Written By: Armina Qi Saxton

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Chapter 3: Distance And Memories

There were many miles that sat between Central Gaia and the rest of her Territories, yet it didn't seem like far to those who were countless thousands of miles away from their own homes in other lands. It was far from the lands that they knew and had grown up in before they left for better lives and other things that they, and they alone, only knew of. Gaia was their home now, no matter who said what or why they had traveled great distances to get to where they are now. The important thing was, that they were living they way that they wanted and there was no one else to tell them otherwise.

These same people often found themselves in places they did not want to be, holding out that they would return home one day. They were in Gaia for reasons some of them did not want others to know, staying where they were until their exile were lifted or even waiting until things were better in their homes so that they could return and not have to see so much despair. Others left simply because they had no other choice, to see if their families would change for the better if they were not around to cause any more trouble. They wanted things to become better, not worse, as time went on and the days and nights circled around.

Gino wasn't far from where he had grown up, perhaps a hundred miles or more; something far less then those he had only seen and met once in passing then never seen again. He was still a long ways away from his own home and it wasn't as though it would take him a long time to get to even Barton Town from where he was. There were ways that could shave off several days of his trip and he would have to leave now if he stood a change to get there sooner, in case the weather started to take a turn for the worse. He could wait until spring, when the winter finally thawed off and the snow was a distant memory, but that wasn't an option to him.

His reasoning for leaving was not because he wanted to leave the village itself, but go home to see how much it had changed. He missed the cobble stone streets of Barton, the excitement around Durem, and the cool, salty air of Isle de Gambino. There were so many people that he hadn't seen in so long, so many people that thought he was long since dead, so many things that he had to see one last time. Whether or not his father had changed would be the deciding factor if he would remain there, or return to his life of wandering. There was an admittance that he was breaking his vow, of not seeing a sign before going, yet the ache of not being in the land that he had grown up was more then enough for him at the moment. More then enough for anyone, really.

He didn't know why exactly he was going, other then to see how much his father had changed since he had left him standing there all alone, but he was going regardless. There was a certain degree of homesickness that he wanted to get rid of, to see everything again in all of its splendor. Truth be told, he did miss waking up in a warm, four-poster bed with the riches his father had bought all around him, the smell of breakfast coming up to him from downstairs, the view of the ocean from the stretch of beach that had been cut off from the rest of the world. He didn't miss the way many Gaians looked at him when he had gone out, but that was something that came with being a Gambino, that he had more rights then they did and they were jealous of the power that would, one day, be handed down to his own shoulders.

Since he had arrived in the small village a year and a half before, he had lived in a room in the town's only Inn, calling it not even his own but a place to stay until he could get home. He had more then made his rent up to the Inn Keeper by doing chores and working hard in places he would have never done before, so not a single gold piece had been traded between the two. It was more then enough that this worked for Gino, as he had no god to spend and his inheritance was all on Isle de Gambino somewhere, perhaps the Bank. If there was any, after what his father might have used it for or even worse then he could imagine.

On the small bed of the Inn room, a medium-sized bag lay, already closed and ready to be taken to its destinations across Gaia once again. Gino sat on the edge of the bed, putting his shoes on before the long journey ahead of him. He wasn't really that nervous about leaving the peaceful surroundings nor about returning to a home he hadn't seen in over four years. That feeling has passed in the days leading up to the moment when he would depart and finally go home again. There was still some of that nervous feeling inside of him, but not enough to keep him from leaving. He had to go back home, just to see it again.

Once both shoes were on and were comfortable on his feet, he stood up and looked around the small bedroom one last time before picking up the bag. He had little possessions with him when he had left Durem and few items had lasted the entire four years he had been away. Only a handful of clothing, several books, and some personal items were to make the journey to Isle de Gambino, his home. Everything else would be left behind or with some that he had befriended during the time he was away, keeping it all hidden away just in case he would be returning. There was no guarantee that he would remain on the island, unless there was reason to stay and everything didn't seem like it had gone back to it's old ways.

It wouldn't be strange leaving the small farming village after only a year and a half of being in there, as Gino set one of the bags straps upon his shoulder. He made a quick glance out the window, at the early night hours, and headed towards the door of the room It was best to leave early in the morning, when there were few people in the streets and fewer still that would ask where he was going at this hour and when he was going to return. He had already left a note for the Innkeeper about his departure, so it wouldn't be a nasty shock to find him missing when everyone else awoke. Anyone else he knew, would have to find out on their own as to where he was and why he had left so suddenly.

He paused at the door, listening to the creaks and moans of the old Inn, listening for footsteps hidden within these same sounds. He didn't need to be startling anyone, not at this hour anyways, nor did he want to explain anything about his trip home. It was a moment before he turned the knob and slowly opened the door half way, poking his head out and looking both ways to see who was there. He hated to be so secret about his leaving, but there was no way around it nor did he really want anyone to be trying to stop him from leaving. He had learned that lesson the hard way from when he had tried to leave Barton; with so many people not wanting him to leave, it was hard for him to take a step in any direction. He wanted to avoid that, while taking as little time as possible getting out of the village.

As soon as he was sure that there was no one lurking in the hallway, Gino moved into it and closed the door shut behind him. He gave one last look around him before silently walking towards the stairwell that lead from the bottom floor to the top floor, as it sat in the middle of the second floor with rooms on either side of it. There was no shame in leaving this early in the morning, as it gave him a head start to where he had to go before the winds picked up and the snow started to fall once again, harder and lot more then what he wanted to walk in. Even though he was wearing the simplest clothing, Gino would be warm for the most part. It wasn't much, but it would do despite there being much warmer clothing for him to wear.

Gino paused at the top of the stairwell as soon as he came to it, looking back at the way he had came. It was only for a moment that he paused there, a moment too long for him, as he descended the stairs to the first floor. It wasn't that far, since the Inn was only two stories at the most, but it felt like he had gone down so many stairs already in a short amount of time. By the time he reached the ground floor, was ready to welcome the cold air that the morning brought in and would want the warmth of a room to take the chill out of the air. But, he couldn't stay there, not now at least. He could wait until spring, but that was too far away and he was ready to make his start home.

The first floor of the Inn felt more like his father's office then an actual Inn, with the fireplace to one side, a wooden desk on the other side, a oft rug in the middle, and several windows that overlooked the streets. It felt warmer with the fire lit and many people gathered inside, but that was all that really was the same about it. The only differences he saw in appearances were the stairwell and the counter where the few travelers to the village checked in and out as they pleased. Maybe that's why he felt comfortable, as soon he had walked inside the first time he had come to this small village, that it reminded him of a home that he would soon hopefully see.

There was no point in looking to see if there was any person inside the large room, as there were no unlocked doors that anyone would be in and the threat of his footsteps being heard was over. His only concern was the door being unlocked to the main entrance, as Gino quickly walked towards it without once looking up the stairs to see if there was someone watching him leave. If there was, they weren't attempting to stop him from going back home. At least now he could walk across the bridge that was the distance between him and his home without anyone trying to stop him from doing so and to see how much everything had changed.

No matter what, he would go there.

****

The miles between where Gino was starting his journey and the destination was great and, to some, it was like attempting fate in the harsh reality that was winter. Blizzards had blanketed nearly all of Gaia, from the coastal waterways in the north to the mountains that were an unplotted boundary between lands in the south. In only a few weeks time, there had been several blizzards that had coated nearly every inch of the land, from several inches to several feet, in white snow. It had tapered off at the end of the third week; by then it was more then enough to keep everyone inside and out of the coldness of the winter months. For now, at least, until the snow melted to a point where Gaians could get out and not half to worry about moving in snow.

The snow was only a part of the reason that many had stayed inside for the better part of the day, the winds from the east and the temperatures from the oceans brought freezing air to those that dared to venture out into the coldness. There were times during the day that temperatures dipped well below freezing, so much so that many did not want to bother going out without layer upon layer of clothing or not at all. There was no reason to go outside, not unless there was something that needed to be done or a place to go to for supplies that needed to be brought home. Only then did the Gaians leave their homes and came back just as quick, as though they had never left in the first place and to huddle underneath blankets so that they could get warm once again.

Supplies to the outlaying communities and villages were done over a period of time before the first blizzard hit of the year, done quickly and as quietly as possible. No one outside of G-Corp knew when the first snows were going to start falling down in torrents, and that was the way it was going to stay as much as possible without many Gaian's panicking over something that would not happen for days. That lesson had been learned and learned well, when the last natural cause of concern over the weather of Gaia was publicly broadcasted to every Gaian's home within the boundaries of Gaia and her Territories. It was best to let Gaians know when they needed to know things or give a deadline that was vague enough for them to not worry about anything.

Once the snow had started to come down, everyone in Gaia had started for the places that had the most supplies and stocked well. All the shopkeepers, from Ian to Agatha to Ruby to those in the outlaying communities and towns, were out of things faster then they could restock their shelves. It was a hassle to see a shop open for less then an hour and then have closed signs in every window of every shop known to Gaians. Even the fishing lakes were closed off to those that had a habit of fishing for long periods of time, as it was too cold to do any type of fishing for profit or for anything else. Those that broke the boundaries of the temporary rules, were taken to the jails and placed there overnight until they knew what was wrong and why they had done it in the first place.

Soon after the last store closed until further notice, the first of the storms had come roaring across all of Gaia. There were some areas that spent days underneath the harsh winds and fierce snow of the storms, before it soon passed over and the short time between the first and the rest of the storms fell over those same parts. Thick blankets of snow now coated more then seventy-five percent of Gaia, from the mountains to the ocean, and it wasn't the last of the snow either. There would be much more to come, when the first snow started to slowly melt and would soon be covered again with the next storm that was fastly approaching. There wasn't much to do but wait it out until it was all over, when winter was over with and everything started to go back to normal once again.

It didn't seem to matter now, whether or not there were those that dared to step outside to see what the snow had done or what the rest of Gaia looked at the moment. All of Gaia knew that this was only the beginning of winter and there was still plenty more to come.

****

The distance between life and death had always been short, regardless of how time was spent and where the paths lead. The thought of death had been something all think of, in a passing thought or when another life had gone into the other realms beyond that of the living realms that existed in Gaia. There were memories that could be held in certain moments of the stream that was between life and death, through memories and pictures that hung on walls that lingered so. While some faded into the darkness of the mind, there were those that stayed just as bright as though they had never left in the first place.

Marie had always found the memories of things long since gone a comfort to her, even when those same memories were the ones that she no longer wanted to dwell upon. This morning, just as the first rays of dawn came over the horizon, she felt herself slipping into the forgotten realm of her past, as she sat stretched out upon a chair in front of the fire in the library. A golden yellow blanket laid upon her outstretched legs, the fire crackling silently in front of her as she leaned her back upon a pillow that was between her and the oversized chair itself. The lights were dimmed to a point where the fire was the main source of light for her, to keep the chill out of the room where the heaters did not.

There was a book of her own memories on her lap, her eyes looking down at the still shots of photographs and things long since finished. The pages had slowly turned in the last hour, ever since she had awoken from her deep sleep at a gust of wind that had gone against the balcony door of her and Johnny's room. Nothing had let her fall back asleep, not the comforting sounds of Johnny's breathing or the warmth of the bed. She had gotten up, unable to fall back asleep and too early to start any form of breakfast. She had come into the library with the intentions of falling asleep in front of the fireplace, like she had done so many times before.

Instead of falling asleep again, Marie found herself looking through old photographs of her life before the Tower had fallen upon it, before her father and sister died, long before her mother had left them behind. There were several twin, toothless smiles in the pictures, underneath tall Christmas trees that were already filled with presents, times when they were under the sun and without a care in the world. There were few of her mother, the woman's name long having escaped her memory as there was no reason to remember someone that left her and her sister alone; the ones that were there, had the face of a stone-cold statue. The woman's eyes were lifeless, it seemed, as though there was nothing inside her, that her soul had been taken away.

That had always been a memory of her mother that she couldn't shake from her memories, the lifeless look that she had always had on her face. Even when it was just her daughter's and her, outside of Count Vladimir's reach, Marie's mother had never really shown any emotion other then the occasional outburst of rage or the smiles that lit up her face. Marie had always known that her mother loved her, despite that love never reaching her face; perhaps it had come from the distant relationship her parent's had, since the marriage had been arranged long before either one could have any objections to it, or it was something else entirely.

There were other pictures in the book, mostly of her and Anna, yet there were even fewer pictures of her eldest sister. Most of them had been lost when her former mansion had blown up or they were long since gone from her small collection; she had been fortunate enough to get this book from the rubble, along with several other things that she now considered prized processions, before it had been taken away as rubble. These pictures weren't in the first few pages of the book, but rather in the back, something she had done in the first few weeks since she had come to the seaside mansion. It wasn't fair to either her or Johnny to have many reminders of that part of their past, even though they both were on talking terms with it and would not dwell upon it between each other.

Marie turned her head towards the fire, her eyes watching the flames dance in the fireplace. The distance between her past and the present was becoming greater and further apart then she could ever imaging happening. There were moments when she couldn't remember anything that had happened, no memories of what she and Anna had done in their childhood, nothing that she could relate to the children she saw staring out of their homes. There were moments when she had to stop and think of the things that she and her sister had done as children, from the toys that they played with to the actions that they had taken against other people. The only thing keeping her from forgetting the things that happened only years before, were the pictures that sat in her lap, bound together with things that she could not, or was not willing to, remember.

There were things that she refused to remember, more like attempted not to dwell upon, the things that had been, for the most part, the worst memories she wouldn't even wish upon anyone, no matter how much she hated them. Many of those memories were not pleasant, all of which involved her parents in some shape or form. The ones of her mother were often the ones that she wanted to remember the most, so that she wouldn't make the same mistakes that her mother had made. The times between the lessons on how a proper Von Helson woman should act and dress, the slaps across her face for not remembering which fork to use, the screams of how her hair was the slightest bit off---those were the ones that she had pushed into the back of her mind, but still somehow managed to remember them along with the good ones of her mother.

The memories of her father weren't as vague as the ones with her mother; still, they cut just as deep in Marie, if not deeper, then what they had done to Anna. Her father wasn't an intimidating man, none the least, except when he was angry and that had never been a rare occurrence. His eyes would always flash a different shade of white every time he saw his daughters doing something they were not supposed to, or heard about things that they wanted to keep a secret from him, and the punishment for deifying him was always the same thing. The markings on Marie had not faded to the extent that they had on Anna, since she had been called the 'good' twin rather the 'bad'; even the seemingly innocent sister had never really been one to stay out of the punishments for long, just long enough not to get caught the first time around. So much had been done to her, that her sister did not even know half of the things that had been done.

Yet, there were the memories that she cold remember above all else, the ones that she kept in front of all the others. The times she and Anna had spent away from Gaia, seemed to have been the best, despite Anna's constant bickering on how she had to do work rather then to lay back and let someone else do it for her. The years that were before their return to Durem had been the happiest when Anna had been alive and well. They had spent days when they had not been working, in the fields that had surrounded their home, just looking at the clouds and the sky above. Deep inside of them, underneath the outer shell that they showed the rest of Gaia, that had been the riches they had, the simple times without vast amounts of gold or anything else that reminded them of what they had left behind.

There had been nothing between them that had not been shared between them in memory, except the things Anna never mentioned to anyone, not even to her own sister that could share some of the same memories as her. Marie had understood then and now as to why those memories stayed a secret for so long, but regretted not asking more questions to get better answers then she did. If only she could have known what else Anna went through before her death, then it would have made all the difference to her. It was too late now to go back and ask what had bothered her sister so much that she hated Gaia for it and what had tormented her to her last dying breath.

Marie slammed the photo book close in anger, her face turning rapidly from the calm, serene expression that it had held to a dark, hellish twisting of her features. This was one of those moments where she felt angry toward the rest of Gaia, to her family that left her behind in the living world, and to Johnny for taking what had been left of her home out from underneath her feet. She couldn't help but feel as though there was nothing else in the whole of Gaia but an empty void of nothing, like a deep cavern with no bottom in sight and no way to get out of it. Everything was in memories and photos that were slowly fading away from her and she couldn't stop it from leaving her forever. No one could.

Marie stood up, placing the photo book upon the chair that she once sat upon and the blanket on top of it. She had enough of looking through pictures of the past and remembering the memories that came along with it. There was nothing there for her any more, nothing short of swallowing her whole and consuming her once again. She wasn't about to let the regrets that she felt overwhelm her to the point that she couldn't function, not when there was so much she could do and so little that could be gained from remembering things that did not need to be remembered. There were things, she knew, that wouldn't be as easy to forget and it would take time for them to fade into the darkness of her mind.

She gazed into the fire one last time before turning around and walking to the door of the library. She would be back to finish looking into the crackling fire when she was able to find herself with more sleep then she had at the moment, her body ready to lie back down again and find the rest that it needed. Without memories and without worrying about the flow of time hindering her.