Batman Interview

At a young age my parents were murdered in front of me. I vowed to rid Gotham
of criminals ,wearing disguise to protect my identity and instil fear into
the hearts of my enemy.
A grown man dressing up as a bat does that does it?
Yes. Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot .Wearing the mantle of
the bat represents the night predator, a traditional creature that is feared.
My cape and cowl distracts and confuses my foe.
So you intentionally incorporated all this into your costume ?
Yes. With vast resources available to me I use all the latest technology. My
bat symbol on my chest acts as a target, and is lined with thick
bullet-proofing, giving the impression of my invulnerability.
Right. I see, everything serves a purpose. What , for instance is the
purpose of your fake rubber  nipples?
Well... I er... let�s see... there was a good reason at the time. er...
confusion! That�s it! It was to confuse my enemy
You�ve just described in detail the benefits of your dark and scary bat
costume. With this in mind, what exactly were the thought processes behind
Robin�s costume?
er... basically the same , really
Batman - His costume�s yellow and orange!
Oh yeah... well, it was, well, the reasoning was that err..
I�m going to have to hurry you...
Ok, it was designed to...um... distract the villains. Yeah that's it!
How?
er. like distract their attention while I pounced
So you have a brightly coloured child distract your enemies attention and
gunfire while you wait in the shadows.
er. yeah..kinda
Batman. You made it your mission to reclaim the night back from the criminal
element.
Yes. I�m Batman. I defend the night from the wrongdoings of evil.
How do you respond to the rapid rise of crime in the daytime then?
er.. oops
And what about all those people that you do actually capture?
I leave them tied up on the street like the scum they are, with a note
attached.
A note . Right. Now refresh my memory. Is that admissible in court?
Um...
No it�s not. Is it?
No. No... sorry. ... but look.. the police aren�t exactly very helpful
either. My car was clamped the other week, AND I was fined for going fast
passed a speed camera.
Batman, thank you.
This is the last interview I�m doing.