The Over-Enthusiastic Fan Page
I was only on the web for the briefest of moments befor I realised that if I was going to be a proper webhead, then I'd need to be a huge fan of someone, and soon.
The stalkee would have to be female, and a minor UK TV celeb.
The initial shortlist:
Daisy Donovan, of 11 O'Clock Show fame.
Emilia Fox, of Randall & Hopkirk fame.
Sally Philips, of Smack The Pony fame.
Lisa Faulkner, of Holby City fame.
Jayne Middlemiss, of Ozone Fame
Method: Look out for the person on TV or in the papers, and then go, oh yeah, its her.
It was obvious that one lady would win out, though, with those haunting looks that she gives me behind those fluttering eyelashes. It's ITN newsperson, Katie Derham.
See, this is an even better person to stalk, as you probably haven't even heard of her. Ha! You pathetic stalking foetus.
Let's see how I got on...
Note: This is a satire. I do not condone, or encourage stalking. Stalking is bad...m'kay