Today's Birthdays
(to be read in a bad local DJ style voice)

Che Guivara is 89 today. The Russian ex-revolutionary now lives in Greenland with his wife, Greta Garbo and is president of the Official Santa Claus Society.

Mr T, star of television�s �Airwolf� is 28 today. Now Mr T, real name Alice Ditchwater spends much of his time selling lucky heather at open air festivals.

Singer Cliff Richards is 75 today. When he�s not bursting into impromptu song, Lord Cliff can be found trying to get Seagulls onto the endangered birds list.

Baby Spice, real name Emily Bumpton, ex frontman of the Spice Girls is 9 today. Baby Spice likes pink.

Tauten Kahmun, the primeminister of Egypt�s mother is 35 today. She is an expert at first aid, and actually invented the first ever Ambulance.

Electricity is 50 years old today! It was discovered accidentally by Hollywood actor Boris Karloff who was out on a mining expedition.

Damien Hurst, one of the World�s leading Formula 1 drivers will be celebrating his Birthday today. Damien has been driving for Volvo for 19 years.

Prague is 10 years today. It has been 10 years since the independent state has resigned from Romania.

Brigadier �Bomber� Montgomery of the desert rifles is 107 today. �Bomby� has just recently been awarded for his role in the Dogfights over the Pacific in the 1st World War.

Ford Motors celebrates its 200th birthday today. The German Motor firm will celebrate this anniversary by driving a car around somewhere.

Film director George Lucas is 43 today. George was the genius behind �Battlestar Galctica�, and the gross takings of over 2 million dollars to date remains a record.

William Shakespeare would have been 1,023 today, had he not died, William�s works continue to remain popular in television drama, such as the recent Martin Chuslewitt.

Kate Winslett, who co-starred with Burt Reynolds in �Cannonball Run� is 55 today. She�s still making it big, and can be seen naked in many old films.

Prince Charles is 37 today. He may be living it up through the taxpayers nose now, but Prince Charles, or �Bonnie Prince Charlie� narrowly missed an assassination attempt in his youth by escaping to the Isle of Wight.

Shoes are celebrating their 60th birthday today. First invented by Nike in 1703, the shoes popularity seems like it will never wain.

Agatha Christie is 67 today. Although her science fiction books have a cult following, she is much more famous for her tennis playing prowess.

True Brit, Barbara �Babs� Winsor is 93 today. 1st in line to the crown, she discraced herself as she was photographed topless by paparazzi at a holiday camp, and ran away to be a gangsters moll.

Actress Julia Roberts is 22 today. Julia, a thespian prostitute, is best known for her fat lips.

Johnny Vaugn will be pissed up on birthday celebrations tonight. Vaugn, 26, GMTV presenter got his first break in TV as the voice of Tufty the Squirrel for a road safety campaign.

Mickey Mouse is 100 today. The famous Warner Brothers puppet wasn�t always a mouse, and started of his career as a dog.

The Drum celebrates its 250 birthday today. It was invented by Ringo Starr, a well known expert on trains with faces.

Bruce Forsythe, inventor of the quiz show �Big Cards� is 47 today. People recognise him by his large ears and catchphrase �You�ll like it, but not a lot.�