Glacier Point

 

By

Brandon Seger

 

Email: [email protected]

 

 

Take a look at http://www.ics.uci.edu/~celio/yosemite/Glacier7.jpg for an image of the actual Glacier Point location.

 

Characters

 

Jason

 

Kenny

 

Park Ranger

 

Tourists

 

 

 

 

[Lights up.  The location is at the top of Glacier Point in Yosemite National Park, a cliff edge that sits 3,000 feet above the valley floor.  At center stage is a rail raised up on an inclined platform, raising up in the direction of the audience.  In the background is a series of connected large papers with drawings of trees on them.  The rail stretches from both sides of the stage.  Off to the sides of the stage stand Tourists, chatting indiscriminately and looking at the view.  After a few seconds, Jason  enters from downstage.  The lights focus on where he stands]

 

Jason  Whoa…dude, that’s awesome.  Hey, Kenny, come over here.

 

Kenny [Offstage]  No way, man!

 

Jason  You big sissy.  There’s a hefty rail here.  Come on, it’s perfectly safe.

 

Kenny  I’m fine right here, Jason.

 

Jason  You won’t believe the view from where I’m standing.

 

Kenny  Screw that!  The view is just fine where I am.

 

Jason  You can’t see jack.  Come on, grow a backbone and walk on over here.

 

Kenny enters from backstage, and walks slowly over to the rail to join him.

 

Jason  See?  It’s a rail, embedded in the rock.  It’s not going anywhere.

 

Kenny stands a few feet behind Jason, unwilling to approach the edge.

 

Kenny  Oh yeah, nice few.  Totally awesome.

 

Jason walks back, grabs Kenny by the jacket and pulls him to the rail. 

 

Kenny  Hey!  Ah!  [His eyes are closed]

 

Jason  Ok.  Now you’re at the rail.  You’re not going over the edge.  You’re fine.

 

Kenny  [Opening his eyes slowly, then speaking in a high voice] Oh my goodness…[He clings tightly to the railing]

 

Jason  All right, if you have to wrap your arms around it like a Burmese python, fine. 

 

Kenny  How high…is this?

 

Jason  All those trees and buildings and car and people you see down there?  We’re 3, 200 feet above them.

 

Kenny  What?

 

Jason  Yeah, isn’t that cool?

 

Kenny  Those people walking…they all look like ants.

 

Jason  And those trees look like grass blades.  They’re like 100 feet tall, too!

 

Kenny  Why did you have to drive us here?

 

Jason  Well, if we’re going to be in Yosemite valley and look up at the granite monoliths, I figured it’d be a good idea to have a bird’s eye view as well.

 

Kenny leans his head over the railing to peer down, and quickly retracts his head.

 

Kenny  Oh, God!

 

Jason  And you were freaking out on top of the Empire State Building.  We’re twice as high where we are!

 

Kenny  Ok, I think we’ve had enough. 

 

Jason  Heck no, man!  Let’s stay for a few minutes.  This is such a crazy view.  How can you not like it?

 

Kenny  I think I’d feel better if my feet were on the ground down there!

 

Jason  Come on, look over there.  [Points to stage right]  There’s Half Dome.  [Points toward audience] There’s Yosemite falls.  [Points stage left] That way is El Capitan, but we can’t see it. 

 

Kenny  I’d rather see them from the ground up, than you very much.

 

Jason  Just think, it’s amazing how this was all made.  During the last ice age this land was a shallow valley, then after millenniums it was carved down and down by rivers and glaciers to form what we see here. 

 

Kenny [Not impressed]  Wow, yeah, that’s…that is amazing.

 

Jason climbs the railing and sits his bottom on the edge.  The other Tourists gasp upon seeing it.

 

Kenny  Have you lost your mind!

 

Jason  Hey look, Kenny, no hands!  Remember in grade school, we sit on top the money bars and say that?  Kind of weak by comparison to this.

 

Kenny  Get down from there!

 

Jason  It’s ok, I’ve got it under control.  I’m not going anywhere.  I just want a closer view.

 

Kenny  I’m about to pass out just looking at you…now get back down!

 

Jason  Haha…hot dang.  What a rush sitting right here, looking a few thousand feet down.

 

Kenny passes out and slumps to the ground.

 

Jason  Uh, Kenny…?

 

A Park Ranger enters.

 

Park Ranger  Hey, get down from there!

 

Jason  Oh, sorry officer.

 

Park Ranger  What’s gotten into you?

 

Jason  Just having a little fun.

 

Park Ranger  Are you on a death wish or something?

 

Jason  I just wanted a better view.

 

Park Ranger  You could’ve gotten yourself killed!  You frightened all these people!

 

Jason  Hey, look, I’m still here, still breathing. 

 

Park Ranger  You should have your head examined, doing something stupid like that.

 

Jason  What’s the big deal?  I didn’t put anyone else in danger, and I’m had a good hold of things.

 

Park Ranger  Look, I don’t care what was going through your head, it’s against park rules to sit on the rail!  You want to get fined?

 

Jason  No, no!  Jeez, I’m sorry.  I won’t do it again.

 

Park Ranger  You better not, or else I’ll really have to put on my angry face.  Now, what’s wrong with your friend here?

 

Jason  Oh, he’s just got a little fear of heights.  He’ll regain himself in a minute.

 

Park Ranger  He’s clear passed out, and I don’t blame him after seeing the stunt you tried to pull!

 

Jason  Hey, would you get up off my back about it?  I’m not going to do it again, all right?  This rail is as safe as can be.

 

Jason pushes his hand on the rail to demonstrate it’s safety, and then the rail detaches and falls over, the Tourists scream.  The Park Ranger and Jason look at each other, the former with stern contempt, the latter with stunned disbelief.  A few seconds later, Kenny wakes up, sits up and sees the fallen rail, screams, and faints again.  Lights fade on the three characters.