Most of us firmly believe that it should be YOUR decision. Out of all of us second timers, probably about half are planning to wear a veil and maybe about half not. I never wore a veil for my first wedding (which was very casual..heck..I didn't even wear a wedding dress!) but I plan to wear a veil for this one as it seems to really complete the look. Most of us agree that the "blusher" type veil is best left to the younger "virginal" type brides...lol...but the regular type veil is still very popular with second timers! - Oldchick

You will find that most of us here have thrown the rule book away. if you want a veil, then by all means, wear one and feel good about it! we all agree that this is our day, our wedding and we will do as we please. it is truely amazing how free you feel about the whole thing once you realize that the rules are only there if you want to follow them. if you don't, then do what suits you and your FI. - Joanie

Some people act as if we should be ashamed that this is our second time or that it isn't as special or valid as the first and we should be wearing "older bride" dresses or something simple and plain as to not draw attention to ourselves. Well I say those people be damned! - BrenC

My personal opinion is that it is YOUR MONEY and YOUR DAY! Do what you want to do! I knew in my head exactly what I wanted. I wanted to be surrounded by about 200 friends and family and have a fairly casual wedding. I wanted to wear the big ivory dress but didn't like the veil on me. I didn't do the garter toss or bouquet toss but I did do bubbles and a big cake. So many people told me that we should just go to the court house or Vegas. NO WAY! - LonghornBabe

Don't feel strange. It is what you want. And in today's times anything goes! Example....I'm getting married for the 3rd time. And my FI and I are going all out and make it our dream! No one else's dream but ours. And I get a lot of advice on it too. I tell them thanks and we are going to do it like this. You and your FI need to make it your dream! It's the start of your new life together and if you want to go all out then do so! You will be happier and so will your FI! Be true to your heart and you can never go wrong! - WinterStar

You're old enough to know exactly what you want, how you will pay for it, and how to organize it, so if you want the dress, the guests, the cake, the car and the whole darn thing, go for it! Remember that it's your wedding, not your family's, first and foremost. My family took awhile to adjust too, but they've gone from lecturing me about the frying pan and the fire to being excited and asking about the plans, and what the MOB dress should look like, etc etc etc. I just kept pointing out to them how much happier I am with FI, how much my DS really likes him and how much more "normal" our home life is now. (A little flattery never hurt either - I tell them that what I have with FI is what my folks raised me to expect out of a marriage)

It will take time, and some people may never come around if your family is either very religious or very old-fashioned and unfortunately you have to accept that. As much as it may hurt, many of us have decided not to invite these kinds of people to our weddings, wanting to surround ourselves with loving, positive people on this extremely joyous day. - Karen

I feel often it has nothing to do with age or if someone had a JOP wedding the first time or not. I lived this prior to getting married (without my family being there), the guilt, the feeling of being torn between family vs the new life you've planned, etc. In my own case, it was a couple things - control and embarrassment from my family.

Although most of my family wanted me happy, it was on their terms, their ideas of where I should be living, their idea of when (if at all) it would be appropriate to ever remarry etc. I've never been one to follow rules ... I have my own mind. I know what is best for me.

The embarrassment part was amazing to me. People felt a quiet courthouse ceremony would be best. No wonder I felt like I didn't deserve a wedding and was walking around with a big " D " on my forehead.

Those two things CAN be overcome with support from others which I learned was the most important part of planning this wedding. You have to find someone outside of family to discuss the hurt and pain you feel. Once you can accomplish a support system, you can plan a wedding. - PearlieVA

I was 49 when I got married the second time. Both DH and I had done the JP thing the first time around and we really wanted a traditional Catholic church ceremony this time, with a reception following for 65 guests. Well, that's exactly what we ended up doing. I did receive flack from my mother....comments such as "Why are you making such a big deal over this wedding," and other similar comments. In fact, she brought this up several times over a period of months.

The answer is that, this is our FIRST WEDDING. The fact that we were married before doesn't mean it shouldn't be a special day for us. DUH???? I finally told her to stop harping. We were paying for it, and it was none of her business. I told her to just show up and smile for a couple of hours. "You can do that for me, can't you mom?"

When the event was over, my mom was gushing at what a beautiful event it was. In fact, she said the ceremony was the most beautiful wedding she had ever been to. We hired professional Opera singers, husband & wife duo, to sing at the church, and it was awesome. (My mother is from Italy and loved Opera Arias, the Ave Maria and the duets we had them sing). - Carla

No it is not rude. No it is not saying "give us presents". if you want to register, by all means do so! In many instances, you will get gifts whether you register or not. - Joanie

Go ahead and register! It doesn't matter how many times someone has been married, those who want to buy you a gift will, and those who don't, won't. And those who do decide they want to buy you a gift will more than likely appreciate a registry. - Michelle

Like we've said a million times before, people don't come to showers because they feel obligated to, and they don't buy gifts for the same reason. They come to celebrate with you and they bring gifts because they're happy for you. If they're nasty and don't want to come, they won't and won't bring a gift. And it won't be the end of the world! Yes, VERY traditional people will think/say something to you about it, but these are the same people that will tell you that you ought to just go to Vegas or the courthouse because you've been divorced once. NO NO NO NO NO!!!

You can do whatever you want, invite whomever you want (or don't want) and celebrate in the way you see fit, whether this is #1, #2 or #14 (and you're Elizabeth Taylor). Enjoy and tell nosy/busybody relatives to stuff it. - Karen

Officiant: It is the desire of bride's name and groom's name to extend their commitments to each other by making some promises to the child of this family. As you all join hands to form a new circle of love, we will seal this union with spoken promises like the rings this bride and groom have exchanged.

Officiant to Bride and Groom: Do you, bride's name and groom's name, promise to be faithful, loving, tender and nurturing parents, always there for child's name, not only providing for his/her physical needs, but for his/her emotional needs as well, always a good listener, a loving counselor and a friend?

Bride & Groom: We do.

Officiant to Groom: (repeat after me to child): (kneel) I want you to know that I love your mother very much. I will not and cannot replace a father loved by you, however I can promise you that I will love you and care for you as if you were my own. I promise to be a committed listener. I promise you my trust, my support and what knowledge I can share. I promise to be fair, to be your friend and to provide a shoulder for you to cry on. I promise to be as available to you as I am to your mother.

Groom to Child: Child's name, I give you this ring as a sign of my loving promises made this day.

Officiant to Child: Do you accept the promises made by groom's name today?

Child: I do.

Officiant: May God now bless you all as a family, and bless this marriage and this home, wherever you may be. Amen. - Credit for vows go to Knottie Jen!

There is also the Group Unity Candle ceremony
We had a group unity candle ceremony. Each guest was given a candle and they each lit that candle from the person next to them. The flame then travelled to the front of the church and when it got to our mothers, they lit our children's and our two daughters lit our tapers. We then took the tapers and lit the large candle. Whe had the minister give a reading and explaination of what this all meant. - Credit to Truckerbride05

A Sand Ceremony is also an option
After the vows have been said and the rings exchanged, the wedding officiant will guide the bride, groom, and the children through the sand ceremony. Generally, the officiant will explain the ceremony to the guests and invite the bride, groom, and children to pour sand from their individual containers into one larger vase or container.