Gainax owns it all, no matter how much they skimp in taxes. Authored by Godsend777 Takes place at the end of Episode 20 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------- The Death of One Part 1 Grieving/"Do I miss you?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------- 'A month. He's been gone for a month. Where the hell is he!? Probably gaining sympathy from the nurses at the hospital. And Misato. She's always favored her precious Shinji. I bet Wondergirl knows where he is. Why won't they tell me? I guess I'm just not important enough. I wish I knew how he was...' Asuka got up from Shinji's bed and walked to the door of his room. Although she'd never admit it to herself, being in his room had a calming effect on her. Even if she had to destroy it. 'I'll get Misato to tell me. I'll make her tell me.' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------- "The entry-plug's ejecting! We can't stop it!" "SHINJI!!" Misato runs to Eva-01 while it pours LCL out of its entry plug. Shinji's plug suit floats out and silently glides down to the catwalk along with the fluid. She quickly grabs it, and seeing it empty, falls to her knees. "GIVE ME BACK MY SHINJI!!!!!" She wails. The core hums for a second, then dies down, leaving a grieving Misato behind. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------- Asuka stands by the door to Misato's apartment, tapping her foot impatiently. Arms akimbo, she finally sees the door slide open. "Misato! I demand that you take me to Shinji! I have a right to know how that baka is!" Bringing her gaze to her purple-haired guardian, she notices something unusual. Something dangerously odd. For the first time in the few months Asuka has lived with Misato, she sees her crying. Her gaze softens. Then looking at Misato's hands, quickly turns to fear. For in Misato's arms is Shinji's plug suit. "W-what happened!?" Asuka asks as she grabs a hold of Misato's arm. "Tell me what happened!" Misato sobs. "Misato!" Ignoring the young girl's pleas, Misato breaks her grip and runs to her room, sliding the door shut with such a force that the walls of her apartment shake for a brief second. "M-Misato?" Asuka is about to run after her when a hand firmly grasps her shoulder. She turns to see Kaji, using the grim and serious look on his face he normally reserves for especially bad situations. Like the time he had found her lying in his bed, wearing nothing but a T-shirt. "Asuka..." "Kaji, what's wrong!" "Asuka, I'm afraid...I'm afraid Shinji has passed away..." Shock. Terror. Anger. Sickness. A wave of emotion floods Asuka's mind, before finally collapsing into Kaji's arms and letting her tears flow. "NO! NO! NONONO! HE CAN'T DIE! NOT THE INVINCIBLE SHINJI! HE'S SUPPOSED TO FIGHT WITH US! HE'S SUPPOSED TO GET ALL THE ATTENTION!! HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!!!" By now, she pounds on his chest, in some vain hopes that it might bring him back. "He just can't be gone..." She whimpers. "I haven't beaten him yet..." Kaji hugs her tighter, knowing that this may be the longest night of his life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------- The service was short and to the point. The Second Impact had almost absolved humanity of religion entirely, leaving very few people (most of them old) to practice it. Shinji himself had never prescribed to any religion, his life too painful for him to believe in a God. Even after fighting 'Heaven's Warriors' he still found it difficult to practice it. Add to that NERV's tight budget, one which would not afford a priest of any sort when a good commanding officer would do, certainly cut the need for extended speeches about the 'afterlife' and 'holy fulfillment' down to a nil. Also, the lack of military officers who actually knew the deceased was small. That left two commanding officers. Since Gendo was normally a man of few words in any given social situation, it was left to Sub-Commander Fuuyutsuki to say a few kind words. "I...didn't really know Pilot Ikari." He looked down from the podium to see Major Katsuragi, in her black formal NERV attire, crying softly to herself. On her immediate right was Kaji, doing his best to console her. To her left, Asuka and Rei respectively. Asuka trying to be ever-so-strong, Rei unsure of how to act, but both feeling sorrowful nonetheless. All in black. He breathed again, choosing carefully his next words. "He, like all of us, had his share of problems-" "No fooling..." Asuka muttered to no one. "but overcame them to combat the menace that eventually claimed his life," Misato suddenly broke down on Kaji, giving a quick pound to his shoulder to try to release her grief. That not working, she proceeded to force it out through her tears. "The only m-menace he l-lost to was the E-eva." She whispered into his ear. In the background, Fuuyutsuki kept talking. "And looking at the people before me, I know he will be missed." Fuuyutsuki finished. He glanced to his right to see Commander Ikari sitting on a chair, his face the cold reflection it always is. Thinking that he would more than likely not speak at all, The sub-commander made the final announcement. "A marker has been placed on Mount Morisato overlooking Tokyo-3. The rest of today's services will convene there. >From 1:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m., it will be NERV staff only. Afterwards, the public will be allowed to pay their respects." Finishing again, he stepped down from the podium and walked back to his seat. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------- Mount Morisato was a familiar place for Shinji. After the defeat of the ninth angel, He, Asuka, and Rei had watched the city from this place. Both Misato and Asuka, as well as Touji and Kensuke, had caught him passing time more than once at this place. It seemed fitting to his friends, and to the PR department who had suggested using a public spot to rally support for NERV, that this site be his 'final resting place.' In truth, with no body to bury, the only object buried here was a box containing a small photograph taken ten years ago of him and his mother. (No one knew this, save Gendo, as he was the man who put it there.) The marker itself was unimpressive, being a five-foot tall obsidian slab with the words "May he find peace" stenciled in kanji directly under his name. Despite its seemingly benign appearance, it had the effect of an N2 bomb. Those that knew who and what it stood for would feel sadness and despair, and only the strongest of hearts could resist its negative charm. Kensuke and Hikari watched as the NERV funeral procession made its way up the mountain. They were the only two civilians allowed to be at this place at this time, mainly because they were Shinji's friends. Not to mention Asuka might have needed some emotional stability, as Kaji was too busy trying to help Misato. Kensuke's ever-present video camera filmed the event, mainly for the benefit of one Touji Suzuhara, who was in the hospital and couldn't be present. Asuka noticed this as she got out of Misato's car. Nearly running to where Kensuke was standing, she pulled back her fist to let loose a good punch. She would have done it, had Hikari not stepped in between her and her intended target. "Asuka! What are you doing!?" "That pervert is always taping everything with no respect for other people's privacy! He has no manners, and I intend to teach him some!" She yelled, causing the other funeral-goers to stare at her. "Asuka, this is because Touji can't make it." Kensuke said solemnly. "He wanted to be here, but he can't walk yet. This was the only way that he could see it." Asuka stopped her struggling against Hikari and looked at him. "Hmph, do as you like." She said, and then stomped back to the crowd. "If she didn't miss him so much, I'd chew her out." Hikari said in a half- sarcastic voice. A single tear rolled down her cheek, while Kensuke, not knowing what to do, kept taping. Almost of all NERV's higher-ranking staff was there. Gendo Ikari and Kozou Fuuyutsuki walked at the head of the line of people, followed by Misato and Kaji. Behind them Ritsuko and Maya, Asuka and Rei, Hyuuga and Aoba, and Kensuke and Hikari. Each were invited to say a few kind words for the pilot to the other observers, but most opted not to. Gendo didn't speak, Fuuyutsuki had already made his speech, and Misato could only compose herself long enough to apologize for not being a good enough guardian. Kaji stepped up, told the others of a boy he could respect, and resumed his place next to Misato. While Maya silently laid some flowers on the marker, Ritsuko mumbled an apology for failing him. Maya told her sempai between tears that it wasn't her fault. Ritsuko simply pulled out a handkerchief from her purse, and handed it to her. Asuka remained the epitome of strength, even though the dark circles under her eyes betrayed her facade. Rei bid a silent goodbye, before returning to where she stood. Hyuuga and Aoba remained silent, while Kensuke had one final 'talk' with his friend. "Hey, Shinji..." He said as he spoke to the marker. "I've never really lost anyone before, so I don't know what to do. My mom died when I was too young to remember, and the rest of my family is still alive." He paused to switch the camera from one hand to the next. "Touji asked me to tell you he was sorry for hitting you. And that his sister is doing okay and is walking again. As soon as he gets better, he'll come visit you." He now begins to cry softly, lowering his camera to wipe the tears from his eyes. "It was fun, Shinji...Thanks." He gives a polite bow, and leaves his friend behind. The rest of the time passed slowly, with various people stopping by to say their farewells. Most of the NERV staff had left, leaving behind Misato, Asuka, and Gendo, who was constantly checking his watch. The public had come to the marker in droves, which astounded Asuka. She had no idea that the citizens of Tokyo-3 had such respect for the Eva pilots. A few even took the time to apologize to her for the loss of her teammate. Most of her classmates had apologized to her for the loss of her boyfriend, but she chewed them out and sent them on their way. Misato had stopped crying a long time ago, and had stayed because she simply did not want to leave. Going back to her apartment now would have been too painful, and she only would have gotten drunk and yelled at Asuka like she did last night. Gendo seemed to be waiting for someone. "What is that bastard still doing here? He was never there for Shinji while he was alive, so why is he here now?" "People turn stranger when others die, Asuka." "I know that, Misato! I just don't see why he has to be here. Wait, who's that girl that just walked up to him? It's definitely not Rei." Sure enough, a girl around Asuka's age had walked up to him. She had short, brown hair, and was dressed all in black.. She was wearing sunglasses and looked like she was trying to hide herself. Asuka was trying to think of who she was. While she was staring at her, the girl walked over to Asuka. "What do you want!?" The redhead bellowed. The girl simply stopped, raised her hand, and slapped her across the face. "That's for not protecting him." She scowled. Asuka was taken aback, but quickly regained her ground, and was about to release the rage that Hikari denied her earlier onto this girl. Gendo stepped beside the girl and spoke. "Now, now, Mana, Asuka, please restrain yourselves. This is not the time nor the place." "What would you know!" Asuka screamed. "And you, you little bitch! Shouldn't you be in hiding!?" Mana sniffled a bit before a few tears escaped her eyes. "I just wanted to see him one last time." She responded. Misato came up from behind Asuka and put her hands on her shoulders. "Asuka, please..." Asuka simply snorted, then walked away. "Now, Mana, have you thought about my proposition?" Gendo asked. "I'm sorry, but I can't. I don't want to pilot anything. I just want to live the rest of my life in whatever peace I can find." "Very well then. Say your goodbyes, then a NERV transport shall take you back to your home. The 'interested parties' will not be notified of your presence." "Thank you, Commander Ikari." She gave a slight bow, then quietly walked to Shinji's tombstone. "Captain Katsuragi." "Yes, Commander?" "Tell no one of this. Understand?" "Yes, sir. This incident never happened." "Very good. I will see you at NERV tomorrow." He walked to the transport Mana was boarding and entered after she did. Misato looked on in disbelief. More hours passed, as people slowly stopped coming. At the end of the evening only Misato and Asuka remained. Misato said her final goodbyes, and headed for her car, while Asuka took a little longer. She stood by his tombstone, letting the wind blow through her hair. Her black dress, the one she thought she would never wear, blew along with it. "Baka." A pause. "Why?" Tears. "Why did you have to go?" She kneeled before his monument, her legs unable to support her any longer. "I was just getting used to you." A memory flashed before her. The time they had kissed because she was bored. She had taken a second to savor it afterwards, before her wall of strength surrounded her again. "I liked...being around you." Another memory, this one of a time she had snuck into his room to scare him, but instead saw him sleeping peacefully. She had watched him for a half an hour before returning to her room, leaving him undisturbed. "I miss you." The time Touji had called them newlyweds. It was embarrassing, but it felt strangely warm, as if it was meant to be. "I think that I...love you." The time they had synchronized together against the sixth angel. The time they had fought the seventh angel, each one moving perfectly along with the other. The time he had leapt into a volcano to save her. The time he had caught her after the ninth angel was destroyed. The sweet look on his face when he smiled. His eyes. His touch. His skill. His bravery. His look, his act, his personality, his touch his smile his eyes his heart his skill his emotion hisfacehisbraveryhisblushhiseyeshimhimhimhimHIMHIMHIMHIMHIM- HIM. ALL OF HIM. Every last part. She couldn't hold it inside anymore. Her wall of strength, like the wall of Jericho from biblical times, shattered. She crumpled to the ground, assuming the fetal position one does when confronted with too much reality, and began to sob heavily. She hated this feeling. This feeling of weakness. She hated being prone. She hated him for making him feel this way. But most of all, she hated herself for never allowing him in. Never letting him get close. She wished she could see him again, and tell him these feelings, these thoughts. The fact that it would never happen caused her to cry harder. Misato walked over to her and draped her arms around her. As Kaji had comforted her earlier, she now did the same for her roommate. Asuka returned her embrace, and together they sat there, holding one another under the night sky. After several moments, Asuka finally spoke. "I loved him, Misato." Asuka said between tears. "So did I...so did I." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------- Author's notes: Sorry if it's a little dark. I thought it might be nice to try my hand at a semi-romantic story, but due to the lack of romance in my life, I have to depend on what I observe around me. Yes, despite appearances this is a romantic story. I just took a different approach and killed one of the lovers beforehand. I'm not sure where this will lead, but I'm thinking of concentrating on this for awhile. Oh, well. E-mail with comments. Godsend777@mindspring.com Special thanks to: Axel Terizaki - The Child of Love, a great fanfic focusing on the relationship between Asuka and Shinji, had Asuka decided to do more than kiss when she was bored, and wind up with a bun in the oven. Alain Gravel - The One I Love Is..., Another great fic about the trials of a love triangle between Shinji, Rei and of course, Asuka. (And the rumors about Hikari, hee hee.) Toh E. Loong - HERZ, which stands out in my mind as one of the best fanfics ever! It kicks ass! Words cannot express how good this one is. And to my one and only pre-reader, Mirei Ikari.