The quote book is something we started at the beginning of the school year and we put all these stupid or funny thing people said in it. It didn't matter who you were (unless you were cody, he's the exception to everything I think) or if you opposed being in it, you were in the quote book, or if it was a good quote from a movie or show or something. Here we will put the best from the 2 quote books. We decided since we wrote against these people's wills, we'd make it anonymous, and void all names, just because that the thing to do. We don't want anyone too angry at us. So, who's up for a good laugh?
girl: (as a joke) Pity me, I have Herpes.
milo, from Pepper Ann: count on school lunch to avoid that nutrution-i'm-a-growing-boy stuff. it's all a fad anyway.
girl: i hope men start bleeding! i hope the start having babies! i hope they poop them from their ass!
boy in band: we actually have practice tomorrow. I'm SO getting naked.
teacher: here we have alchol. A small amount.
boy student: Oh boy. Where'd the rest of it go?
girl 1: If your boobs get as big as ____'s, I'll hate you.
girl 2: I'll still be the same person. You can touch them.
boy 1: who can kiss their elbow?
boy 2: Oh my god I never thought of doing that.
girl: Smaller can move quicker. I'd know. I love it up the ass.
boy 1: You know what sucks? My girlfriend thinks your hot?
boy 2: sucks for you.
boy: (saying all of theses within 5 minutes) I live in a trailor. I use my toilet as my refridgerator.
Argh! My penis is stuck in the fridge!
I think your mom's a vegitable!
I'd like to eat an evaporated cat.
Smile ______ or I shall dance on a desk with booby tastles.
Will you stop staring at me like a necropheliac eskamo?! (then itches nuts)
_____ come back here. Lick the nipples off my body.
girl 1: So do you trust me?
girl 2: No you'll be the one to rape me.
Old man runs past group of 3 grrls and a boy.
girl 1: We're dykes.
Old man contines running. Everyone is laughing their bum off except the boy.
girl 1: I'm gonna get raped if I wear this.
girl 2: I'll protect you.
girl 1: You'll be the one to rape me.
boy: Well I've got a big black cock [refering to two girls petting things that were black]
girl 1: You think I look like _______? You think im a big dumbface.
girl 2: You're not a fish.
(a minute later)
girl 1: I'm blowing bubbles.
girl 2: Ok, maybe you are a fish.
teacher: If you're a good bullshitter you can convince someone of anything. I'm a good bullshitter.
girl 1: I don't have any gum. I have tissues. Would you like to chew on one of those?
girl 2: really?
(2 moments later)
girl 1: ______, would you roll me on my side if I was making funny gurgly noises. [refering to alcohol vomit]
girl 2: uh...sure.
boy: at any one time I may have 5 pounds of bologna stuffed in my shorts.
(later)
boy: I'm sexually attracted to cheese.
boy: Do you have a tampon? A maxi-pad? Anything?!
boy: Holy fuck I'm getting a mullet.
sister: _____ what's our phone number?
brother: why do you care?
sister: just tell me the phone number.
brother. okay, fine. ###-#### (incorrect)
sister: You've lived here 9 years and you don't know the phone number.
girl: it went up my nose. it's fuzzy!
(later)
girl:I dropped ham on the phone.
girl: Mr. ______ (our vice principal) is a Sex Goddess. Mmmmm...
girl 1: Who the fuck would name their kid ______?
girl 2: Uh... Someone who likes towels?
girl 1: what the fuck does that have to do with anything?
girl 2: I don't know.
(later)
girl 2: Well ducks are whores.
girl: I'd hate to be an X. Everyone is always trying to get them alone.
boy: My hand smells like a wet dog. But I havent been petting a wet dog, I've been petting my head!
boy: you're only a pretend slut.
girl: I think the chair bit me. I'm scared.
(later)
girl: I want black and white pictures. Oh, I know, I'll go into a white room and wear all black. No.. waiting... my skin color will still show.
boy: Is the moon really made of cheese?
russian science teacher: yes. Not let's go all eat it.
boy: when do we do the baby project thing? (refering to taking care of a doll)
teacher: 11th grade. By then, everyone's knocked up anyway.
boy: Woah, those Rhino's are humping.
English teacher: Come on guys. I'm easy.
boy: (in corky ramano voice) You guys want some syphylis?
girl: I'm going out wiht a 73 year old man. Well at least he thinks so...
boy: SAGGY BALLS!!!
Art teacher: Next week, we're going to start self-portraits.
cheerleader: Of ourselves?
Art teacher: SELF portraits.
girl: Hello?!
college boy: gummybear porn!
boy: Ah shit! It's in my eyes. My eyes! (hair color spray was in his eyes)
girl 1&2: Are you OK?
boy: I will be (continues rolling on floor for a moment) Man, I ripped my pants.
boy: (trying to make a girl sound like a lesbian) At least I'm not sleeping with women anymore.
boy: Ever see the MTV2 commmercial where the electronics are having a threesome?
girl: No I don't watch TV, remember?
boy: oh yeah.
girl: I bet you enjoy the sight.
boy: No, not really. I don't think that's how baby electronics are made.
out of town boy: (after humping a telephone pole and being humped by another boy) Aw, this pole has nails! (walked away only to get humped again by other boy) My pubes!
girl: I need deoderant. The secret kind.
(later)
girl: Both hands! (grabs both boobs) Fondle! Fondle! Fondle!
girl 1: So basically me and ____'s comic deals with teenage issues- blending in, drugs-
girl 2: and knitting!
boy 1: Just kick her in the groin.
boy 2: she has a groin?
boy 1: Everyone has a groin.
girl 1: My girlfriend is a 500 pound hermaphodite (pauses) and she has webbed feet.
girl 2: _____, he's looking at you.
boy: Makes you thinks... Do beavers actually like the tastes of wood? Or do they dispise it so much the want to kill the tree?
boy: If you licked Walmart, isn't this how you'd expect it to taste? (eating a Walmart brand cookie)
girl: I don't eat buffalo... I mean they have buffalo wings, but buffalos don't have wings.
girl: ____, since you don't know me, tell me I'm sassy.
boy: Yes, your so sassy. I just want to spank you.
boy 1: ____, pick up you tampon. (refering to ____'s [who is a boy] shooting it across the room)
girl: May I have something to pick up the female sanitary item?
boy 2: is it used?
boy 3: (who shot the tampon) Oh yeah, I used it myself.
boy 1: Penis implantation.
boy 2: Of what?
boy 1: Of my penis in your mouth!
boy: What in placenta?
biology teacher: Blood and tissues. It's what sustains the baby before it's born.
boy: So it's like that baby's backpack?
boy: I don't want to sleep in my basement. Something might bite me. Like basement monkies.
