For Seddonism FM'99 I opened the show with a short rant. Here they all are:
Deodorant! You�re talking to me about a spray on deodorant?! I�m Sure you are!
Dyslexic! You�re calling me dyslexic?! You cucking funt!
Rope! You�re saying you don�t have enough rope?! That�s just out of line!
Lift! You�re telling me about a lift that isn�t working?! That's out of order that is!
A gabble! You�re talking to me about a judges gabble that�s not working?! That�s bang out of order!
Nativity scene! You�re talking to me about a nativity scene without wise men, shepherds or animals?! Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
Curse! You�re saying I've broken an ancient curse?! Well, I'll be damned!
Side of the head! You�re talking to me about falling on the side of your head?! Out on your ear son!
I think therefore I am! You�re saying I think therefore I am?! Well, I'll be!
Weak! No strength at all?! Well, blow we down with a feather!
Reincarnation! Do I believe in reincarnation?! Not in this lifetime mate!
Can�t carry your bag! You're telling me that your bags strap is broken?! I can�t handle it.
Leaving the country! You�re telling me you�re being deported?! Get out of here!
Fish! You�re saying that you want me to remove the insides from that fish?! I�m gutted!
Colostomy bag! You�re telling me that you stole someone's colostomy bag?! You�re taking the piss.
