SEDDONISM PRESENTS...
The Calorie Counting Hobby

Hello once again you hobby foetus. It is I, Mark Seddon, the jedi master of
the force that is hobby.If you listen to my voice you will find out it is
called the calorie counting
hobby.

What you need for this hobby:
1)your eyes
2)your mouth
3)some measuring scales
4)a d.i.y tattooing kit
5)a week lemon drink

What you must do for this hobby:
At a dinner or restaurant, you must calculate the number of calories that
each person is consuming- you can use your scales and calorie knowledge- or
just make it up- it doesn't matter since you are always right. Once you have
worked out who is having the most calories, point at them, and in a loud
voice exclaim "look at that calorie  hogging maggot" and tattoo their face
with the same legend. You may if you wish also throw your lemon drink in
their face. Spend the rest of the evening laughing at him and explaining to
the others how many little African children that he is killing with each
mouthful (er...for some reason). You may celebrate this excellent hobby by
licking the lemon drink off your victim's maggoty bulbous face.

Anyway , this hobby is good and better than any other silly calorie counting
rubbish.

Now mortals walk in my godly hobby footsteps and do your hobbies- DO THEM!

Back to Seddonism Home