Gainax owns it all, the lucky bastards Authored by Godsend777 Standard spoiler warnings, as well as posting restrictions. (I.e. - don't post w/o permission, and don't read unless you've seen the series.) All situations just happen. ** Denotes flashback On with the show... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Death of One Part Three Similarities/Everybody Has To Cry Sometime... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This was not in our predicted scenario, Ikari." The voice of Kihl Lorenz, in the guise of SEELE-01, booms throughout the virtual chamber. Before the black monolith sits Gendo Ikari, commander of NERV, surrounded on all sides by the Committee of Human Instrumentality, also in "Sound Only" mode. "Yes, it is too late to replace the pilot. Our plans may well have been in vain." SEELE-04 states. "Correction, gentlemen." Gendo begins. "There is a way to bring the plans back on track, so to speak." "Oh? Please tell us how." "We will use the Second to take place of the Third. She is committed to piloting Eva, and will obey our orders without hesitation. Also, she was...attached to the Third, and will fight as a way to avenge him." "But are you sure she can be used?" SEELE-05 speaks up. "I am positive. If she cannot, there is another." "I'm not sure if this is the correct path, Ikari. We cannot turn back, and we cannot afford any more delays." "The plan is only three months behind schedule. The projected delay is five months. The schedule is fine." "Very well, Ikari. We will see." SEELE-03 speaks. "But be warned, Ikari, do not cross us again." Kihl says, before the council vanishes from the room. "Foolish old men...Do you not realize I cannot fail when the future of mankind is at stake?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rei had finally left after talking for three hours. Asuka felt tired, too tired to search out Misato and ask her to take her home. She can't believe she had talked to Wondergirl that long. She can't believe she had talked to her at all. Something was wrong with her. Had Shinji's death affected her this much? She hoped not. She remembered the argument her and Misato had gotten into the night before the funeral... ** "Stop crying, Misato! It figures that you'd drink yourself into oblivion the minute Kaji wasn't there to support you!! You're PATHETIC!!" She had screamed at her guardian. Standing there, looking at this 'older woman,' she meant it. Nothing is as pathetic as someone who runs away from reality. "YOU SHUTTUP, ASUKA!!!" This outburst had caught her off-guard. She hadn't expected her to actually yell back. "If you hadn't been such a little BITCH to him, he might have come BACK!!" Misato yelled as she continued her verbal assault. "What are you talking about!?" Asuka screamed back. She didn't know what she had meant then, but after the conversation in the car earlier today, she understood. "You never opened up to him!! You treated him like shit!!" The older woman reached over and grabbed her young charge by her tank top. "You HIT him, you INSULTED him, and made him feel like he was NOTHING!!" Misato's voice rang through her mind. She realized that her roommate was right. "He treated you like a goddess!! I think he LIKED you! Hell, he probably LOVED you!!" Misato put her face right up to Asuka's, and said the next words in a low voice. "You're the one who's pathetic. And you can blame yourself for never seeing him again." Asuka didn't know how to react. Her commanding officer and closest thing she had to a family member had just blamed her for the death of the only person she ever lo- Don't think like that. But still, the shock was too much, even if at the time, she didn't understand what she had meant. Instead, she ran to her room and cried herself to sleep. Misato had passed out shortly afterwards, and didn't remember what had happened the next morning. That, or she didn't want to bring it up. Whichever one it was, it hadn't been mentioned since. ** She now understood what Misato had meant. She thought of what she had said to him right before he left for his train. Had she not come home for a change of clothes, she wouldn't have seen him gathering his things. She wouldn't have told him what she thought of him, or at least, pretended to. She pushed out all thoughts of memories and looked around her room. Sitting on the floor next to the chair Rei had sat in was a small bag with a note. Strange, shouldn't she have noticed this before? Too deep in conversation with Rei, she guessed. She picked up the bag and read the note. Asuka, Will pick you up when I get off work. You should be awake by then. Misato P.S. - thought you might want this, as you always seem to have it with you lately. She opened the bag and found Shinji's SDAT player. Smiling a little, she put on the earplugs and laid back down on her bed to wait for Misato. She frowned as she thought how much like Shinji she had become, but it was soon dismissed and she had fallen asleep by the time the second song played. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The rest of the day had gone by without incident. Misato had come and picked her up, and they drove home together in silence. They ordered takeout, took their baths, and watched TV together, all in silence. Penpen had decided to retire to his fridge for bed, and Asuka was about to do the same. Right before she was about to leave, Misato began to speak to her. "So what did Rei want?" Asuka didn't know how to respond, so she imitated a confused look to the best of her ability. "Don't play dumb with me, the security detail saw her go into your room, and one of the nurses confirmed you were talking. So what did you talk about?" The entire time, Misato never stopped looking at the television before her. Again, Asuka tried to find the words to describe the situation. Rei had stressed that she didn't want anyone to know about the conversation. She didn't say why, but Asuka had promised her she wouldn't tell a soul. She was about to use her 'I'm better than you, so what I do is none of your business' tone, when she - **You never opened up to him!** - remembered what Misato had said. It was something that found its way into her mind a lot lately. Finally, she sighed and decided a polite lie would be better. "Wondergirl just needed some tips on hygiene..." "Hygiene?" "Geez, Misato, we're both women, you know what I mean." Thought struck the major, snapping her attention away from the TV to the girl at her side. Blushing slightly, she let out an 'Oh, my' and chuckled a little. "So it seems like Rei has finally become a woman." Misato said, now grinning like an idiot. "Man, I remember I remember the first time I had my period..." She continued, with an almost wistful look on her face. "MISATO!!! I don't want to hear about this!!" Asuka flinched back, a little disgusted. "Oh, come on, it's a funny story! You sure you don't want to hear it?" The six-pack she had was now giving her a good buzz. "Misato..." Asuka said indignantly, "Why would I want to -" **You never opened up to him!** She froze. Again, there was that thought. If she didn't open up to Misato, could she lose her...like she did Shinji? **I think he LIKED you!** Misato liked her. At least she thought she did. She treated her nice enough. And despite what happened the night before the funeral, she still held her when she needed it. When she realized she loved Him. Did opening up to others hurt as much as losing them? Better to accept the challenge than to run away. And Asuka Langley Sohryuu never backs down from a challenge. "Did you embarrass yourself, Misato?" teased Asuka. "Oh, yeah! I was wearing these white shorts and a belly shirt. And I was in the middle of this huge mall-" For the first time in over a month since Shinji disappeared, the sounds of laughter resound throughout the tiny apartment. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ritsuko glanced at her watch as her and Rei rode the elevator down to Chamber of the Guf. She hated these late night experiments. And, as usual, they rode in silence, each thinking their own thoughts. But thinking about uncomfortable matters only makes an uncomfortable situation worse, and Ritsuko could take no more silence. She was about to speak, when interrupted by the young girl. "Where is Commander Ikari?" "He...has a meeting. Why do you ask?" "I just wanted to know." Another few uncomfortable seconds of silence. Again, Rei spoke. "Do you think Commander Ikari cared for Shinji?" Ritsuko's eyes widened, unsure of what Rei had just said. "W-what?" "Do you think Commander Ikari cared for Shinji?" Why was she asking this? Rei had never displayed much emotion before, why now? She knew that her and Shinji had grown close these past few months, but she still didn't seem to show much emotion. Except for when she was with the commander... "I...don't know. He seems a little different now, but I honestly don't know." "I don't think he did." Rei said in her flat, monotone voice. "Why do you say that?" Ritsuko tried to keep herself under control. This little...this little bitch was badmouthing her lover! "I think he was using him. The same way he uses you and I." "HE'S NOT USING ME!!!" Ritsuko turned and screamed, her left arm flying out at the Eva pilot. Rei felt a slight gust of wind as it passed by her nose. "He uses me. He used Shinji. And yes, he uses you as well." Again, Rei's face betrayed no emotion. But her eyes... "HE LOVES ME!!! IT MAKES ME HAPPY WHEN HE MAKES LOVE TO ME!! HE NEEDS ME!!" Ritsuko's face started to turn red. She tried not to look at those piercing, red eyes. "He used his son. His own flesh and blood. He uses me, made from someone he loves. Even though I have...feelings for him, I still see that he uses me." Her eyes began to water, ever so slightly. "NO!" "He used your mother, and when she was no longer of use, he sent me to deliver the message." "NO!" "Your mother strangled me, and jumped to her death." "STOP SAYING THESE THINGS!!" "You are like your mother." "NO I'M NOT!!" "You are like me." "HOW!? HOW AM I LIKE YOU!?!" "We are both being used by Him." The words rang true. Too true for her to try and deny them. The only thing she could do is cry, cry for her foolishness. Cry for her stupidity. Cry for her mother. "I do not want to be used anymore." Rei was near tears, her voice slightly shaking. "I don't want to be his doll. But..." "But what?" Ritsuko said, between sobs. "I cannot deny him. I think that in some way...I love him." Rei's tears began to slide down her cheeks, dripping onto the white elevator platform. Ritsuko looked up at her companion. She had just said another thing that they had in common. Both of them loved the man that used them. How ironic. Summoning up her courage, she put a hand on Rei's shoulder. "We're both pretty foolish, aren't we?" She asked. Rei nodded in silent agreement. They both stood there in that position, Ritsuko's hand on Rei's shoulder, until the elevator finally came to a stop. Then, they walked towards the Chamber of the Guf, each one as silent as they were when this ordeal began, and kept walking in silence until they reached the door. "Dr. Akagi?" "Yes, Rei?" "Am I an individual? Am I unique in my own way? Or am I really just a doll?" Had Rei asked her this any day before today, she would have said yes, she is a doll, and that she had no uniqueness, because before today, she had felt it was true, a cloud of jealousy fogging her mind from reality. But now, in the past few minutes of a great realization, she told her how she felt. "You are unique, Rei. I just never saw it before today." Another tear made its way down Rei's face, and she gave a little smile to Ritsuko. Ritsuko, through her own tear-stained face, smiled back. "I do not wish to lose this individuality. If I am replaced, I would not have it. I would be his doll again." Rei's smile faded, and she looked down to the floor. "I do not want that." "Then I promise you," Ritsuko said, this time putting both her hands on Rei's shoulders. "From one fool to another, that I will do anything in my power to help you keep your individuality." Rei looked up at the doctor, and smiled again. She remembered Asuka had said something about expressing your emotions freely, as it is part of the grieving process. To not hold anything back, lest you keep it inside of yourself and it hurts you. So she did what she felt was right, and embraced the older woman in a friendly hug. As Ritsuko overcame her initial shock and hugged Rei back, she marveled at the difference a few minutes can make. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Asuka lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. The night's events had been tiring, but Shinji's death had left her with an almost incurable case of insomnia. And when she did sleep, she dreamt of him. But, although tiring, tonight had been pleasant. Misato had talked about her first kiss, how it had happened a few days before her first period, and a few months before she joined her father in Antarctica. She talked about her first time with Kaji (After another six-pack), and some vacations she had been on. She then tried to get Asuka to tell her about her first kiss, and after a lot of teasing she finally did. She wished she hadn't. After all, it had been with Shinji. Misato was a little shocked, but laughed at the two's reactions. Immediately afterwards, a few minutes of uncomfortable silence fell into the room, and neither wanted to talk anymore. Misato suggested going to bed, saying that Asuka had to go to school tomorrow, and that she had to get to work early. And so, Asuka did as she was told, and went to bed. That was an hour ago. Misato had cried for a few minutes, before going to bed. Asuka was still awake. 'Baka' she thought. 'Even though you're dead I still have to compete with you.' She rolled the thought over in her head. 'I hate you.' She didn't mean that. She knew she didn't, but it wouldn't go away until she admitted it to herself. 'Fine! I love you, okay! I love you! But you're gone!' A whimper. 'But you're gone...' A few tears fell, but having admitted her feelings to herself, she fell asleep. It was the only way she knew how to anymore. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Misato sped down the road at speeds normally unsafe within city limits. Asuka had woken her up, pointing out the fact that she was now three hours late. When Misato went to take a shower, Asuka put some toast in the toaster and went to school. She had also mentioned that there was a message on the answering machine, that it must have rung before either of them got up, but she didn't have the time to get it. Neither did Misato, as in her rush to work; she didn't even give the machine a second glance. She parked her car in the parking garage and ran to her office. She shouldn't have stayed up so late talking to Asuka. It had been fun, though, and reminded her of her college days with Ritsuko. Sigh. Now if she could only get through the day without crying about Shinji, it would be great. Shinji. Shouldn't have thought about him. She fought back the tears, even though over a week had passed since she learned he wasn't coming back, that he was dead, she still cried a little. And what Asuka had told her last night, boy! She couldn't believe that Shinji hadn't backed down! Sigh. He was like her son sometimes, watching him mature before her. A little smile appeared on her face, and a small tear ran down her cheek. She brushed them both away, it was, after all, time for work. Turning the corner to her office, she noticed two Section 2 men standing by the door. She didn't like Section 2, the knowledge of their constant presence made Shinji and Asuka feel uncomfortable. But they were a necessary evil. The children needed protecting. So she put on her best 'work' voice and greeted them. "Can I help you?" She said, her tone dripping with ice. "Yes, earlier today, Sub-Commander Fuuyutsuki was abducted..." Kaji! Why... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Asuka!" Hikari cried out. "Hi, Hikari." She turned to meet her friend, who was about to collide with her. "Asuka! I've been so worried about you!" No, not collide. Hug. Before Asuka could think of anything, she returned it. "I'm...fine, Hikari. Just, y'know, tired." She looked into her friends' eyes. Near tears. Actually, it looked like Mt. Fuji was about to blow. It was weird how everyone cried these days. "Hikari, really, I'm fine. See?" To reinforce her point, Asuka spread out her arms and spun on her heel, giving Hikari a full view of herself. "No physical damage." Then, knocking on her forehead, "No mental damage." The last one was a necessary lie. She wouldn't be able to hold it in herself if Hikari broke down in front of her. "I'm glad." "So, why haven't you called?" Asuka did the best confident voice she could manage. "Well..." Hikari began to relate the how sensei had gotten worked up over Shinji's death, and decided that life is meaningless without knowledge. Now everyone in class had three times as much homework as before. "By the way, here are your printouts." Heaving a stack the size of two phone books on Asuka's desk, Hikari smiled apologetically. "Mein Gott..." "Wait till you see Touji's and Rei's." "..." (1) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Finally, finally, FINALLY! School had let out! Asuka ran to the Geofront, wishing that synch tests had come sooner. Where did that teacher get in his head to assign so much work? It would take forever to do it, and she still didn't know the Kanji she needed. Where was Shinji when she needed him? Slowing down to a walk, she remembered. "Baka." She looked up to the sky. "You would leave when I actually needed you." She scolded herself on forgetting such a matter. One week. The heart didn't heal in that time, did it? No, but the mind does need rest, and the occasional escape from reality. 'Can't cry forever.' She thought, as a tear rolled down her face. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Akagi looked over the data readouts of the pilot's synch ratios. She smiled a little; Rei's synch ration was up three points. It currently stood at 59%, and although lower than before the attack of the fourteenth angel, it still had risen three points from two days ago. 'Last night's talk must have made her feel better.' She then looked at Asuka's readouts. 33%, one point up from the last tests. Asuka's mind had taken a terrible beating this past month. She thought she lost to Shinji with the fourteenth angel. Then she lost Shinji himself. Even before, when his synch ratio surpassed hers, she was furious. And since synch ratios depended on the pilot's mental state, she decided a little encouragement was needed. "Rei, Asuka, both of your synch ratios are higher than before. Keep it up." She stated. Asuka's synch ratio immediately jumped up two points, and a slight smile crossed her face. Rei's stayed the same. She wondered what had happened to Asuka to give her even a slightly better synch ratio. Too bad Misato had to be detained. Dammit Kaji... "How are the pilot's synch ratios?" Commander Ikari, who had entered the room unnoticed, asked. "Well, they're both up three points currently. They seem to be getting back to what they were before Shinji died." Ritsuko mentally kicked herself, but remembered that the two-way communication wasn't engaged at this moment. "Very well. I want you to run an emergency compatibility experiment. I want all three Evas fully functional as soon as possible. If necessary, Evas 00 and 02 will be piloted using the dummy plug." "But sir!" Maya called out. "Eva-01 has refused all activation attempts so far! The pilots might get hurt!" "The pilots will be fine. The test will start immediately. The Second Children will be first." He exited the room as the technicians scrambled about their duties. When the door closed behind him, he stopped and smiled. 'Shinji,' He thought, 'You will help me.' A wild look came across his eyes. The thought of his plans falling even further into despair entered his mind. 'Won't you?' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I don't want to go in that thing!" Asuka screamed at the control room. "I'm sorry, Asuka, but it's Commander Ikari's orders." Maya called through the comm. "Hmph! Sending me into that death trap! That sounds just like him! After all, he did the same with his son!" Asuka stomped around the catwalk. "Where's Misato!? She'll see through this nonsense!" "Misato's not here. She...had a meeting. Besides, these are Commander IKARI'S orders, so even she can't override them." "FINE! I'll get into that thing, but it's your fault if anything happens to me!!" She stomped off the catwalk to go to the seventh cage, thinking about what Eva-01 and its pilot had done. She thought back to the debriefing room they had stuck her in shortly after she arrived in Tokyo-3. File footage of the battle against the Third Angel. She had wanted to do that, lose all of her inhibitions and massacre the enemy. Just go berserk, nothing being able to stop you. She wondered if it was a rush. More file footage, this time against the Fourth. The first time she had admired him, even with his nerve connections breaking up, he still defeated it. But doing so had messed up his mind, and he had run away. She thought he was a coward. The Fifth. Even after his heart had stopped, after it had nearly killed him, he got back inside and fought. She had admired him again. Then she thought of what she had seen after she came here. The Sixth. Two minds as one. It had actually been a peaceful experience, when she thought back to it. It had happened at the exact moment the Eva broke free of the angel's maw. The Seventh. Both mind and body moving in perfect synchronization with each other. Again, it was a pleasant experience. The Eighth. She had fought and killed this one. But if it weren't for him, she would have died. When he climbed out of his entry plug, he looked as if he had gotten sunburn. From jumping into a volcano unprotected, no doubt. The Tenth. Even against those odds, he triumphed. The Twelfth. She had been scared by his behavior, but more scared of the fact she was piloting the same thing he was. She brushed it off as one of the bugs of being the test type by the time she reached his hospital door. The Thirteenth. Eva-03. Touji. She had tried to communicate with him, to tell him who it was. But the Angel had gotten the jump on her. Later, when he fought it, she still heard him through the communications window. She heard his cries of pain as Eva-01 wrenched the entry plug from Eva-03 and crushed it in its hands. She felt sorry for him. And powerless. Had she destroyed it, he wouldn't have had to suffer. The Fourteenth. The last one he fought. It had utterly destroyed her. And he beat it. She hated him for it. He had excelled her in every way. But he lost to the Eva. It cost him his life. When she heard this, she was angry. She had to beat him, beat Eva-01. Looking up at it now, she realized she had her chance. She would tame this beast, and do something Shinji had never done. For herself. For Shinji. For the first time since she had learned he died, she felt that fire return. 'Time to show them how it's done.' She smiled to herself as she climbed into the entry plug. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Entry plug secure. Starting nerve connections. Everything proceeding smoothly." Maya ran down her computer checklist while Ritsuko wrote on her clipboard. "Nerve connections approaching absolute borderline." Maya held her breath. Unlike the others who just thought a rejection notice would pop up, she feared a berserk Eva. She, in reality, was actually very pessimistic. She called out with some relief as 'absolute borderline' passed without incident. Asuka's synch ratio began to rise. '28, 29, 30,' She called out the numbers in her head, assuming that they'd stop around thirty-three. '62, 63,' this was amazing! It was almost twice as high as it was in Eva-02! "Ma'am, you'd better come see this." Ritsuko walked over to her young assistant, wondering what she wanted. "I don't believe this!" Ritsuko whispered to herself. "Her synch ratio is exactly twice as that in Eva-02! Maya, find out what's going on." "Yes, ma'am!" Maya began to type frantically when she heard a whimper from Unit-01's entry plug. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Ah!" Asuka whimpered. Everything had been going fine, but suddenly something had penetrated her mind. A...feeling. Something warm, and familiar. But something dangerous, too. She closed her eyes as her headache began to throb. When she opened them again, she found herself in a dark room. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Ma'am! I can't get a reading on the pilot!" Maya screamed. "Keep trying! Find out what's going on!" "We can't!" Hyuuga swiveled in his chair and yelled. "It's blocking out all of our attempts to reach it!" "Eject the entry plug!" Ritsuko ordered. "No good! It's refusing all of our commands!" "What is going on in there?" Ritsuko asked out loud. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Shinji!?!" Asuka cried out. "A-Asuka!?! What are you doing here!?" "There's a compatibility experiment! I'm sitting in Eva-01, when all of the sudden I'm here!" She regards her surroundings, then comes to a quick conclusion. "I'm dreaming again, aren't I?" Shinji looks down at where the ground should be, and says in a weak voice. "I'm afraid not..." "Of course I am! You're here in front of me! That proves this is a dream!" Seeing him, even though it's a dream, saddens her. She knows if this keeps up she'll start to cry again. "This isn't a dream, Asuka. I'm...really here." "NO YOU'RE NOT!!! You'll say you're back, and I'll believe you! Then we'll make love and I'LL WAKE UP!! I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP!!" She runs over to him, grabs him by the collar, and puts her face near his. "That's why this is a dream." She starts to cry, unable to hold back any longer. In response, Shinji touches the side of her face, and shakes his head. She relaxes her grip, and her hands fall to their sides. Again, he looks down to the 'ground.' "I don't know why you're here. You said you hated me." He turns around. He can't look at her anymore. "I-" But she remembers. She can't help but not to. ** She had come home to pick up some clothes. She was staying at Hikari's that night, and hadn't wanted to see him. She thought he was a coward. "So you're running away again." She sneered as she leaned against the door. "Yes." He was standing over his bed, stuffing clothes into a duffel bag. "Hmph! How pathetic!" "I guess I am." "I'll be number one, then, and everyone will look up to me. Even more than before." She lifted her hands up behind her head and stretched. Not because she was tired, but more because of the psychological effect it had. It screamed 'I'm smarter AND sexier than you. What are you going to do about it?' "Good. I don't care." He was still stuffing his clothes in the bag. He never even turned around to acknowledge her. "God, you're such a coward." He stiffened at the remark. That seemed to do it. Time for the kill. "Only cowards run away." She was so mad at him for destroying the angel. So mad at him for running away. But mostly, so mad at him for leaving her. She sidled up behind him, and leaned against his back. "And you're the biggest coward I've ever met." Her voice stung him, its venom seeping its way into his very soul. She couldn't help but grin. Then he reacted unexpectedly. In a moment of rage, he turned around and pushed her. She fell backwards, her butt slamming against the ground. She looked up to see him stare at her in anger for a second, before his expression became more determined. "Why do you do this? I've never done anything to you." He turned around and grabbed his bag. As he walked out the door he said one last thing. "I'm sorry that you hate me. Good-bye." And then he walked out the door and out of her life forever. The only thing she could do was scream at him, call him stupid, and tell him how much she hated him. She regretted every word that came out of her mouth. ** "I-" "I'll send you back. I thought you were father. I was going to tell him how much I hated him. I'm sorry." "I-" "Good-bye." It felt the same as being disconnected from the Eva. But she wouldn't allow it. If it was him, she had to tell him. She fought back, the connections rising again. In the control room, the readouts were restored for a second. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?!" She screamed as the dark room re-entered her vision. Shinji took an instinctive step back. "If that's really you, I need to tell you something!" Shinji gathered his courage, like he had done before with his father. "I need to tell-" She began. "Tell me what!?" He interrupted. "That you hate me!? That I'm a coward!? Go ahead! What have I got to lose!?" "Shinji..." "GODAMMIT, I LOVED YOU AND YOU DIDN'T CARE!!" "I NEVER KNEW!!" She screamed back. Then, calming herself. "What about you?" "What?" "You never told me how you felt. We both did the same thing." "..." "Shinji, I'm sorry I treated you that way." The tears start coming again. "I'm sorry I never opened up to you." She embraces him, slowly this time, so he won't run away. "But I did care." She gazes into his deep blue eyes. "I really do love you." "W-what?" "Please. Even if this is a dream, hold me." She rests her head on his shoulder, and whispers softly in his ear. "Tell me how you feel..." Embracing Asuka in the darkness of thought, Shinji lets loose his feelings and whispers the three words he was too afraid to say in life. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Dr. Akagi! Asuka's synch ratio is approaching 150%!! It's going higher!" "Do what you can! We can't lose another pilot!" "Hai!" Maya, Hyuuga, and the rest of the technicians yell as they get back to work. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Asuka," Shinji began, breaking away from their kiss. "I have to tell you something." "Can't it wait?" She responds, before kissing him softly on the lips. "No...please listen." This seems to do it, as she reluctantly pulls back. She does not, however, let go of him. "What?" She says softly. The first time she has a chance to be with him, and he breaks it off. Baka. "Father is planning something." "So? He's always planning something. He's a bastard." Her tone drips acid, as it does any time someone mentions the commander. If it weren't for him... "He's crazy. He's going to kill all of humanity. He and SEELE are trying to kill us all, thinking that we'll be better off." "THAT'S RIDICULOUS!!" "But it's true. I...want you to be careful. I just wanted to tell you that. Tell Misato and Rei for me as well." "What do you mean 'tell them!?' I'm not going anywhere!" "Asuka, if you stay here you'll die!" "I DON'T CARE!!" She screams, the force of her voice resounds throughout the empty space. "If I can be with you, I don't care!" "Asuka, you don't have a choice. I'm sending you back." "If you do that, I'll...I'll kill myself!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Synch ratio is still climbing! Currently at 240%!!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Why!? Why would you do that!!" Shinji yells. "So I can be with you! I want to be with you! Life has had no point since you died!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "286%" Maya screamed. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Asuka! Even if you did that, we wouldn't be together!" "What!?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Synch Ratio has passed 300%!" "Asuka!" Ritsuko screams. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I'm trapped here! Like our mothers!" "Our...mothers?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "336%!!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Please, Asuka!" Shinji was crying now. "Live! For me!" "But-" "Nothing can be gained from death!" "But-" "Others are depending on you!" "But I-" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "365%!!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "You must help them!" "But I-" He speaks in a calm voice now, trying to get her to listen to what he has to say. "You're the only one who can, Asuka. That's why you're the best." "Shinji, I don't want to-" "I don't want to lose you either, Asuka. But if you stay here, you'll die." "I'll come back..." "You can't. There are no guarantees..." Crying softly, Asuka reaches out to him. "Tell Misato and Rei that I love them. I understand that feeling now." "Shinji..." "But remember that I love you most of all." His eyes let loose his tears again. "Shinji..." She embraces him, again. He looks into her eyes, those beautiful heavenly blue orbs, and kisses her softly on the lips. "Now go." He smiles. Asuka remembers how precious his smile was. Seeing it again makes her heart soar. "Your mother is waiting." She feels the tug again, that feeling of disconnection. Like surfacing after swimming underwater. The slight breaking of the surface tension, followed by free movement. It is the only time she hates that feeling. Looking up, she sees the entry plug of Unit-01 again. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Synch ratio at 389%! Wait! The pulses are flowing backwards!" Maya calls out to the rest of the room. "External communications are being restored! Switching to internal camera!" Hyuuga yells. The camera flips on, showing Asuka slumped over the Eva's handles, crying to herself. "Asuka!" Ritsuko calls "Are you okay!" "I lost him...I lost him again..." She cries. All the fire that previously returned flickers out with each teardrop. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Three hours later, in the cell of one Major Katsuragi. "Major Katsuragi." One of the men of Section 2 says as he walks into her cell. "Yes." "The problem is over. A solution has been found." He hands her her gun and ID badge. "Where is he?" "I wouldn't know that." A determined look comes across the major's face as she walks out of the dark room. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kaji stands by a ventilation fan, feeling the soft breeze blow across his back. He's been waiting for nearly an hour, waiting for his lover. Waiting for his executioner. Waiting for Her. He hears her footsteps as she approaches. The rhythmic tapping of her heels against the ground. Putting on his best smile, he turns to face her. "You're a little late, aren't you?" The sound of a gun goes off a millisecond before the round pierces his left shoulder. He cries in pain as it exits his back, passing between the fan's blades and ricocheting of some unknown wall. He looks at his assailant again. "Why? I assumed you would have killed me..." Talking was hard, but thankfully, the nerves in that area were beginning to numb. She stepped forward, gun still pointed at him, the same look of determination across her face. "Misato?" He was now clutching his shoulder. She looked at him again, when he noticed her eyes were glazing over. "Misato?" Suddenly, she drops her gun. Stumbling over to him, she wraps her arms around his neck, and buries her head in his shoulder. "I...can't..." "Uh?" The pain in his shoulder returns when she squeezes him. "I can't...lose anyone else." She cries, cursing the tears that have come all to frequently of late. Cursing the situations her position puts her in. Cursing herself for almost killing the man she loves. Ignoring the pain in his shoulder, Kaji raises his right arm and holds her back. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Author's notes: (1) This little scene was inspired by Andrew Huang's "Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut," one of the funniest fics out there. When Asuka gets hurt and is in the hospital for a few days, the teacher starts assigning a lot of work. Here's part 3. I hope you all like it. I've gotten a lot of C&C's regarding the first two parts. Thanks to all of you who wrote. Many of you are probably wondering just what will happen with the Shinji-clone, but remember, all in due time. Any scenes that mention Penpen in this part onward are due to the fact that Alain Gravel reminded me in one of his letters. I forgot about him, and apologize to all Penpen fans. Don't kill me. On one last note, this entire fic was written listening to background music from the TV series. The scene between Asuka and Shinji in particular was written while listening to Rei's theme. (The one that plays when she dies) Next up: Gendo's sanity decreases even further as his staff begins to distrust him even more; Arael attacks, making Asuka realize something very important; All rules are thrown out the window as Shinji returns; And we find out how to kill a low-orbit angel without a lance. It's all next on: Life/A Double-Edged Sword. Special Thanks to: Alain Gravel - The One I Love Is... (ASUKA!! ASUKA!! ASUKA!! PLEASE!!) Axel Terizaki - The Child of Love. (The name Teri never sounded so cute.) Toh E. Long - HERZ (Aside from being a kick-ass fic, Toh's the only other guy who found Annogelion funny) For their inspirational writings, as well as my two pre-readers, Mirei Ikari and Greg Thomas! Thanks you two!