... "SHUT UP!!" He smiled. He had only meant to smile inwardly, but the sheer enjoyment of everything going as planned; that familiar feeling, overwhelmed him. It did not matter to the girl, however, as she was stomping her foot on the ground in anger and did not take notice. He walked past her and produced two potted lilies from the bag he had brought with him. He felt her behind him, and reached back to hand one to her. "Make yourself useful." He ordered. She gave a low growl, then snatched the offered lily. He pulled out two small shovels and crouched down before Rei's grave. He set the bag and one of the shoves aside and began to dig a hole in the ground. Asuka, more than shocked by his actions, eventually came to her senses and did the same to Shinji's headstone. The two worked in silence, not speaking to each other, not even daring to look at each other. After a bit, Gendo finished and stood back up. He took a step back to survey his work as Asuka hurriedly finished up her portion. She too stood back from the grave, but further than Gendo was in order to see his actions. After a few minutes, she started to get impatient and was about ready to leave, when he spoke. "I can bring them back." Again, that familiar feeling of pleasure from seeing other's surprised or shocked almost came to his face. "W-what? What did you say?" Her throat suddenly went dry with those words. What did he mean? Was he planning to clone them again? "If you're thinking what I-" He turned to her and cut her off abruptly with a scowl. "Sadly, they cannot be cloned again. Thanks to Dr. Akagi, there will be no more Rei Ayanami. And it was sheer luck that I was able to have a replacement for Shinji." "Oh, is that what we are to you?" She said dryly. "Yes." Her temper reached boiling point again as she balled her hands into fists. Commander or no, she was going to hurt him some way or another. "However, I meant that they could come back. Not just clones, but them." He pushed his glasses back onto his nose again and turned back to the headstones. Asuka's anger left her quickly, replaced by confusion. Only one word permeated through her mind, and that was How? "Follow my orders and ask no questions. When I tell you to do something, do it without fail. Understood?" "How do I know you won't trick me?" She asked. "You don't. Do you agree?" "..." "Well?" "... Yes. I agree." Her answer was reluctant and heavy. "I'm skeptical, but I'll agree." "Good. I will contact you if I need you." "You'd better be being straight with me, Ikari." She angrily demanded. "I will." He replied. She snorted than began to walk away. She wanted to be away from him, and she wanted to be quick about it. Besides, now she had to prepare. As she walked away, Gendo Ikari smiled. After he was sure she left, he rested a hand on each headstone and caressed them softly. "Soon... we will be together again..."