Title: Scars upon the heart
Author: Secret Art
E-mail: [email protected]
Category: angst, romance
Pairings: Jack/Daniel
Spoilers: general knowledge of the show
Summary: Jack remembers
Feedback: can only make me better
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and
story are the property of the author.
Author’s note: My English teacher was talking about a poetry anthology called ‘Scars upon the heart’ and it just struck me as a good description of Jack. Could be considered a companion piece to Things you miss. I know, I know, I just swapped the characters around from ‘Things you miss’, but writing that made me wonder how Jack would feel, and then when I was given the title, this fic appeared.
Scars upon the Heart
By Secret Art
"I sit here in the dark, but it’s not dark because there is a light on in the hall outside, and machines flashing around you, like stars in the night sky. It’s dark because you are lying there, eyes closed, and the light, the energy that normally surrounds you is gone.
I think of all the times that I have almost lost you, and I shiver unconsciously because I don’t know what I would do with out you. You are the only one that knows me well enough to be able to tell how I’m feeling without either of us having to say a word; and you are also the only person that can heal the scars upon my heart. Scars caused by too much loss, too much death and destruction that I have witnessed, topped off by the death of Charlie with my gun. I know you tell me not to blame myself, but I can’t help it, just like I blame myself for all the deaths under my command, even if they were inevitable.
After Charlie I felt like the weight was slowly killing me, so I decided to try and speed it up, to make the pain stop; but then you arrived and showed me how to deal with the grief, how to see past the hurt, and most of all how to feel again.
The first time I met you I thought that I would never grow to like you, you were the complete opposite to me; smart, funny, emotional, all things that I wasn’t, or tried not to be. I know, you’d argue that I am smarter and funnier than I seem, but I’m nothing compared to you, you are…well I don’t really know how to explain it, but I know you understand, which is what is so strange about it all, we are complete opposites yet understand each other perfectly. Ok so I may argue, disagree and annoy you from time to time, but you do the same to me, and I know that afterwards we can mend it, that we will be closer afterwards than we were before.
Why do you always have to go and get yourself injured?
Normally it doesn’t bother me much as you are up and about in days, but six weeks! How tired are you?
I love you space monkey, and I need you to wake up, as if I lost you, I don’t think anyone or anything could save me, as that would be one scar my heart would be unable to carry.
Wow, don’t think I’ve ever told anyone so much personal stuff about my feelings ever, but then you always had that effect on me, you are the only person I know that can get me talk about my feelings, even Sara couldn’t manage that, which was probably why our marriage broke up, but you, you managed to save me from that too, and I barely knew you at the time.
Please Daniel, wake up, I don’t want a scar upon the heart that cannot be healed, please, I love you."
"Jack?"