Authored by Godsend777 Eva is copyright GAINAX All situations happen Do not post without permission Sue me and I run for border ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The Death of One Tears/Don't Cry For Me Part 5.2 - Stay With Me ----------------------------------------------------------------------- His fingers dance across the strings, a sad melody filling the tiny apartment. It drowns out the monotonous sound of construction in the background, allowing its inhabitants brief respite from the consistent hammering. It is the first time Rei's apartment has ever been filled with the sound of music. The chair he sits on is plain, gently pulled away from the desk it normally serves. Two beds, side by side, vie for small amount of light that pours through the window. Propped up against the dresser are a broom and a mop. It is also the first time her apartment has ever been cleaned. The girl in question stands inside the bedroom doorway. She stares at her new roommate, her usually emotionless face filled with curiosity. He suddenly realizes her presence and stops playing. The slow, steady pounding of construction forces its way back into the apartment. Neither notice. He turns his head towards her and begins to ask the series of questions that have become routine for them these past few days. "How was your day?" She slowly steps over to the dresser and removes the ribbon from her school uniform. "My day was fine. How was yours?" He leans his cello against the wall, gently setting the bow beside it. "My day was fine as well. I cleaned the floors." She walks over to a closet beside the door to the bathroom. Reaching inside, she pulls out a dingy brown towel. "... Thank you." She turns to look at him, but finds his gaze rests on the pair of glasses on her dresser. "It is... no problem. I live here now as well." He turns towards the kitchen area as she makes her way into the bathroom for her afternoon shower. "Yes... yes, you do." She whispers as she slides the door shut. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- In another part of the city, a young redheaded girl leans against a balcony door, head turned towards the city. In her left hand, there lies an open locket with two pictures. "Asuka." She doesn't hear her. She sits there motionless. Misato realizes that she is asleep. "Hey, wake up." She puts her hand on her shoulder to shake her awake, when she notices her left wrist. Leaning closer, she sees that on it is a faint scar. "Hmmm... I knew, but I never noticed... how does she hide it?" She whispers. "Mmmm...." Asuka mumbles. "Eek!" The young girl opens her eyes slowly, trying to focus. Unfortunately, all she sees is Misato's face in front of hers. "AAAAAAAH!!" "AAAAAAAH!!" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MISATO!?!" "I'm sorry, I just..." "Ohhhhhhhhhh! First Rei, now you! You Japanese have no sense of personal space!" "Hey! I was just trying to wake you up! Not my fault you can sleep through an N2 explosion!" "Look who's talking, you lush!! You actually slept through a citywide alert!! How could you do that!?" "HEY!! IT WAS ONLY A STORM!!" "TSUNAMI'S AREN'T STORMS, MISATO!!" "Why, you!" Penpen sighs as he realizes that his afternoon isn't going to be as quiet as he had hoped. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ritsuko stands before Misato's apartment, preparing to knock on the door when the sounds of arguing come from inside the apartment. "Well, at least things are somewhat back to normal." She slides the door open and steps into the hallway. "TSUNAMI'S AREN'T STORMS, MISATO!!!" "Why, you!" And then someone sighs. Is Rei here? PenPen walks by, gives a friendly wark, and proceeds to his freezer. By now, the two females are rolling on the floor, Misato tickling Asuka mercilessly. "Ahem!" They freeze in place as they both look up, embarrassment clearly visible on their faces. It is, after all, not the best position for two women to be in. "Trying to relive our college days, Misato?" Ritsuko says as she smirks. Misato turns beet red, while Asuka slowly backs away. "You said you wouldn't mention that!" The purple-hued woman snaps. Asuka suddenly becomes very afraid, then notices her left wrist. She quickly pushes something up to cover the scar. "So that's how you cover it..." Misato says, a little surprised. "W-what are you talking about?" Asuka replies nervously. "There's no sense in hiding it, Asuka. Both Misato and I know about it. It IS in your file, after all." She sighs. She hates people who poke their noses in places they shouldn't be. "Asuka, you shouldn't have to hide your past from your friends anymore. I thought we talked about that." Misato begins to lecture as she stands up and brushes off her bottom. "Although, it is an interesting use of latex skin." Ritsuko adds. "Most people only use it for masks or other special effects." Asuka stands up as well, her hand still on her wrist. "I... just don't like people to stare at it." "Well, that's understandable." "Can I get you a beer, Ritsuko?" "Ah, no. I'm meeting Rei for dinner soon, and then there's harmonics tests afterwards." She looks at her watch, before adding, "You WILL be there on time, right Major?" "Yes." Misato responds, slightly annoyed. "Good." "So why did you stop by, Ritsuko?" "Well, I came to drop off something Asuka had asked for." "Hmm?" "Wow! Did you get them?" Asuka cries happily as she instantly forgets her wrist and leaps to the doctor's side. "Yes. The MAGI keep a very thorough collection of pictures from the battles. It's a way to help gauge pilot reactions." The doctor reaches into her purse and withdraws a small package. "Thank you!" Asuka says before snatching them and running back to her room. Ritsuko smiles contentedly. "What was that about?" asks Misato. Asuka wasn't one to request stuff, even with all the changes she'd been going through. "She asked for some pictures of Shinji, Rei and herself in battle. Some sort of scrapbook, I'd guess." Misato gives a warm smile. For her, seeing Asuka happy is more important than anything else in the world right now. "I guess she wants to remember all the good times..." Ritsuko nods in agreement. "And the fact that she once again has a higher synch ratio than Rei." Misato adds as she takes a swig of her beer. Ritsuko frowns in disappointment. "She hasn't been harping the poor girl about that, has she?" "No... not really. They have a little friendly competition going. Asuka's actually pretty good until someone brings up Ikari." "Do you think she'll ever accept him?" "No, and I don't know if I will either. But it's only been a week. It will probably take a lot of time before we finally speak to him as a person, let alone actually accept him. After all, he does look like Shinji." Misato frowns at this last part, but replaces her frown with another swig of her beer. Ritsuko looks at her for a few moments before finally deciding to speak. "Misato..." "Hmm?" "Thanks... for still being my friend." She looks away, embarrassment slightly showing on her face. Again, Misato smiles. She lays a reassuring hand on Ritsuko's shoulder and squeezes gently. "No problem..." The Doctor returns the smile. Since Rei opened up to her, she has come to know the value of friendship. And Misato is a friend that is better to have by your side. "But don't bring up our college days in front of anyone ever again, or I'll tell everyone what I saw you and Maya do two nights ago in the lab room." "Er..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ FOUR DAYS EARLIER: KENSUKE AND HIKARI "HE'S WHAT!?!" Two voices screech in unison. Misato flinches backward at their combined might. "I said he's alive." She responds flatly, hoping that they listen to this next part. "Where is he!?" Kensuke asks. "Does Touji know!?" Hikari joins. "Is he okay!?" They both ask simultaneously. Misato begins to wonder exactly how much time they have been spending together lately to synch this well. She also hopes it would be nothing that Touji might have to beat up Kensuke over. "He's... fine. But he... suffered a little brain damage. He's... been rendered emotionless, and he doesn't remember things very well..." "Oh, my." Hikari says, putting her hand up to her mouth. "But he's alright?" Kensuke asks. Misato stares at him for a moment, wondering if he actually heard her. "Aside from that, yes." "Is he at your place?" Hikari asks. Misato looks down. "The... only one he remembers clearly... is Rei. He's living with her right now..." "Oh, Misato... I'm so sorry..." Hikari says softly as she reaches out an arm and touches Misato tenderly. However, Hikari is surprised when Misato wraps her arms around her and hugs her closely. "Ummm... M-Misato... Th-there are-" "I'm sorry, Hikari... but Asuka's taking it rough...and..." She lowers her voice so that Kensuke can't hear her. It wasn't much of a problem, as he was looking away with a handkerchief up to his nose. "And I need you to be there for her. He doesn't remember her, and in his current... mindset, doesn't want anything to do with her." The young girl's face gets determined as her protective side asserts itself. "Then I'll yell at him until-" "NO. Just be her friend, okay?" Surprised that Misato spoke sternly, she nods in agreement. Misato then releases her from the hug. "Now why don't you go see Touji. He's waiting down the hall. I told him yesterday, and he's very confused, even though Shinji came down to see him." "Okay. Thank you, Misato." Hikari says as she smiles. She politely bows, then grabs Kensuke by the arm and runs towards Touji's room. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ONE DAY BEFORE THAT: TOUJI'S HOSPITAL ROOM "I'm... sorry. What did you just say, Misato?" "Shinji's alive." Her face is cold, unemotional. She hates to use this face for her job, but it is a necessary evil. "Wh... what?" "Shinji survived the angel attack that happened two months ago." Commander Ikari had wanted Shinji's 'resurrection' to remain classified, there were already too many rumors going around about the Third Children being up and about. Not only that, but Touji was in the same hospital he was. If he saw him... "Then... what did we bury? What's under that monument?" He looks up at her, his face showing confusion and doubt. "We... buried his plugsuit. At the time... there wasn't anything left of him..." It was the truth. The public didn't know, but it was the truth. There WAS nothing left. "I don't believe you." He says as he balls up his good fist. "This is some sick joke, or I'm dreaming, or maybe I've lost it, but it's not true." He looks to the ground, unable to face her. She isn't surprised. After all, she had trouble believing it herself. "Why do you not believe her?" A voice asks. "Because Shinji's dead." He replies. "But I am right here." Touji gasps as he realizes the voice. He snaps his head towards the direction and now sees that it isn't a joke; that Shinji is indeed alive. However, in his mind, the thoughts of dreams and insanity still do not vanish. "You do not believe her. You do not believe me." Shinji calmly states. "What are you doing out of your room, Pilot Ikari?" Misato asks. The anger is clear in her voice. After all, he shouldn't be wandering around NERV installations without supervision. "I am checking out. I am going to live with Rei. Please have my things shipped accordingly." He speaks softly; then turns to leave. Suddenly, he stops and turns to look at Touji. "I am sorry for what happened to you. You did not deserve such misfortune." And then, he leaves. "Sh-Shinji?" Touji whispers. "I'm... afraid so..." "That wasn't him..." He clutches the sheets under his remaining hand and forces himself into an upright position. "That wasn't my friend." Misato sadly nods in assent. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- PRESENT: Asuka places each of the pictures into the photo album she had bought two days ago. Shinji's SDAT player hangs loosely onto her shorts as she listens to his tape. More accurately, a tape Misato had made from his solo performance at the school. The sound of his cello fills her ears, and she becomes oblivious to everything else except the task of placing the pictures into the photo album. Still, she surprises herself by not crying. After she finishes the current page, she takes a small break to figure out which photos to put in the next section. She picks up a few that were of the synch tests instead of combat situations. Particularly, one of Shinji wiping his brow off as he stepped out of Eva-01. Instead of the usual frown that plagued his face when he was near the Eva, he was smiling. She tried to remember when it was taken, but those thoughts were interrupted as she studied the picture closer. He was smiling. He was sweaty, and was covered in LCL. His plug suit was very tight against his body, since that was its job. But in this picture it looked very... stimulating. She shakes her head, trying to get these thoughts out of it. After all, Shinji wasn't the most attractive person. He was kind of scrawny, a little weak, and definitely needed to get out in the sun more. But he still had a cute butt. She smiles, as it was an interesting thought. After all, she had admitted she loved him, but she had never thought about him sexually much. Except the time she kissed him. Or thought about it when Misato was out with Kaji. Or various other times she now had to admit to. "Hey, I'm a healthy 14 year-old girl. Of course I have these thoughts." She says aloud. Another smile crosses her face as she thinks about how cute he sometimes could be. She even thinks about all the times she teased him, and how cute he looked then, too. These were her memories now, and no one could take them away. Not even the Angels. The Angels. Her body shudders involuntarily. The thought of these creatures made her just too angry to think. They were the reason Mama died! They killed Shinji! They made her feel dirty! They brought that little pretender to torture her! And he looks just like him! How DARE he! He looks just like him... Just like the man she loved... **Because now there is something to remind me of him** She wishes she could look at it like Rei... Again, she looks at the picture. **It feels good to know that I am not alone** She wishes that she had swallowed her pride and opened herself to him. Just to have had him near her once, to have lain beside him... **Because now there is something to remind me of him** To have taken him inside her. Just once. To have been man and woman... She laughs to herself. With her luck, she would have gotten pregnant. But would that have been so bad? To have his child? It looked like him. It was his body. But it wasn't his mind. She rests the picture on the nightstand next to her bed. She did not notice the music had stopped. It did not matter. She had some thinking to do. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "How are the tests going, Dr. Akagi?" Gendo asks as he steps into the testing room with Fuuyutsuki. "Fine." She replies, not looking up. "How's your bridgework?" Gendo's face darkens and he ignores the light smile Fuuyutsuki flashes. He idly touches the left side of his face. The bruises had faded, but today's earlier visit to the dentist left his jaw smarting. The novocaine had worn off, and he was not happy. "That is irrelevant. How are the tests going, Dr. Akagi?" "See for yourself." 'Dick.' She mentally adds. Gendo looks over the synch ratios and smiles. Rei's stays at 85%. Asuka's fluctuates between 96-97%. And Shinji's mysteriously remains at a constant 100%. "Shinji is the one we're concerned about the most. His extremely high synch ratio is very disturbing..." "No matter. Do you have Eva-01's new core results?" "Yes. All results imply that Eva-01 is back to the way it was before the attack of the 14th. Everything seems to be okay, except for his synch ratio being abnormally high." Gendo chuckles to himself for a second. Everyone stares at him, but he ignores them. "Keep me informed." He orders before leaving the room. He quickly walks back to his office, leaving a confused Fuuyutsuki behind him. As the door shuts behind him, he can't help but laugh until tears spill down his cheeks. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile, Shinji stares at the retreating form of his father from inside the entry plug. He flips a switch on his handles to cut off the outside speaker. Right now, he needs total privacy. "I am not sure I can do this..." He listens, as if someone is speaking to him. "I know, but..." He stops again, as if interrupted. After a minute, he speaks. "I think you are just as bad as he is. So far, all you have done is use me to tie up your loose ends." Again, he is silent. "That is not the point. I will not run away. I know this needs to be done; I am just voicing my opinion." Another second of silence, before, "...I hate this thing..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Asuka sits in her entry plug, a slight smile on her face. "Mama..." She relaxes, and lets her barriers down. As before, a million warm feelings enter her mind. "I'm here..." She feels the Eva around her as she synchs with it. She almost feels as though she IS the Eva, but those thoughts are interrupted when a comm- window pops up to her right. She turns her head to look at it. "Asuka." "Hey, Rei." "You... seem happy..." "I just like being here." She replies, resting her head back on the pilot seat. Rei looks down for a second, as if trying to summon up the courage to say something. Finally, she looks back at Asuka and speaks her mind. "Asuka... can you... help me?" She asks. For what is the first time to Asuka's eyes, Rei slightly fidgets. "Hmm? What is it?" "...It is about Ikari." Asuka groans loudly. "You couldn't ask me to go shopping with you, could you?" "I am sorry. If it is an inconvenience to you, then I will not speak about it." "It's not an 'inconvenience.' But we'll talk later about it, okay?" "... Thank you." Rei blushes a little before turning off the comm- window. 'She hasn't... fallen for him... has she?' Asuka asks herself. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "So what's your problem, Rei?" Asuka asks as she leans against her locker. She had run back here afterwards to avoid any meetings with 'Shinji.' Plus she wanted to hear what Rei had to say. However, Rei was taking her time, leaving Asuka impatient. Rei changes slowly, trying to find the right words to say. After a few minutes, she finally answers Asuka's question. "I... feel strange... when I am around him." She says as she buttons up her blouse. Asuka tries not to let any emotion show on her face. Especially since she didn't like where this is heading. Rei finishes tying the bow on her school uniform, then turns to face her. "It is like... when He was alive... except greater..." She picks up her bag and makes her way to the door with Asuka. "So... you think you love him..." Asuka whispers. "I... do not know..." She looks up towards the ceiling, a hint of a smile on her face. "But... Ikari is kind to me..." Her face turns down toward the floor "Like He was..." Asuka nods. Shinji was probably the only person that treated Rei kindly when he was alive. "What... should I do?" Rei asks, turning to Asuka. Asuka falters for a moment, not sure if she wants to say the words on her mind. She doesn't want to hurt her friend, but she knows that it should, at least, be said. "Rei... I don't think you should trust him too much..." "Why not?" "Because... he's not Shinji! He's not the man we fell in love with!" Asuka yells. Rei flinches back. What Asuka said was true, but... "I know... But I feel much of the same towards Ikari." She pauses, sadness briefly covering her face. "Is the... human heart... so easily swayed?" Asuka stares at her, her face filled with what seems like pity. Then, she rests her hand on Rei's shoulder, before pulling her into a hug. "No... but sometimes, when I look at him... I can see what you mean..." "..." Rei replies, before silently returning the hug. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Do you want to come over tonight?" Misato had been waiting at the end of the hall for the two girls. Ritsuko had to leave early for some reason, crushing her hopes of a late night barhop. "No thank you, Major Katsuragi. Ikari and I are going to clean the apartment." Rei responds. "Oh, come on! I'm sure he can manage without you for one night!" "I am... sorry Asuka. It is something that needs to be done." For some reason she cannot define, she feels a little guilty. Perhaps she has been spending too much with Ikari... "... Okay. But if you change your mind, feel free to come over. C'mon, Asuka." "Good night Major Katsuragi, Asuka." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Any plans tonight, Asuka?" Asks Misato on the drive home. "Huh? Nah... just think I'll go to bed after watching a little TV. For some reason, I get really tired when I'm in Eva anymore." "Well, your synch ratio went up to 97% today. That's the highest it's been since the last battle." She says, looking over at Asuka with a little pride on her face. "I'd rather not talk about the last one." Asuka says softly. "... I understand." Misato returns her attention to the road before her. Ritsuko and Rei were busy, Asuka wasn't going to be much fun tonight, and PenPen didn't make too good a date. Sigh. What to do? "No chance you'd wanna go barhopping tonight, is there?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "What time is it?" "Two o'clock in the morning." "I see... That took a while. I had not expected that." Rei gets up off her bed and heads to the bathroom. Shinji, towel slung over his shoulder, finishes washing the dishes. "Your apartment has been never cleaned, save the floor. I am surprised that it did not take longer." He calls over to her. She walks back out, clad only in her bra and panties. "Rei?" He asks. It is the first time he has seen her like this, despite the fact that they have been living with each other for a week now. He suddenly feels his face heat up, and another part of him feels... odd. To see her dressed like this... he cannot place it. She leans closer to him and begins to encircle her arms around his neck. She moves slowly, not wanting to frighten him. His only response is to stand there dumbly. She rests her head against his cheek, and her body pushes close to his. Something he had never thought much of responds to this closeness. "I... just wanted to thank you... for being here... I no longer feel ... sad." She whispers softly. "So... thank you for being here. You have helped me feel better about myself... since He died..." He looks at her as she turns her head to see him. She is now smiling slightly, and her eyes are full of emotion. An image flutters though his mind: soft lips, blue eyes, and red hair. Of course, in this moment of peace, it would be her. "Ikari? Are you okay?" "I am... fine. It must be the... cleaning detergents." "Oh... I see." She releases her embrace and steps towards the shower. "I just wanted to say thank you... and that I am glad you are with me." Again, he is awestruck, but quickly regains composure and smiles at the girl. "I am glad that I am here with you as well." She smiles, then closes the bathroom door behind her as she goes about her shower. Ikari, now left to his thoughts, asks himself: "Why... do I think of her?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Asuka! Rei!" "Hey, Hikari." "Good Morning, Horaki-san." "Is something wrong? Both of you look tired." She asks. It is not unusual for her to be worried. After all, she feels the two have been through too much of late. "Misato was bored and didn't let me get to sleep until two." Asuka covers her mouth as she yawns widely. "Ikari and I were up half the night-" Two surprised glares nearly cut her off in mid-sentence. "-cleaning the apartment." "Oh." They both sigh; one relieved for a reason she cannot define, the other due to her normally worried nature. "I have never cleaned it before, and it took a long time." "You mean you've NEVER cleaned it before?" Hikari asks, more than surprised. Since she was the one who normally took care of her home, she thought cleaning was a necessity. "I have never seen the point." "..." "Hey, ladies." "Kensuke. Joy." Comments a sarcastic redhead as she rolls her eyes. "Hey, Kensuke." Hikari chirps. She was spending a bit of time with him lately, and they had become pretty close. With all of Asuka's problems of late, and Touji in the hospital, she had no one to talk to. And with Shinji gone, and Touji in the hospital, she was sure Kensuke was in the same position. "Aida-san." "Hikari, Rei..." He gave a happy smile. "Asuka." His voice drips with acid as his smile turns into a frown. "Hmph!" "Anyways, I have tickets to a movie tonight, 'Loveless.' I was wondering if you all were interested?" "Isn't that a chick-flick?" Asks Asuka suspiciously. "Well, Touji thought..." "Touji!" Hikari hadn't seen him since she and Kensuke found out about Ikari. The students found themselves loaded down with more homework than ever, and chances to see him were becoming rare. "Well, he's been up and about and everything around the hospital for two weeks now. Plus, he doesn't go to Tokyo-2 for his prosthetics for another few days.... So he wants to take us out to a movie." Kensuke placed a hand behind him, and scratched the back of his head absently. Hikari picked up that he was uncomfortable doing this. "But why the chick-flick?" A still-irate Asuka asks. Of course, Asuka was not helping. "Well... he wanted to go to something everyone could enjoy... Besides, I hear it's really good." Kensuke's courage that he had built up to do this seemed to be slipping. Hikari decided to help relieve some of that by being her cheerful self. "Well, I'm going! How about you two?" "Dr. Akagi, Maya, and I are going to dinner tonight." Rei states, plain as day. "I have something planned..." Asuka speaks up as well, her voice trailing off as she thinks of something that Hikari can't quite decipher. "Well, it's me, you and Touji, I guess." "What about Ikari?" This question from Rei startles everyone. Hikari guessed she hadn't heard what Touji thought of him. "Touji... doesn't want to be around him... he doesn't think it's him..." Kensuke tries to explain, but it doesn't come out right. After all, he still hadn't seen him. "I see..." Rei took her seat and began to stare out the window, as Asuka excused herself to use the bathroom. "What's with them?" Hikari asks. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Rei? Is something wrong?" "No, Dr. Akagi." "Rei, we're not at NERV. Call me Ritsuko." "I am sorry, Dr. Akagi." Ritsuko sighs before returning to her meal. To her left is Maya, who giggles at the conversation. Rei sits across from them, watching the two with interest. Before this, they had stopped at a clothing store for a dress for her to wear. She didn't know why, and didn't ask either. But Ritsuko and Maya had chosen a black evening dress with long sleeves. She didn't know if it looked nice, but it didn't feel uncomfortable. Therefore, she had no problem. However, the three of them seemed to attract a lot of attention from some of the male patrons in restaurant. Maya straightens out her brown evening dress before placing a napkin in her lap. The restaurant they were in was one of the few Italian places left in Tokyo-3. The lighting was dimmed, the food was excellent, and had Rei not been here; this could have been a very romantic time between her and Ritsuko. "Why did you bring us here, Dr. Akagi?" Another sigh. "Rei, please call me Ritsuko when we're not at work. Right now, I'm your friend, not your doctor." The young girl nods. "Okay. Now, there are two reasons why I asked you both out tonight." She looks at Maya, then at Rei, and smiles warmly. She lifts a wineglass to her lips, then proceeds to stand up. She coughs into her hand, as if to make a speech, then speaks loudly. "As of today, I no longer love Gendo Ikari." Maya gasps slightly as Rei's eyes widen noticeably. "Well, actually, I realized it a few days ago. But the important thing is that I'm over him." She smiles, resumes her seat, and again raises the wineglass to her lips. While Maya had instantly taken to chatting with Ritsuko about her proclamation, Rei's mind was still trying to take in what the doctor had just said. By not loving Commander Ikari, did that break one of the things that her and Ritsuko had in common? Did that make their friendship worthless? After all, she still thought about her feelings for the commander quite frequently. She reaches for the glass of water before her and sees that Ritsuko and Maya are still talking. Maya is holding one of Ritsuko's hands and congratulating her on getting over Commander Ikari. She stares at Ritsuko for a while longer, thinking about how she had gotten over him. Every time she was with the doctor, she always thought of her. She didn't really think- The glass of water drops from her hands at her sudden realization. Every time she was with Ritsuko, she thought of Ritsuko. Every time she was with Asuka or Misato, she thought of Asuka or Misato. And every time she was with Ikari, she thought of Ikari. But when she was with these people, she didn't think of Commander Ikari. And when she was with them, she felt different, pleasant feelings. But thinking about him; he who had used his son; he who had used her and Dr. Akagi; he who had used Asuka and Misato; she didn't feel the same, pleasant feeling she used to when she was with him. Did that mean she didn't love him as well? "Rei? Are you okay?" Maya was looking at her worriedly while Ritsuko kneeled beside her chair. The glass of water had fallen to the floor forgotten, and water had soaked the front of her dress. "I... am fine..." "Do you need to go home?" "No... I wish to stay with you and Maya. I... am happy for you, Dr... Ritsuko...san." The words are hard to get out, and they stumble upon each other. It is nor her shock at Ritsuko's revelation; it doesn't feel right to call Ritsuko by her first name. "Thank you, Rei." "And... I think that I... do not love him either..." Again, Maya gasps. Ritsuko takes Rei's hand in hers, and squeezes it gently. "Do this mean that we're no longer fools?" She asks, tears beginning to brim her eyes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- She nears their apartment, her heart unsure of the decision her mind has made. As she walks, the two forces debate. 'It is him.' 'It isn't him.' 'It's his body.' 'It's not his body.' "Does it matter?" She asks aloud. Although why she would speak to herself this way eludes her, it does the job of silencing the opposing forces. After walking in silence, she finds herself standing before their door. 'Do not do this.' 'Do it. It's what you want.' 'He is not Shinji.' 'He is male; you are female. You are attracted to him. In body, if not in soul. It is right.' 'Do not do this.' "Shut up!" She screams In her anger, she hits the doorbell. Nothing happens, Again, she pushes the button. And again, nothing happens. 'Damn! It must be broken!' She pushes it repeatedly, still hearing nothing that sounds like a doorbell. But... something else echoes throughout the inside of the apartment. It is soft and melancholy; yet striking and wonderful. It is the sound of a cello. She tries the handle to the door, and finding it unlocked, slowly opens it. "Ikari?" She asks. But the music is too loud, or the boy too lost in its rhythm to respond. She makes her way through the foyer and into the kitchen area. Peering into the bedroom, she sees him sitting on a chair, head nodding slowly to the melody of the instrument. His back is to her; and she cannot see the look on his face. **That was very good, Shinji. I didn't know you played.** She had said that to Shinji. When she walked in on Him then, He had a look of utter peace across his face. The piece reached a crescendo, and she recognizes it as one He had once played before an audience. More accurately, the school performance Misato had suggested. ** "C'mon, Shinji. A lot of other people will be doing it. You won't be the only one." Misato said. This was one of her attempts to boost Shinji's confidence. "I don't know Misato... there's only five other people in the school who can play..." Then he did as he usually did, and stared at the ground. "Oh, let the baby alone. I bet he's too scared to play before an audience. Even though he won't be the only one." She huffed out. He could be so dense sometimes. "I'm not afraid Asuka." He said without much conviction. "Yes you are! You're so afraid of others that you can't even do something that you're halfway decent at!" She screamed and pointed. "Yeah, Shinji!" Misato chimed in. "You're very good! Why don't you give it a try?" "I still don't know..." "I CAN make this an ORDER, Pilot Ikari!" Misato snapped. Asuka guessed that she was frustrated with Shinji's cowardice as well. "You won't, will you?" He looked up at Misato. Even though Asuka didn't see his face, she knew he was afraid. She just couldn't understand why. "No. But at least give a little more thought to it, Shinji." "... I will." And he had. Two weeks later, he took the stage. Alone. It had been her, Misato, Kaji, Hikari, and the other two stooges. They sat in the back of the theater. The rest of the crowd was filled with teachers and students who had nothing else to do. With the angel attacks, more and more places were being closed down, leaving the kids with little to nothing left to do. The stage had five chairs, and each chair had an instrument. Before each of them was a music stand; in the center a microphone. "Why hasn't it started yet?" Touji asked. Asuka didn't really care, as she was firmly attached to Kaji's left arm. "I don't know..." Hikari replied. "But I know Kobayashi was sick today... and Hotaru and Tezuka haven't been in school for the past few days..." "That leaves a three-piece band. How are they going to pull that off?" "What do you mean they're not coming!?!" The entire audience snapped their heads towards the front of the auditorium. They could see Shinji near the side curtain. He sounded scared. Then she heard something muffled. She had guessed it was a teacher talking. "I can't go out there alone!!" He almost screamed. The teacher, apparently not taking a no for an answer, pushed him out in front of the audience. "Oh, THIS ought to be good." She smiled. Then she saw his expression. He was afraid. Even from the back of the small auditorium could she see the sweat on his face. He looked off stage, then walked over to the microphone. "Umm... t-the other p-people couldn't... er... make it," "Oh, Shinji." Misato gasped. "S-so I'll uh... be s-solo on the cello." He finally finished. He had been fidgeting nervously the entire time. She had actually felt so sorry for him that she couldn't look at him. She turned to Misato and Kaji, both of whom were staring at the front intently. Misato looked a little pale; probably worry for Shinji, and Kaji looked concerned as well. 'Hmph! All for Shinji the hero!' She thought. She turned to Hikari and the stooges. They, too, had their eyes fixated on him. Hikari had a hand over her mouth in shock; the other was resting on Touji's arm. Touji didn't notice; he looked angry at something. More than likely the fact that the other students hadn't shown up. Kensuke filmed the event, of course. She turned back to the front when she heard him begin. He messed up the first few notes, but kept trying nonetheless. He was on the verge of tears. After a few moments, he seemed about to give up. That was when Touji stood up. "You can do it, Ikari!!" He yelled. "Show them how good you are!!" "Yeah!" Kensuke said as he suddenly stood up beside him. "Go for it, Shinji!" Shinji, at first taken aback at the display, snapped out of it and smiled back at them. He placed the bow on the cello and tried again. He started a little off-key, but it was soon forgotten as the sad melody filled the auditorium. She caught little snippets of 'Wow!' and 'He's pretty good!' She herself was amazed. She had heard him play before, but it hadn't quite sounded like this. It was beautiful and sad, and reverberated throughout the auditorium. It caught her attention at full, and she slowly found herself not paying attention to Misato and Kaji's conversation or Hikari's and the stooges. Instead, she was staring at him intently, and found herself feeling very proud of him. ** That seemed like so long ago; when, in reality, it was about three months ago. Oh God. Three months. Had that much time passed? "Pilot Sohryuu. May I ask what you are doing here?" Her lapse of thought left her unguarded. In that time, he had finished and was taking notice of her. "Oh... uh..." She flushes, very surprised. "Well, I'm..." She tries again. He stares at her, his red eyes piercing her soul, stripping away at her barriers. There were times when Shinji could do the same. "I mean-" This wouldn't do, however. She needed something, anything to counter this. Summoning her resolve, she speaks again. "I need to speak to you." She is surprised at how mechanical her voice comes out. While she had not meant to do it, it works all the same. "About what?" She takes a step towards him and quickly grabs his shoulders. "It's his body, isn't it?" She asks, straight to the point. She looks in his eyes; he looks away. "Because if it is..." Her voice begins to tremble again. "If there's any of him in you..." Still, he does not look at her. "Then I want one good memory of me and him... just us two..." She leans closer to his face, her lips right before his. A tear, like so many before it, rolls down her cheek. "Just us two as one..." She kisses him. It is not passionate, nor loving. It is not sweet, nor tender. It simply is. After all, she is not doing this out of love. She is doing this in the hopes that there is some part of him that is Shinji. She does this for one good memory. He breaks it first and moves his head away from hers. She draws him closer and lifts one of his hands to her breast. Another of her arms encircles his waist and pulls him against her. Then, she kisses him again. He becomes lost. As before, he cannot shake this feeling, this warmth that seems to invade him. Since he has first 'met' her, he has thought of her. When Rei got close, he thought of her. And now, her lips against his, her body against his, his hand on her breast, everything is forgotten. He feels her through the fabric of her dress and begins to back slowly away. Yet, through all this, something seems wrong. **It's his body, isn't it?** No, it was HIS body. Not the body of Shinji Ikari, the boy that Asuka loved, that Rei loved, that damn near everyone else loved. This was HIS body, the body of Ikari. And he'd be damned if anyone would use it for their own purposes. He violently pushes her to the ground in a faint replay of another incident from another lifetime. "I am not HIM." He says sternly. His eyes are narrowed, his eyes rapidly filling with hatred for being used. "But-" "I am Ikari. I am not Shinji." "No! I won't accept that!! You still remember certain things, I know you do!!" She screams. "You play the cello like him! Rei tells me you cook and clean like him!! YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HIM!!" She finishes. Her scream echoes throughout the apartment like the music before it. However, her scream is full of grief and regret, not the sweet sadness that punctuated the air earlier. He calms himself, and reaches out to her. His hand comes to her shoulder and he squeezes it softly. "I am not him." He states. "He is... no longer here." Her face becomes deathly silent, as any hope that might have returned with him dies away. He turns towards the cello, and picks it up. "Do you know why I preferred to be called Ikari?" She shakes her head numbly, still in shock from what he has just said. "Ikari means Wrath. Gendo and SEELE have overstepped their boundaries as men." He draws the bow across the strings, and begins to play. "I will see to it that they will not succeed." "Shinji... said something... about that..." "My... birth into this world caused Shinji to pass on. It is... difficult for two of the same soul to exist at the same time." "So you are him!!" She gasps. "No. I am unique, just as Rei is unique. While I, her, or even you are replaceable, each different... incarnation is a person unto themselves." He puts the bow down as he lifts his head to face her. "Be patient, Pilot Sohryuu. In one way or another, you'll see him soon." "What does that mean!" 'She's crying again.' he finally notices. 'No, she never stopped.' A soft voice calls from the back of his head. 'End this.' It commands. 'But-' 'End this now.' "Please leave, Pilot Sohryuu. I am not yours to use at your desire. I am sorry that you regret not... sharing yourself with Shinji, but I will not allow myself to be used in that manner." He says as he narrows his eyes again in anger. "No!! Tell me what you meant before!! I want to know!!" She screams. Her hands begin to ball up into fists, and her face starts to become livid with rage. "Leave. Or I will force you out." "Oh, I'd like to see that!" She hisses. Not wanting to continue any further spoken attempts to get her to leave, he simply turns to the wall behind him and punches it. He removes his hand, leaving a small dent in the metal barrier, as well as leaving his knuckles bruised and bleeding. Asuka's rage is suddenly replaced with fear as she sees this event. "Now leave." She complies, leaving him alone. He doesn't bother to bandage the wound; but rather returns to his cello. Again, soft music fills the apartment, only to stop a few moments later. The cello drops to the ground with a loud thud. "This... is not me." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Idiot." She mutters through her tears as she runs home. 'Who? Who is an idiot?' One of the forces asks. "Shut up." She whispers. Her feet hit the ground in a methodic rhythm. As if to comply with her mood, it begins to rain. "Just shut up..." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Well... this was fun..." Ritsuko says as she, Maya, and Rei walk out of the restaurant. By the blush on her face, it is evident to those around her that she is drunk. "Hee..." Maya giggles; or rather tries to. She hangs loosely on the arm of her 'senpai,' staggering alongside her. The doctor tries to offer her support, but her own inebriation does not let her lend much without she herself falling over. "..." "Are you feeling okay, Rei?" Ritsuko asks. "I am fine, D... Ritsuko-san. It is just that I have never had alcohol before." "Well... I know I probably shouldn't have let you have any, but it was a happy occasion. Besides, one thing I learned from Misato is that it's no fun to be sober when no one else is." "..." "Can you walk yet, Maya?" Ritsuko asks her assistant. "I'm... fine..." She pushes up off of the doctor, and tries to walk on her own. She succeeds, but not by much. "What... was the other thing you wanted to talk to us about, Senpai?" "Hmmm... other thing..." She stops walking for a second, trying to remember what it was, before slapping a fist into her hand and exclaiming: "Oh!" Both Maya and Rei stop to look at her. Ritsuko turns to face Maya and takes one of her hands gently. "Maya... I know that you were planning to move out now that you're apartment's finished... but I want you to stay." "Senpai!" "I... you've helped me greatly these past few weeks... and I want you to know that I appreciate it." She starts to cry as she sees the pure joy in Maya's eyes. The two women embrace; an action which causes Rei to look away. Not in disgust, but rather to the fact that this moment belongs to them, and should not be interfered upon by her. Then, she feels a hand on her shoulder, gently turning her to face the other two women. "And Rei... I was thinking about you moving in... since I can't stand that place you live in now..." She lectures. "But I didn't think you'd want to leave Ikari." Rei nods in agreement. This was, after all, very true. She... liked being around him. "So why don't you move into the apartment beside mine? The people moved out after the attack of the 12th, so it's free. It's quite nice, too." She mulls over the question for a moment. It did make sense. Her apartment was rapidly becoming no place for two. "I... will talk to Ikari about it. But I do think that I would like that, Ritsuko-san." "Good girl." She pulls her in for a quick kiss on the forehead, then releases her. As they stand there, they begin to hear sounds of light snoring from Maya. "Heh... she fell asleep. Do you want to share a taxi, Rei?" "No thank you. I will walk home from here. It is not far." "Be careful." Ritsuko says as she smiles at her. "I will. Thank you for dinner, Ritsuko-san. Good night." "Good night, Rei." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- She arrives at the door, surprised that she hears no music. The sound would be welcome to her alcohol-induced mind, as the drinks Ritsuko gave her have taken full effect on her walk home. She walks into the bedroom, swaying slightly as she does. He lays on his bed. To her, he looks perturbed. "Is... something wrong?" She asks. "..." "Why is the wall dented?" "..." Seeing he won't answer, she turns to the bathroom for her evening shower. "Asuka stopped by." This stops her in her tracks. Since Asuka had arrived in Tokyo-3, she had never set foot in this part of town. Why would she stop here? "She... offered to become one with me." She is taken aback. Asuka had told her that she hated Ikari. Why would she do this? Did Asuka see what she herself saw in him? Someone who is as kind as He was? Someone who did not make her feel lonely anymore? Something deep inside her becomes uneasy, almost angry with Asuka for trying this. Was this... jealousy? "And... what did you do?" She asks. The feeling begins to overwhelm her. Some sort of sadness joins with the anger. And fear. Fear of losing Ikari to her. Fear of being alone again. "I said no. She wanted me for Him, because it was His body." His eyes narrow in anger at the memory. "I am no one's doll. I will NOT be used." She feels relief. But the emotions do not completely fade. In some ways, they become even stronger. "Do you use me?" He asks. He looks at her, his eyes no longer angry, but filled with the same fear that she herself feels. If she says yes, he will leave, and they will both be alone. But there is no need to lie. She will be honest with him. And she will show him how much she loves him. She looks into his eyes; eyes that are nearly the same color as hers. She had never noticed it, but his are a little deeper crimson; the black of his pupils fading into the red of his irises... So intoxicating... The first time she has not hated the color red... "I... love you... for who you are..." She speaks at last. She takes a step closer as her hands reach behind her. "I like... being around you..." Her hands find the dress' zipper, and she tugs on it. "I want to be with you..." The dress falls to the ground as she continues her advance on him. He now stares at her wide-eyed, surprised by her behavior. "To be one with you..." Her bra and panties follow the dress. "Are you sure you are not doing this because of my resemblance to him?" "While you two have many of the same qualities; I know you are not him." He looks down at the bed, as if sad, before smiling and looking back into her eyes. "Thank you." They sit on his bed in an awkward silence, neither making the first move; neither really knowing how. It seems to last forever until Rei takes the initiative again. "Will you... be with me tonight? As man and woman?" He nods. "Then let us be one..." A girl, whom not only two months ago would never had imagined asking to be with another person, who imagined she would go through life alone, takes the hand of another. A boy, who is literally a stranger in a strange land, whose knowledge of the world comes from another lifetime and a week's experience, draws the girl close to him. The two, who soon become one, spend the night in understanding and comfort. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTERLUDE 2: "Agent Ryouji?" A man asks. He is dressed in all black, and wears black shades. He stands at full attention, and his demeanor is as ice- cold. He is the epitome of the Secret Service. "That would be me." Kaji says as he shifts his arm in its sling. "He is ready for interrogation." "Oh. Well then, we shouldn't waste any time, now should we?" "..." "Ah, as conversational as ever. Perhaps it is time to lighten up, Agent Croft?" "..." "I didn't think so." Kaji says as he smiles slightly. He follows Agent Croft into a steel room, lit only by a lamp sitting on a small table near a chair. Two other Secret Service Agents enter the room from a door on the opposite side and unceremoniously dump a man into the chair. They then take a position on either side of him. "So, SEELE-03, was it?" He doesn't answer. He just stares at the floor with a look of contempt crossing his face. The questioning lasts several hours, but the man still doesn't talk. The only answer that comes from him is a faint mumbling of 'You'll pay.' A break from the interrogation allows Kaji to smoke a cigarette. They still hadn't got any information from him, and time was running out. What knowledge the Japanese Government had momentarily intercepted of the Dead Sea Scrolls hinted to the arrival of the 16th would be soon. They needed the information desperately. "Agent Ryouji." "Yes, Agent Croft?" "We're wasting time this way. You know as well as I do that there are more effective ways of getting information out of a suspect." "... I was hoping that I wouldn't have to resort to them." He replies. How can humans live together if they must hurt each other? "There are times when this kind of method is needed." This causes Kaji to raise an eyebrow. "Are you trying to reassure me, Agent Croft?" "No." He sighs. The day has been long, but having to resort to this... "Very well, Agent Croft. You may proceed." He says with disgust in his voice. "I assure that we will gain all the necessary information, Agent Ryouji." He walks away, leaving a nauseated Kaji to his thoughts. A few minutes later, shrill screams are heard coming from the room. The only way he finds to drown them out is by an SDAT player he bought before his flight over. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- To be continued... -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Next, on The Death of One 5.3: Armisael attacks, Tokyo-3 gets destroyed, and another life is lost. It's all there in 'Forgive Me.' Will Death be the only thing capable of reuniting Asuka and Shinji? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Author's notes: Ah, what a long chapter. 24 pages in MSWord. And by the time these author's notes and stuff is done, 25. But I digress. A few of you are probably screaming, 'AHHH!!! WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING WITH REI AND SHINJI!?!?!?!?!?!?' All in due time, all in due time. I'd be more concerned who lives and dies next part. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *Ahem!* Anyways, I'd like to talk about the future for a sec. As it stands, there will be 5.3, which will probably be as long as 5.1; or around 13-15 pages at the most. Part 6 will weigh in at... I haven't a clue, really. Possibly 18 pages. The last part, part 7, will more than likely be long. I have started writing part 7, but I have not started on 6. 6 will be very hard to write, and I hope you will bear with me. I plan to get this all out by January at the latest. I know that may seem like a while, but with Strangely Darkfic and other projects, it's a little hard. Plus, all these kick-ass RPGs are coming out this year. :) Now, if you've been to my site, you may have noticed a story called 'Dark Tides Under a Black Moon.' (quick plug: site is at http://www.geocities .com/Tokyo/Bridge/5970/index.html) This will be a site-only story, nowhere else will it be available. It will be a long project, at least 13 parts, and me and my 'Mysterious Collaborator' will kick it off at the end of November, beginning of December. We hope we can do it. That's about it. SD 3 should be out soon, so look for it. Catch you later! Fics that inspired this project: (all recommended) 'The One I Love Is...' by Alain Gravel. 'The Child of Love' by Axel Terizaki 'HERZ' by Toh E. Loong Read them now! Pre-readers: Alain Gravel - 'The One I Love Is...' Axel Terizaki - 'The Child Of Love,' various other projects. Greg Thomas - Pre-reader extraordinaire, webmaster of the Everything Anime webpage. FASDAR - Pre-reader extraodinaire Jeremy Mullin - 'Double or Nothing' Mirei Ikari - Pre-reader extraordinaire N. T. Martin - 'Step Beyond the Abyss' The Sandman - Fics soon to arrive! Shadow's Madness - 'Sins of the Past' Sterry - 'The Saga of Drivel'