The EGGS Files

Fade in to Mully & Sculder, in an office cramped by egg paraphenalia...

Look Mully, there�s a report of an eggs sighting near the white-house. Maybe
this is a bigger fry-up than I first suspected.
Don�t you mean cover up.
Uh? Cover up. Erm. Yeah. Yes. That�s what I meant.
Its all eggs, eggs, eggs with you Sculder.
Well, Mully, there�s a good reason for this. When I was little my sister was
abducted by eggs.
No she wasn�t, Sculder. You never even had a sister.
I did.
You never. In season 2, episode 3, we found out that when you were young,
your mum dressed up a rabbit as a little girl, and you used to pretend...
I�m not listening. La la la.
Then your mum got annoyed as it kept on eating all the lettuce, tomatoes, and
fruit corner yoghurts .
In caaaan�t hear you! Hum de hum hum.
The eggs didn�t steal your rabbit, Sculder. Your mum took it; cooked it up
for you and served it. With eggs.
Eggs. Damn it. They must have got to my mother too.
Of course they did, Sculder, your dad was the head of the egg marketing board.
Was he? When did we find that out?
At the beginning of series 3.
Oh I must have missed that one.
But I recorded it for you.
Did you label the video?
Well, probably not.
See, it�s your fault I missed it. It you didn�t label the video then I
probably recorded over it. You�re against me too!
Sculder, you�re seeing conspiracies everywhere, they�re all in your
imagination.
But what about that file we found in the underground file place that had my
bunny�s name plastered over mine. I was nearly served up with that egg.
Sculder. You�re insane.
No I'm not.
It�s probably as true as those daft electricity producing eggs you were going
on about.
Well, what else would �battery eggs� refer to?
Perhaps it...
Silence! You can�t stop me searching for the truth, Mully. One day I'll
expose that darn egg marketing board for the sister cooking, secretive
shadowy organisation that it is. The yoke is out there, Mully. Oh yes.
You�re bonkers.