MerryMudPuppy

Sailor here. And Zoe.

Both of us are very clean. Very, very clean. I am clean because Mom took me to the Do It Yourself DogWash yesterday and did it herself. Zoe is clean because she really got into trouble this time.

The family is coming for Christmas Eve dinner tonight and Mom, in the throes of Christmas cooking, found that two dogs underfoot snuffling at the leg of lamb and drooling at the gravy was two too many. "Hey, guys," she said. "Go play outside." So we did. And we made an amazing discovery.

There's an enormous hole of wet muddy water in our back yard. Well, it started out to be a small hole, but became enormous due to the diligence of Zoe. I thought that maybe Mom had had a yard sale after all and almost nobody came. Mom says the gardeners, thinking we must live in Alaska, left the water going just a little bit so the pipes wouldn't freeze. The water was on for six days. I made a mental note to invite my Leonberger friends over the next chance I get. Anyway...

Zoe found the mud. Zoe became one with the mud.

The lamb in the oven, Mom got very lonely and wanted us back in the house with her. Mom called us. I came right away. Gooood Sailor. As Zoe was running across the lawn behind me, Mom said, "Sailor, does Zoe look funny to you? Her legs are black. So is the tip of her tail and so is her belly. And what happened to her FACE?" Then she said some words that almost sounded like "cheese and rice got all muddy." Muddy, we had, but I didn't see any rice cakes, and the cheese was not forthcoming either. Hmmmph. Mom's always doing things like this.

Zoe came running with mud dripping from her tongue. She was very happy. I thought Zoe was trying to dig deep into the mud and tunnel under the fence. There was quite a long trench full of muddy water by the hose bib. Mom said she'd refrain from telling Zoe that Zoe was digging in the wrong direction. But she didn't tell me that I should refrain. I am keeping this a secret until the time that I really need to let Zoe know that I am best because she dug in the wrong direction.

After some silent meowing (on Mom's part), Mom stuck Zoe under the hose in the back yard. The brick patio became one with the mud. Mom became one with the mud. Mom then changed her clothes and put Zoe in the car and took off. Fortunately, the car did not become one with the mud. She left me inside in my crate with an enormous cookie all to myself. Zoe didn't get a cookie.

Almost two hours later, Zoe came back smelling like the DogWash. Mom said she had to put Zoe through two wash cycles and two rinse cycles and then blow air all over her for almost an hour. Eight other dogs came and went in the time that Zoe was being tortured. Boy, is she ever clean! That'll teach her. "No," Mom says, "She's a Siberian. She'll never learn."

Sailor and Zoe, the former mud-puppy