She leaned in to his neck, breathing the scent that is uniquely his. "I can’t pretend anymore."

She thought he’d move away, ask her what she was on about but he didn’t. Instead he held on tighter, his hand moving to gently strike her hair.

"What about Pete?"

She moved away, having barely thought of Pete at all, concerned only with what had been happening on the base after the failed rescue mission.

Seeing him lying there, terrified that he had been dead had made her realize how much she loved him, and how hard it would be to live without him.

She looked at him blankly, silently telling him that she had no idea what was going to happen.

He smiled, understanding her predicament, before moving towards the door. "The doc says someone has to give me a lift home. Either that or I have to stay another night."

He finished the sentence with a look of mock horror and she couldn’t help but laugh.

"I’ve just got to sort out a few things. I’ll meet you topside in fifteen."

He smiled and she smiled back. "I should probably go." She pointed to the door and he nodded his head, turning away from her and back towards the bed. She walked out, feeling happier than she had done in a while.

After being released from the infirmary by some doctor Jack didn’t want to think about, he stopped off at the lockers, grabbing his keys and coat, concerned about Sam, yet oddly elated at the change in events. Well so far as the change in their relationship, Janet’s death was never going to sit right with him, but she wasn’t the first casualty of the war, and wouldn’t be the last. He sighed, not that that would bring any comfort to Cassie.

Sam meanwhile had gone straight back to her lab, shutting down experiments and equipment, her mind trying to process the events of the last few days, especially those of the last few minutes. She could not get over the fact her best friend was dead, actually it was harder to believe that just a few hours, days? ago that the cold, empty, dead body had been a bubbly, kind, fun doctor, full of excitement and looking forward to taking some time off to spend with her daughter.

Taking one last look around her lab, she closed the door and locked it, smiling at the SF that walked past. Her Major Carter persona allowed her to appear remotely in control, well apart from the crying in the corridor when they first returned, but Sam knew that she had not been the only one to shed tears over Janet’s death.

Walking quickly to the locker room, Sam passed Daniel, but he was too absorbed in a book to even notice her and that suited her fine, she did not feel ready to talk to him. He probably wasn't ready to talk to her either, after all he had been there and was next to Janet when she died.

She blinked away tears, banishing the image from her mind. She had seen the tape, knew in vivid detail what had happened, and now any time she thought about Daniel and Janet she saw him screaming over her dead body.

Reaching the locker room she slipped in, glad to see it was empty, moving over to one of the benches. She sat down, laughing slightly when she realized that this was exactly where she had sat when she thought she had lost Jack. Now all she needed was for Teal’c to walk in and comfort her, but she knew that he was meditating, quietly absorbing, respecting, and remembering the dead in his own way.

Looking up at the clock she realized that Jack was probably waiting for her, so she grabbed her gear, not bothering to change, simply swapping her jacket for one without the badges, ever aware of the need for secrecy, before jogging to the elevators.

---------------------------------------------------

Reaching the surface she paused, terrified yet excited.

"Are we going or not? I’m freezing my butt off out here."

She laughed, turning to see him standing there, arms rounds himself, pretending to make his teeth chatter. In response she smacked him in the arm playfully, causing him to give her a hurt look before turning towards her car.

Helping him into the passenger seat she took a deep breath, steadying herself for what was about to happen.

They drove in silence, neither of them in the mood for small talk, Janet’s death still too fresh. Yet the silence was not unpleasant, just being in each others company had a certain healing quality, the fact that for them at least, tomorrow was still a possibility.

She slowed down as they drew closer to his house, wanting to spend as long as possible with him before she had to leave him and travel to her own empty house.

"You want some dinner? Takeout, on me. Doc probably wouldn’t want me on my own anyway."

She heard the silent beat after ‘Doc’ where he had been about to say ‘Fraiser’ before stopping himself, and she realized that he was telling her that he didn’t want to be alone, and truth be told, she knew she didn’t want to be either.

She smiled; not even bothering to turn to face him, but his relieved sigh told her that he understood her silent message.

Reaching his house she parked, jumping out of the car and opening his door before he had a chance to undo his seatbelt.

She blushed slightly as she realized what she had done, moving to grab her bag out of the back, giving Jack time to get out of the car on his own without any help.

She took her time locking the car and walking to his door, allowing him plenty of time to get comfortable in his house again before she intruded.

Taking a deep breath she entered the house, instinctively knowing that he was standing in a doorway, watching her reaction.

She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from telling him how bad he looked, face pale, panting slightly from pain and exhaustion.

She walked slowly through his house, savoring the fact that she could look, knowing most of what was there from her brief visits in the previous years.

The house was filthy, but then that wasn’t unusual for them, long stays off world or in the infirmary meant that their houses suffered from neglect.

She had reached the kitchen, was peering into his empty fridge when his voice caused her to jump.

"Indian or Chinese?"

She turned to see him standing in the doorway with two takeaway menus, one in each hand.

"Janet always preferred Chinese." She looked up at him sadly, suddenly realizing that Janet was no longer going to enjoy food, "She always said it was the best food for a carpet party."

He looked at her in confusion. "Carpet party?"

She laughed, her eyes still sad. "You get a Chinese takeaway and eat it on the floor, preferably with fingers." There was a brief silence. "I’m sure that sitting on a chair or sofa counts," she added, her reward his grateful smile.

"Chinese it is, did Janet have any particular favorites?"

"She loved all of it."

He looked at her in horror. "If we’re going to order one of everything I suggest we get the others over ‘cause it’s going to be a lot of food."

She laughed, "how about we get what we like?"

"Ok, I’ll have egg rolls and chicken with noodles." He said.

"I’ll take the same Sir."

"Ok."

He went to the phone and made the call.

"Take a seat, make yourself comfortable Carter." He said from the other room.

"Yes Sir."

She took off her jacket and sat on his couch. Despite the fact that cleaning was needed the place was cozy. She liked it.

He joined her a minute later, two beers in hand. Usually he would have sat on the other end of the couch, but he was tired, his body ached, and he needed to be close to her.

He sat next to her, giving her a bottle.

"Thank you Sir."

"Lose the Sir tonight will you?"

"Ok Jack."

"Good"

"Are you in pain?"

"It comes and goes. It’ll pass. You’re thinking about her?"

"I try not to, I try to focus on Cassie, but yes, I think of her. I can’t take her open eyes from my mind."

Her voice was faltering again. He came closer to her. Caressed her cheek, tracing the path of her tear with his fingertip.

She gave him a faint smile, her blue eyes deep in his. He leaned toward her, his lips close enough to hers to feel her breath.

The door bell rang.

"Food…" he said in a sigh

"Yes" she answered.

Jack got up and hobbled to the door. Taking the food from the delivery guy, he came back inside and handed Sam a box.

"Here, with the Chef’s compliments!"

"Thanks!" She giggled.

"Carpet party?"

"Ok! Works for me!"

He knelt wincing, she didn’t dare to help him.

They started eating, chatting small talk, and drinking beers.

"Ok, I’m gonna get back to the couch, I think my ass is growing roots staying too long on that wooden floor."

She laughed out loud and sat back next to him.

They looked in each other eyes for a moment, silently.

"I can’t believe she’s really dead." Her voice seemed to echo around the room.

"She saved a life, at least it wasn’t in vain."

"I used to tease her, talk about all the times Daniel died, and how she kept being given chances to tell him how she felt, but she never did, and now she never can."

"What are you saying?"

"That I could die tomorrow, and I can’t bare to think about doing that and never having the chance to tell you, to show you how I feel."

Jack moved slowly toward her, still looking in her eyes, cupped her cheek, and started kissing her lips, softly. Her hand caressing his hair, her heart beating loud in her chest.

The kiss went deeper, their hands all over their bodies, tightening their grasp on each other.

Sam broke the embrace, getting up, still devouring him with her eyes, a sweet smile on her lips.

She held out her hand to him, taking him to his bedroom.

As the door closed behind them, a faint whisper came from the room; "Good luck my friends."

The End

Back to Stargate FanFiction