Mingpod

Mingpod#5

Welcome to Mingpod#5, the ezine that is isn't
afraid to say "Ho ho ho" (*1) and gives you the detail
on the sites that have bin harassing my hummingbird,
cool gossip, jokes and things stollen from other
websites. If you want to be taken off this list or
want someone to be added, then email:
[email protected]
Warning: May contain ideas and phrases that cause
irritation.

>> Music <<

* The tune of the moment for me is the fantastic "The
Things I've Seen" by Spooks. It is released as a
single in January.
Funnily enough, it features vocalist Ming-Xia.
http://www.antramusic.com/artists/spooks.htm

* After my 1st pay packet, I've been splashing out on
lots of music. I'll let you know my best new purchases
in the future, but this week mingpodder Tom D shares
some of his recent buys:
- The Virgin Suicides soundtrack by Air (also the film
is great, but the OST has become the number one play
in my seduction boudoir).
- Zita Swoon, "I Paint Pictures on a Wedding Dress" -
Don't ask me what the fuck's going on here... they're
Belgian and quite plainly bonkers.
- Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, "Acme" - I think I
spend too much money on CDs.

* Why you must respect Damian Hirst's Authoritah
Before finding success as a shark-pickling artist,
Damian Hirst worked as a roadie, including a stint as
part of Barry Manilow's crew. Manilow fans would often
throw cassettes onto the stage. After one gig, Damian
found one, which featured a middle-aged housewife
talking at length about wonderful Barry was. She
mentioned hopefully that if Barry had some spare time
he'd be welcome to pop over for tea, and left her
number.
Damien rang her in the morning, introducing himself as

"Mr. Manilow's Tour Manager". He explained that Barry
had received her tape, and wondered if he could come
over.
With the woman beside herself with excitement, Hirst
added that she should also invite some friends, as
Barry would be bringing t-shirts and albums to sign
for all of them. Then, having taken her address and
set a time, Damian Hirst, along with the rest of the
Manilow tour, left immediately for France...

*S Club 7's Secret
http://darryn-reeds.tripod.com/S-Club-7-secrets.html

*Eminem's Mum cashing in on his fame? Surely not!
Check out Debbie Mather's attempt at rap at:
http://www.MarshallsMom.com

>> Films <<

*Scooby Doo, where are you?
Production will soon begin on a live action version of

Scooby Doo. The excellent Tom Green (of Road Trip
fame)is slated to play Shaggy and Sarah Michelle
Gellar has been linked with Daphne's role.

>> On The Net <<

*Best Prices
If you're new to buying suff on the web, then try
Shopsmart and Kelkoo, which track down the best prices
for you.
http://www.shopsmart.com
http://www.kelkoo.co.uk

*Absurd Gallery
The world of weird but REAL adverts.
http://www.absurdgallery.com/enter.shtml

*Seduction
You may have seen Ross Jeffries on Louis Theroux's
show a couple of months back, and I have to say that
it was one of the most compelling things that I've
seen on TV. Anyway, The Official Speed Seduction�
Website can be found here:
http://www.seduction.com/

*Popex
Like the stock exchange. But with popstars.
http://www.popex.com

*Mullets
Mingpodder Laura C. brings my attention to the lack of
mullets featured so far on the mingpod. So stand in
awe at the hairstyle of the gods! (Julie-I'm still
waiting for that photo)
http://www.mulletsgalore.com/

*MarkSeddon.com
I've done some updating this week, reorganising the
contents pages, creating a URE photo page, and using
David Hooper's (http://www.davidhooper.co.uk/fun)
picture for my startpage. Have a look and sign the
guestbook at:
http://www.markseddon.com

Find more links at:
http://www.markseddon.com/morelinks.html
or try
http://www.dutchbint.org/ a daily updated journal with
some of the best new sites

>> In the News this week <<

*West country, wets country more like it!
There's now been (on Monday 11th) 86 consecutive days
of rain in Exeter!

*The things people do to get a raise
Twenty-eight percent of British working women say they
have had sex in the office and 65 percent of them
don't regret it, according to a survey published on
Thursday.
The most popular location for workplace sex was "his
office", a venue favoured by 25 percent, with "her
office" preferred by 16 percent.
Other places used for sex included cloakrooms (16
percent), the boss's office (12 percent), on the
boss's desk (10 percent), the lift (nine percent), the
office car park (five percent), the canteen (four
percent) and in a cupboard (four percent).
The survey for newwoman.co.uk, a website for women,
was conducted among 2,000 working women aged between
18 and 35. It showed that 82 percent of working women
flirt with a male colleague and 89 percent believed
that a little bit of flirting at work is good for
their
health and confidence. A more determined 20 percent
said they would be prepared to have sex with their
male boss "regardless of whether or not they fancied
him if it meant certain promotion".
Carmel Hayes of newwoman.co.uk said: "Working women
will happily massage the egos of male colleagues. They
see it as a bit of fun, and even better if it helps
them up the career ladder." The survey found that two
out 10 women had sex with their boss and 15 percent of
those ended up by marrying him.

*Romeo & Juliette woz ere
Love rarely comes without a little pain but that may
hold doubly true for an unknown Singaporean vandal
who risks a caning for a bout of amorous graffiti.
The two messages, spray-painted on a busy road, have
defied a week of torrential rains to proclaim undying
affection for an object of desire named Jude.
"If I had a flower 4 every thought of U I can walk in
a garden forever," the more florid of the two reads.
The love-struck artist faces a three-year jail term or
a S$2,000 ($1,150) fine -- as well as the stinging
prospect of three to eight strokes with a rattan cane,
once he's traced.
M y source does not list the second piece of graffiti,
but I suspect it may read "I have a big cock".

*Pot plants
A Canadian who uses marijuana to control multiple
sclerosis symptoms was given the green light on Monday
to grow his own by a judge who ruled current
legislation governing medicinal use was "absurd" and
must be changed. Grant Krieger, who was charged with
marijuana cultivation as well as cultivation for the
purpose of trafficking, launched the court challenge
under Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms, saying
his rights would be violated if he was not allowed to
grow marijuana for his own therapeutic use.

*Molam goes home to sup bush
Mo Mowlam revealed on Tuesday how she developed a
fondness for whiskey during her time in the troubled
province. "Whiskey for me became an essential part
of the peace process in Northern Ireland. Every night
when I came home, usually after a tiring round of
negotiations, my husband would hand me a glass of
whiskey and ice."
Mowlam, who once admitted to dabbling with cannabis
while she was a student, added: "We only get one life,
so enjoy it. If you don't do anything to excess, you
won't go far wrong."
The Cabinet Office minister said the smell of Black
Bush whiskey, which she described as "the best in the
world", still brings back memories of peace and
sanctuary after a hard day.
Mowlam, whose father was an alcoholic, said she had no
fear of developing the trait. "I drink to relax and
add to enjoyment of life," she said. "And to stop the
shakes and the women that shout in my brain from
coming back", she didn't add.

>> Politics, well sort of <<

It looks like the US presidential race is now over, so
here's some pages to round off:
*Did Al Gore say it? Or was it the Unabomber?
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/ken_crossman/Gore.htm
*Bush or Chimp?
http://gwbchimp.8m.com
http://home.nyc.rr.com/jadedem/

>> Compliment of the week <<

Takk for mingpodden!
det er koselig av deg aa sende de greiene her.
Nei, naa er jeg troett, har researcha i hele kveld!
Ha det bra!
(from Mingpodder Kathrin S.)

>> Insult of the week <<

Your hair is so big I can see it from Bolivia.
(from Mingpodder Tom D.)

>> Unfortunate Advert of the week <<

*What's up with the Maybelline slogan: "Maybe she's
born with it, or maybe it's Maybeline". Are they just
rephrasing the following slogan: "Maybe she's pretty
naturally, or maybe she's a bit of a dog and needs
Maybelline beauty products to make herself look
presentable".

*Also look out for the 102 Dalmation posters, where
one pooch's bumhole is airbrushed out. Which I find
quite disturbing.

>> You're Freaking Me <<

* At Roccocco, the home of chart music, on Monday they
played the Britteny Spears/ Eminem bootleg.

>> Things 2 Do <<

*Phone up Domino's pizza, ordering an extra hot pizza,
to be delivered to a "Mr Satan" at Hell. (As per the
Sky1 adverts following the Simpsons)

*If you're in Exeter this Sunday, then go see comedian
Stuart Lee at Timepiece.

>> Things 2 Say <<

To someone drinking a non-alcoholic drink:
"You have the weakest drink. Goodbye."

>> Christmas Recipe <<

Thanks to Mingpodder Gary M for forwarding to me.

Just in case you don't have a suitable recipe already.
Please follow the instructions carefully and
thoroughly!
Ingredients
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the vodka again. To be sure
it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in
a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat
again.
At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is
shtill OK.
Try another cup .... just in case
Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup
of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off the floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it
loose with a sdrewscriver
Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz
a sh*t.
Check the vodka.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can
find.
Greash the oven and piss in the fridge.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the
vodka and kick the cat.
Fall into bed.
CHERRY MISTMAS!

****************************************************
Mingpod #5 December 2000
"You have far too much time on your hands seddon"
Mingpodder Alex G.
To subscribe/ unsubscribe/ contribute/ comment:
[email protected]
Past issues of The Mingpod are avaliable at:
http://www.mingpod.com

(*1) And other bitch ass gangsta slang.