Title: Nothing Much

Author: Els-chan

Rating: PG-13 (bit of naughty language)

Warnings: Slash, bit of Cho-bashing

Spoilers: none

Pairing: HP/SS

Disclaimer: Neither the books nor characters are mine.

Summary: Challenge #12 - Harry has a crush, but it's not who everyone thinks it is.

Author's Notes: This fic was written for the first wave of United- Meant To Be fest.

Beta: Arigato, Wakka. You're my orange lifesaver.

"This is insane. You do realize that this is insane, don't you?" Ron Weasley grumbled. "I mean, he's the greasiest, slimiest, nastiest bastard we've ever had the dipleasure of meeting, and you're trying to tell me you like him?"

"No," Harry Potter responded calmly. "I'm telling you I love him."

Ron shook his head in disbelief. "But Cho...you liked her!"

"And then I discovered that she was shallow, a bit annoying, and really not worth my time," Harry replied without batting an eye.

"Well, yeah...but we were all so sure that you've been eyeing Ginny! I mean, haven't you?"

Harry turned and gave his friend an odd look. "Your sister? Do you know how weird that would be?"

Ron looked affronted. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Harry shook his head. "Nothing, Ron. I just think of her as a little sister, that's all. I could never date her."

Ron frowned. "But Harry, *Snape*?"

"Yes, Ron. Snape."

"But..."

"Look, Ron. I know this isn't easy for you to accept, but the fact of the matter is that I want to shag that man. I want to fuck him through a mattress. And afterwards, I want to cuddle and spend the night with him in his bed, and then do it all over again the next day, and the next, and so forth without any end in sight." He turned a page in his Transfiguration text.

"Right. And you think the best way to do this..."

"Is to get detention with him and approach him them. And I've already done half of that," he added with a tiny smile. Ron rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Whatever. Just do me a favor, Harry?"

Harry smiled at him sweetly. "Yes?"

"Don't give me any details once you do shag him."

Harry grinned.

Harry was humming a cheerful tune as he carefully plucked the last frog's eyeballs from its sockets. His professor stared at him oddly for a moment before looking back at the papers he was grading.

"You seem awfully cheerful tonight," he remarked nonchalantly.

"Mmmhmmm," Harry replied, putting the eyes in a jar and then wiping his hands off. He took the jar, closed, it, and placed it on its proper shelf before washing his hands in the students' sink. "All done," he finally announced.

"That was fast," Snape noted. "Now I'll have to come up with something else for you to do to keep yourself busy for the next three hours."

"Oh, I think I know of something," Harry said, slinking over to Snape's desk. "Something that you should be very pleased with," he added, sliding onto the edge of the desk. Snape raised an eyebrow but made no other outwardly sign that he knew what Harry had in mind.

"Is that so?" he asked mildly. "And what would that be?"

"Why don't I just show you, sir?" Harry replied, sliding off the desk to sit in Snape's lap.

"Oh. My. God," Ron muttered the next morning when Harry showed up for breakfast in the same clothes he'd worn the previous day with a big, silly grin on his face.

"What?" Hermione asked, turning in her chair to look. She gasped at Harry's appearance as he took a seat beside Ron. "What on earth happened to you?" she demanded. Harry's grin broadened.

"Oh, nothing much," he replied, then served himself some eggs and toast without another word.

~Fin~