| Brave Sir Robin | ||||||||
| Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, O Brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin! He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin! His head smashed in and his heart cut out, And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged, And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off, And his penis... (Robin interrupts the song) (Robin encounters the 3-Headed Knight) (After Robin runs away from the 3-Headed Knight) MINSTREL: Brave Sir Robin ran away ROBIN: No! MINSTREL (singing): Bravely ran away away ROBIN: I didn't! MINSTREL (singing): When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled ROBIN: No! MINSTREL (singing): Yes Brave Sir Robin turned about ROBIN: I didn't! MINSTREL (singing): And gallantly he chickened out Bravely taking to his feet ROBIN: I never did! MINSTREL (singing): He beat a very brave retreat ROBIN: Oh, lie! MINSTREL (singing): Bravest of the brave Sir Robin ROBIN: I never! (Later, when Robin meets up with King Arthur) MINSTREL (singing): Packing it in and packing it up And sneaking away and buggering off And chickening out and pissing off home Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge |
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