Helpful Hints
- Helpful Hint #1
- If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
- Helpful Hint #2
- Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away
- Helpful Hint #3
- Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
- Helpful Hint #4
- Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
- Helpful Hint #5
- An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.
- Helpful Hint #6
- Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink.
- Helpful Hint #7
- High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
- Helpful Hint #8
- A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
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