Track 17

The next Saturday rolled around much sooner than Harry would have liked after his last humiliating confrontation with Snape. He�d barely spoken to anyone, only responding to simple questions, and didn�t even go to see Sirius and Remus for emotional support. Simply put, he was a wreck. So it wasn�t much of a surprise when Ron and Hermione had to literally drag him out of bed to get him down to the Great Hall for rehearsal, still dressed only in his pajama pants and undershirt.

"Harry? What�s wrong? Why aren�t you dressed?" Remus asked in concern after Ron and Hermione dropped Harry into a chair near his godfathers.

"I don�t want to be here," he replied petulantly. "This is all incredibly stupid and I wish I�d never been cast. I just want to go back to the dorms now and sleep and never have to face him again."

"�Him�? Do you mean Professor Snape?" Remus asked gently, causing Sirius�s eyes to narrow dangerously.

"What did he do to you now, Harry? I�ll go take care of him. I�ll make him regret whatever he�s done. I�ll..." Sirius ranted on until Remus stopped him by placing a hand over his mouth.

"He hates me," Harry replied simply, sliding lower in his chair. "He made that very clear after the last music lesson. He hates me, doesn�t want anything to do with me, wishes I was dead..."

"Funny, I don�t recall that particular part of our conversation," a smooth voice said from behind him. Harry swallowed hard but didn�t turn, instead training his gaze on the floor. "When did I say I wanted you dead?"

Sirius stepped forward, glaring menacingly at Snape, Remus�s hand on his arm the only thing keeping him from lunging forward and tearing out the bastard�s throat. Snape just cocked an eyebrow challengingly, making Sirius growl.

"Severus, was there something you wanted?" Remus asked, mildly annoyed.

"Potter," Snape replied shortly, indicating the boy in the chair with a tilt of his head. "We have some things to...discuss."

"And why should he go anywhere with you?" Ron demanded suddenly, speaking up for the first time since arriving. Hermione elbowed him in the chest and gave him a look that clearly said to stay out of it.

Snape turned his coldest glare onto the youngest Weasley boy. "Because if he doesn�t, I will be most displeased," he replied frostily.

"Ron, just...it�s okay," Harry said quickly as his best friend opened his mouth to say something undoubtedly stupid. He stood and faced his professor. Snape nodded and led him out of the hall. He glanced around, then headed into a darkened, empty classroom. Harry followed him in, jumping slightly as the door slammed shut behind him. He didn�t take his eyes off of his professor even though Snape wasn�t looking at him. Neither said anything, and for a while they simply stood there in tense silence.

"I...suppose I may owe you an apology," Snape finally said, so quietly that Harry wasn�t sure he heard him right. "I didn�t intend to imply that I wanted you dead." Harry opened his mouth, but no sound came out. It was just as well, since Snape apparently hadn�t finished. "I overreacted. What you said...I wasn�t prepared for it, although I should have been, and I didn�t know what to do." Snape finally turned, and Harry could see by his expression just how difficult it was for him to tell Harry all of that. He opened his mouth again, but Snape put up a hand to stop him from speaking. Harry�s mouth snapped shut. "That said, whatever it is you think you feel...it�s only a temporary reaction brought on by our current situation. You don�t..."

"Don�t tell me how I feel!" Harry interrupted, outraged. Snape glared at him.

"I�m explaining the reality of the situation to you, Potter..."

"No, you�re not! You�re trying to convince yourself � and me � that what�s going on isn�t real so that you don�t have to deal with it!" Harry spat. "Don�t try..."

"Don�t you dare presume to tell me that you know what�s really happening when you can�t possibly understand!" Snape hissed back. "You�re nothing more than...than a deluded child!"

Harry�s eyes widened in hurt, then narrowed in anger. His hands clenched into fists and he shoved his professor against the wall. His teeth ground together even as he stared Snape in the eye and growled, "I am not a child."

"Your actions say otherwise," Snape whispered harshly, pushing the boy�s smaller frame off of him. Harry stumbled backwards. "Clearly, I was mistaken in thinking that I could discuss this with you maturely, so I suppose I should be blunt and simply say..."

"Don�t you dare say that you�re not interested in me," Harry cut him off. Snape gave him a dirty look, but he ignored it. "I�m not stupid or blind, you know. Every time something happened, you were just as into it as I was. Hell, there were even times I thought you would swallow me alive, you were so..." He shook his head. "Don�t bother lying to me. Stop this stupid game already. Just tell me...tell me you want me." He looked up at Snape, anger and pleading fighting for dominance in his eyes. His heart sank when he saw his professor�s customary shuttered look.

"No," was all Snape said before stalking out of the room. Harry watched him go, and didn�t jump when the door slammed behind him. Instead he just sighed, leaned against a wall, then slid down it so that he was sitting on the floor. He banged his head backwards against the wall.

"I�m such an idiot," he muttered.