Mystical Experience

The answer is YES!  YES!  YES!  In January,  1995 I was actively seeking God through meditation and prayers daily.   I owned a one-hour photo finishing business that had been struggling financially for six very long years.   I knew God did not lead me into this business to fail!  A lot of good things happened during that six years and I saw a couple miracles too.   Then,  there was the dark side,  what started out to be an early retirement dream for my husband and I,  turned out to be a nightmare.   It took its toll in major losses: on our relationship,  which ended in divorce; the loss of a family lifestyle and valuable time with my daughter,  Nicole.   Everything that was near and dear got twisted and turned upside down and inside out.   Whew!  Not to mention it drained our entire savings; which was major money.   It eventually took everything!  What a disaster!  Again,  I just knew God would never leave me nor forsake me.   After all,  what good father would hand his child a stone when she needed bread?   Every once in awhile a doubt would enter my mind,  "Am I alone?   You are there; aren't you God?

In the mean time life goes on and I was in search of it.   What is Life?   What should I be doing with my life?   How may I best serve Life?   Boy did I have a lot of questions for the Universe.   I was beyond Why and wanted to know what my purpose was and how I could best serve Life.   I was still a novice to meditation and was keeping a journal of every experience day by day.

On January 28,  1995 I asked the question again,  "How may I best serve?"   With a tablet and pencil the answer started to flow...Go forward - Just do - Help others -- Heal when asked.   Now is the time -- Go forward.   I'll lead; you follow.   It will all work out - go forward.   Now is the time to SERVE.   Now is the only time.   Just say thank you.   The past is gone.   Do what is right and with "Love".   It is finished.   (meaning the business,  It was time to let go).   All will be taken care of; no one will be hurt.   Be happy - new beginnings!  You have completed what you were supposed to do,  now it is time to let go and do.   To serve and heal - help others that need you more.   Just say THANK YOU.   So I did.   Thank you God! 

My business closed just 12 days later on Thursday,  February 9^th,  1995 at precisely 6:00P.M.   The key turned the lock for the last time.   I walked away and turned to take one last look.   Everything was now dark.   My once beautiful neon sign was no longer a beacon.   I felt sad but at the same time I felt relieved.   The words echoed again,  'all will be taken care of, ' each employee had someplace else to go and something better to do.   Ok,  I can be happy - I have new beginnings too!  Each customer and business associate wished us well.   Just as promised,  no one got hurt and I was set FREE.   Thank you God! 

I continued to pray,  meditate,  and journal daily.   Each day I asked,  "How may I serve?   What should I be doing?   What kind of job should I be seeking?"   On Friday April 7^th,  1995,  I asked again,  but still no answer.   Hmm,  Ok God.   Maybe you are answering my question but I'm too dense to catch it.   It's been two whole months since I have worked.   Let's get this thing going; I'm ready.   Let's go!  Let's go!  Let's go! 

Will you make it perfectly clear to me?   PLEASE ANSWER MY PRAYER!  I found out that day -- God has a great sense of humor as well as he always answers prayers.   I met Him while shopping in the grocery store and there he gave me my answer.  

I pulled my grocery cart as far over to one side of the isle as I possible could so I wouldn't be in any ones way.   That way I could take my time to reorganize and shuffle through my savings coupons.   I couldn't help but overhear the cutest little voice in the next isle.   He was asking questions and his parents were giving him some very thorough answers.   Then it occurred to me,  that sweet little voice was retarded.   I marveled at how wonderful it was for his parents to be so patient.   How wise they were to prepare him for Life.   Then -- BOOM!  Something hit my cart and everything went into slow motion.   I was still looking down at my coupons when I heard the father say to his son,  "Apologize to the nice lady."   The little boy said,  "Why?   I didn't hurt her."   His father said,  "That is true,  no one is hurt but it was just good manners.   This nice lady was standing still and your cart bumped into hers."   At that moment I looked up and time stood still.   I was in a fog.   I could not see either parent; I could only see the little boy.   I did see something more - I saw God.   When his eyes met mine,  all I could see was pure Love.   That moment was beyond words.   I was filled with awe.   He came around the cart with his little hands reaching up to mine,  as he was saying,  "I'm so sorry."   Then he touched me.   WOW!  There God was reaching out to me and touching my hand!  Again,  no words can describe the touch or the impact of that touch.   All I knew; God was revealing himself to me through this child.   I was so filled with 'LOVE' all I could do was just stand there in amazement.   The only words that would come out were,  "It's ok.   Thank you."

As suddenly as he appeared,  he was gone.   I don't know how long I stood there.   I vaguely remember paying for my groceries and putting them in the car.   I looked around the parking lot in hopes to see that little boy just one more time.   My head still felt light and my body too.   Was that really real?   I went home and thought about what I experienced and relived it over and over again.   I was so filled with electrical energy; it was like I had touched a live wire.   I couldn't say anything about it to anyone without crying and blubbering.   The words just couldn't describe my joyous moment with God.   WOW!  God revealed himself through that little boy and made himself perfectly clear,  that was my answer.   I was going to work with the mentally retarded.

When I was pregnant with both of my children,  I would pray,  "Please God don't let my baby be retarded.   Please,  please let my child be healthy and perfect."   I knew I couldn't keep my baby if it were retarded.   I didn't have the courage or strength to carry that big of a burden.   Little did I understand what perfection was or God's plan for my life?   Now,  I no longer am afraid of the retarded (my own limited perceptions).   Each time I look into their eyes; all I can see is God's perfect Love looking back.   My prayers now are...

The Christ in me reaches out to the Christ in you.   When we truly realize that the Christ is at the center of our being,  all fear and doubt vanish.   Then we can see the Christ in others.   The Christ spirit radiates from all facets of life.   Enlightenment of who we are eliminates our fears and with fear gone; it leaves only love and peace,  the Christ.   The Christ in me celebrates the Christ in you.   I Am whole!  And so it is.   Thank you Mother/Father God.