I was going to write an article about ...

In a conversation with Tom over a few instant messages we hit upon a phrase that is pure comic gold dust: �I was going to write an article about��

It was all prompted by this chance remark from Tom: �and they say nepotism is dead...�

Mark: I was going to write an article once about nepotism, but the editor gave the job to his brother.

Tom: I was going to write an article once about Freud, but the editor was my mother.

Mark: I was going to write an article about agoraphobia, but didn�t want to go out and buy any paper.

Tom: I was going to write an article about the lack of a good solid education in Great Britain, but I was never taught how to write joined-up.

Mark: I was going to write an article about obsessive-compulsive disorders, but I had to write each word 10 times, so it was rejected.

Tom: I was going to write an article about apathy, but I just couldn't be bothered.

Mark: I was going to write an article about people who can�t finish what they start but I

Tom: I was going to write an article about surrealist rambles, but I found that my frung had bibbled into a slivy... (etc.etc.)

Mark: I was going to write about people with low self-esteem, but I thought that someone else would do a much better job.

Tom: I was going to write an article about murder mysteries, but the butler did it.

Mark: I was going to write an article about in jokes, but gave up when Dave highlighted everything about toilet seats.

Tom: I was going to write an article about brevity, but it was too long.

Mark: I was going to write an article about tardiness, but missed the deadline.

Tom: I was going to write an article about me being a Luddite, but I ran out of tablets to carve.

Mark: I was going to write an article about nostalgia, but it would never have been as good as the articles I used to write.

Tom: I was going to write an article about running out of ideas, but I didn't know where to start.

Mark: I was writing an article about inspiration, but I couldn�t get any ideas for it

Tom: I was going to write an article about plagiarism, but someone nicked all my ideas.

Mark: I was writing an article about alcoholism, but got too pissed.

Tom: I was going to write an article about slipping into well-used clich�s, but I really was scraping the barrel. It was like floggin' a dead horse. I was sick as a parrot.

Mark: I was writing an article about deja vu, when I realised I�d written the article before.


Tom: Haha! I'm giving up... it's 17 past midnight and my brain isn't working properly any more.
Mark: Ok, sure thing fatboy.
Tom: I�m not fat, I just have a low metabolism.
Mark: My eyes are convex.
Tom: aaaaand relax.